is it unrealistic for me to want to marry a guy who is a virgin?

I think if you found someone who so passionately shared your faith and beliefs (and cmon there must be some guy out there who do! :smile:

) then no it's not unrealistic, it just might take a bit more time finding him that's all

Reply 2

BirchyGreen

Not at all. Lots of guys, especially if they are strict Roman Catholics will probably share similar concerns to yourself. I for one also find it a bit of a turn off if a girl has slept with lots of other guys. I think that it would be fantastic to remain a virgin until your wedding night, knowing that your partner has done exactly the same :smile:

Reply 3

shinytoy

OP

18

yes i think so too. i dont even care if the guy is crap in bed, or scared sh*tless like i will be because we have so many years to practise together, it can only get better. i want it to be intimate and special. and i know the sex wil be good because neither of us will know any different. especially after 25 or so years of waiting - all sex is good sex :wink:

but the thing is, most muslinms/RC/Christian guys dont share the belife of no sex before nmarriage - they just ignore that part and live a religious yet studly life.

and the older i get , the fewer virgin guys my age - the less likely i can maarry one

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

If it's really really important to you for religious reasons that you marry a virgin then by all means wait and you'll probably find him. However, I don't think you should dismiss a perfectly nice guy who you get on great with just because he's slept with...say 1 or 2 girls before.

Reply 5

me12345

i'm sure there are some guys out there who are waiting until they get married

Reply 6

shinytoy

however the thought of being with a guy that has been with alot of other girls disgusts me.
i want to sleep with another virgin only on my wedding night.

The thought that you would disregard a perfectly nice guy just because of his previous experiences disgusts me!

You cant judge someone on wether they've had sex before.

Reply 7

xXMessedUpXx

Hmm....marry a younger guy? :smile:

Reply 8

shinytoy

OP

18

i'd rather marry a non virgin than not marry at all. but i really would be turned off to share something so special with a guy that obviously isnt the same. if we get on great we can still be friends right?

i would have so much more respect for a virgin guy because there is alot of pressure to have sex, especially for guys - he would be a really strong guy to keep his V for so long.

i mean i know people can still be nice and we cant change the past. but if im going to share the whole of myself, i want the same from a guy

the problem is, i think i read somewhere 4% of guys over 20 are V's. so i might never find one i like

Reply 9

I still see it as bad as judging someone because of their race/religion.

Reply 10

flora

7

If you met a guy who made you absolutely fantastically happy in all other ways, except that he'd had say one sexual partner before you...would it put you off marrying him? I'm sure you will meet guys who have saved themselves because of their faith, especially through church or christian unions and things, but it's going to dramatically limit your potential field- you might find yourself compromising on other factors if virginity is a main priority.... The majority of guys don't sleep around, but they might have had sex in a loving relationship prior to meeting you- would you feel unable to marry a guy in that situation, is it really so bad? Just curious as to how extreme this belief is...

Reply 11

BirchyGreen

shinytoy

yes i think so too. i dont even care if the guy is crap in bed, or scared sh*tless like i will be because we have so many years to practise together, it can only get better. i want it to be intimate and special. and i know the sex wil be good because neither of us will know any different. especially after 25 or so years of waiting - all sex is good sex :wink:

but the thing is, most muslinms/RC/Christian guys dont share the belife of no sex before nmarriage - they just ignore that part and live a religious yet studly life.

and the older i get , the fewer virgin guys my age - the less likely i can maarry one

Well you better go out and get married now then :biggrin:

All joking aside i think you are puting an overly negative slant on this. I would wager that there are many devout Catholics out there who share exactly the same beliefs as you and I. Most of the guys in my university chaplaincy for example are virgins. One of the guys there is 30 and is a good looking bloke and he is a virgin too.

A lot of people who dont share the moral belief in 'no sex before marriage" will ask whether or not it really matters if you still love that person. Whilst that is a fair point i would be more inclined to argue that someone who cares so passionatly about their faith that they would abstain for so long has a greater connection to me. When you are both virgins, there is no pressure, no inferiority complex, no power conflicts. I really believe it would be fantastic.

Reply 12

shinytoy

OP

18

you cant choose your race.

and i wouldnt marry someone who want the same religion as me either, though i wouldnt judge them - we could be friends

Reply 13

shinytoy

you cant choose your race.

and i wouldnt marry someone who want the same religion as me either, though i wouldnt judge them - we could be friends

you wouldnt judge them... but yet you wouldnt marry them, therefore judging them as not being worthy to marry you?

Reply 14

minimo

xXMessedUpXx

I think if you found someone who so passionately shared your faith and beliefs (and cmon there must be some guy out there who do! :smile:

) then no it's not unrealistic, it just might take a bit more time finding him that's all

I am friends with a whole load of Catholic guys (being catholic myself) and, whilst I don't know the details of their sex lives (or lack thereof :p:

) all are firm believers in no-pre marital sex, so as xXMessedUpXx said you should have no problem. :smile:

Reply 15

minimo

shinytoy

yes i think so too. i dont even care if the guy is crap in bed, or scared sh*tless like i will be because we have so many years to practise together, it can only get better. i want it to be intimate and special. and i know the sex wil be good because neither of us will know any different. especially after 25 or so years of waiting - all sex is good sex :wink:

but the thing is, mostmuslinms/RC/Christian guysdont share the belife of no sex before nmarriage - they just ignore that part and live a religious yet studly life.

and the older i get , the fewer virgin guys my age - the less likely i can maarry one

Come to Cambridge dahlin'

Reply 16

yusufu

16

shinytoy

but the thing is, most muslinms/RC/Christian guys dont share the belife of no sex before nmarriage - they just ignore that part and live a religious yet studly life.

quite a sweeping statement there.

i dont think its unrealistic of you to want to marry a virgin though. :smile:

Reply 17

xXMessedUpXx

See ShinyToy, you'll be ok, i mean there's BirchyGreen who's just one of many guys, and i bet there are probably more on TSR alone! :smile:

Reply 18

flora

7

Reue

you wouldnt judge them... but yet you wouldnt marry them, therefore judging them as not being worthy to marry you?

That's unfair- if religion is such a big aspect of your life as it clearly is for shinytoy, you're likely to have much more in common with someone of the same religion, and fundamentally disagree with people from other religions on some key points- might make a relationship difficult. Plus religious practices and traditions can be a huge part of family life if you're a devout follower- could cause a lot of conflict.

Reply 19