What's it like growing up rich?
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Original post by HariboMunch
Some kids on TSR sound really wealthy, not like poor me!
Makes me wonder, what's it like growing up rich? Is it as cool as everyone assumes? I know some students even at school get their own cars and things like that, but I've read about students with trust funds, properties bought for them, horses, all expenses met. Is that as marvellous as it sounds?
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?
Makes me wonder, what's it like growing up rich? Is it as cool as everyone assumes? I know some students even at school get their own cars and things like that, but I've read about students with trust funds, properties bought for them, horses, all expenses met. Is that as marvellous as it sounds?
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?
I have been quite lucky to have quite well off parents and I know people coming from the whole range of backgrounds. The fact is that the ability of humans to 'get used to it' is quite thorough. For example I know someone who thinks I am incredibly wasteful because I'm not very conservative with shampoo, I also know someone who takes it for granted that they own horses and live very well, they often post about their horses on facebook and have attitudes towards spending that are liberal to say the least. Fact is that as a race we excel at habitualisation, we are very good at learning to ignore things and get used to things. Like when I first moved to London I could barely sleep for the noise, and now I'm recently back in the countryside everything is just too quiet. and i was only away for less than a year!
Original post by Fires
I've known quite a few rich kids, through working as a concierge/butler for a super-posh hotel chain. I've spent time with them, had extended conversations over days and got to know some moderately well.
My general opinion is that it isn't quite "as cool as everyone assumes" in many cases. The reasons vary, but I would say quite a few families with money, ranging from wealthy to very wealthy, are fairly screwed up. I don't know why that happens exactly, but it does seem to follow. One of the issues is that wealthy parents are often hyper-driven success types. (less so with the Old Money families, but still there to some extent.) So they have often had much less time for their children growing up than other families sometimes do. I am always surprised how emotionally deprived many wealthy kids are. I think it almost goes with the turf. There's a real need for attention and love.
The classic story is that rich families substitute material well-being for affection and I think that is often true.
Do they know what life is like for the rest of us? On the whole, I would have to say not. Most children like that have existed in a bubble of privilege; they meet only other kids like themselves at elite private schools; they don't meet poorer people much. Even in private schools that have bursary students, they are often from middle-class homes. Exposure to the lives of the toiling masses is pretty much a no-no. Many wealthy parents and grandparents want it that way, they are fearful of the contact.
My general opinion is that it isn't quite "as cool as everyone assumes" in many cases. The reasons vary, but I would say quite a few families with money, ranging from wealthy to very wealthy, are fairly screwed up. I don't know why that happens exactly, but it does seem to follow. One of the issues is that wealthy parents are often hyper-driven success types. (less so with the Old Money families, but still there to some extent.) So they have often had much less time for their children growing up than other families sometimes do. I am always surprised how emotionally deprived many wealthy kids are. I think it almost goes with the turf. There's a real need for attention and love.
The classic story is that rich families substitute material well-being for affection and I think that is often true.
Do they know what life is like for the rest of us? On the whole, I would have to say not. Most children like that have existed in a bubble of privilege; they meet only other kids like themselves at elite private schools; they don't meet poorer people much. Even in private schools that have bursary students, they are often from middle-class homes. Exposure to the lives of the toiling masses is pretty much a no-no. Many wealthy parents and grandparents want it that way, they are fearful of the contact.
I agree with this. I have come across a few rich people because I went to a school in a 'posh area' and couldn't believe some of the stories I was hearing, however I remember I went to one of their houses and they're mum was just messed up. Like that mum out of mean girls, it was crazy. I think you often find the father isn't around a lot because he's off enjoying his boat/golf/leisure trips away too.
it's not that exiciting
you get bored just playing around with samey stuff
'Made in Chelsea' is a good example; you have to make nothing into
something constantly because it is just soo easily available
e.g. holidays just become boring and the thrill of things just go after a while.....
you get bored just playing around with samey stuff
'Made in Chelsea' is a good example; you have to make nothing into
something constantly because it is just soo easily available
e.g. holidays just become boring and the thrill of things just go after a while.....
It's just the same as everyone else its the way you act about it tbh, its just like a normal life , I guess it makes me become a stronger person because my parents have a strong work ethic so it inspires me and my sister.
However you get the jealous people out there such as when I passed my driving test I got a car that wouldn't normally be bought as a first car, and got alot of bother from it. The presents from christmas aswell the comments are 'spoilt' so its really about the way you act about it I just ignore it..
The thing I hate most is the minority of other family's that brag about it, it's not fair as its a misleading judgement and generally makes rich people look like snobs..
However you get the jealous people out there such as when I passed my driving test I got a car that wouldn't normally be bought as a first car, and got alot of bother from it. The presents from christmas aswell the comments are 'spoilt' so its really about the way you act about it I just ignore it..
The thing I hate most is the minority of other family's that brag about it, it's not fair as its a misleading judgement and generally makes rich people look like snobs..
Original post by laurentommo
It's just the same as everyone else its the way you act about it tbh, its just like a normal life , I guess it makes me become a stronger person because my parents have a strong work ethic so it inspires me and my sister.
However you get the jealous people out there such as when I passed my driving test I got a car that wouldn't normally be bought as a first car, and got alot of bother from it. The presents from christmas aswell the comments are 'spoilt' so its really about the way you act about it I just ignore it..
The thing I hate most is the minority of other family's that brag about it, it's not fair as its a misleading judgement and generally makes rich people look like snobs..
However you get the jealous people out there such as when I passed my driving test I got a car that wouldn't normally be bought as a first car, and got alot of bother from it. The presents from christmas aswell the comments are 'spoilt' so its really about the way you act about it I just ignore it..
The thing I hate most is the minority of other family's that brag about it, it's not fair as its a misleading judgement and generally makes rich people look like snobs..
We will all be wondering what the car was now.
Mine was a new Mini.
Original post by Add!ction
Just be grateful that you're even getting a car.
Bitter much?
Original post by Add!ction
Just be grateful that you're even getting a car.
You can buy a dodgy second hand car for under £200 - it certainly doesn't require "wealthy parents" and nor does it deem the level of resentment implied in your post.
Original post by Penbole
My family is considered to be rich because we live in a big house and have 4 cars even though there are only 2 drivers and two holiday homes. But I personally have no spare cash available so my friends are confused when I can't go out because I have no money, as most of my familly's money is tied up in mortgages. My parents to give me any loads of money like most people think they would, I buy my clothes at Tesco and work in cafe to make money for myself.
Interesting. I wonder if that's true though? I strongly suspect you're like me - you have a very comfortable home life, but you've been brought up around your parents always saying they don't have much money, so you don't have much perspective on it. I buy my clothes in supermarkets too, never had much of an allowance, and I've had several jobs, but it would be a lie to say I've ever wanted for money.
I'm not getting at you (I'd be insulting myself too if that was the case), but I'd be interested to see if I'm right
Original post by HariboMunch
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?
Equally (see above), I suspect your home life probably isn't that bad. I apologise if I'm wrong, it's just the sense I get from the post - it sounds a lot like the many kids who will automatically say you have a silver spoon up your backside because you went to a private school, when they went to a perfectly good school, have Sky TV at home and have a perfectly happy life.
Again though, I apologise profusely if I'm wrong
Original post by WNB
Thats why i'll NEVER consider Oxbridge!
Seriously? Your loss.
Original post by 08rbut
How do you address her?
"Hello".
Original post by insignificant
I agree with this. I have come across a few rich people because I went to a school in a 'posh area' and couldn't believe some of the stories I was hearing, however I remember I went to one of their houses and they're mum was just messed up. Like that mum out of mean girls, it was crazy. I think you often find the father isn't around a lot because he's off enjoying his boat/golf/leisure trips away too.
Yes, I don't want to oversell it, because there are also some really nice, well-adjusted, caring and intelligent people from wealthy backgrounds who use their advantages well - I was more just reflecting on what I'd noticed amongst kids from really rich backgrounds, or from the CEO/banker/business owner type families where the parents tend to be complete workaholics. I have to say also that I often felt that the children of rich families were in conflict with the parents and grandparents over how to act, live, etc - some of the older people, like grandparents, of upper crust, old money families can be pretty nasty in my opinion and their grandchildren are trying to figure out how to have a more human life.
I do think wealth matters and makes quite a profound difference to every aspect of how someone views the world and behaves though. If you are 18 and you have never experienced any shortage, you have a trustfund income and an easy future materially, you are going to have a very, very different outlook than someone like me, who has had to work at all times for scraps. It affects judgement, political views, friendships, family relations and how you spend your time and the way you treat other people.
The main difference I have observed is confidence, which seems to go hand in hand with a globe-trotting mentality (among other factors).
Social mores seem to vary wildly; though their lack of exposure to the masses usually results in faux-pas, they mean well. Any snobbishness or social conservatism is rarely intentional. You can't fault them for this, why should they/their families mix with poor people in some kind of reverse snobbery thing?
There is nothing wrong with being rich as long as you have broad enough self-awareness to use the money for something worthwhile. If it's a spoilt girl spunking thousands of pounds on dresses or fancy handbags every week I have no respect whatsoever.
I also don't begrudge the fact they don't have to work - as long as they use that time to build something worthwhile, whether for themselves or for other people. Financial freedom is a privilege and with great power comes great responsibility.
Social mores seem to vary wildly; though their lack of exposure to the masses usually results in faux-pas, they mean well. Any snobbishness or social conservatism is rarely intentional. You can't fault them for this, why should they/their families mix with poor people in some kind of reverse snobbery thing?
There is nothing wrong with being rich as long as you have broad enough self-awareness to use the money for something worthwhile. If it's a spoilt girl spunking thousands of pounds on dresses or fancy handbags every week I have no respect whatsoever.
I also don't begrudge the fact they don't have to work - as long as they use that time to build something worthwhile, whether for themselves or for other people. Financial freedom is a privilege and with great power comes great responsibility.
Original post by HariboMunch
Some kids on TSR sound really wealthy, not like poor me!
Makes me wonder, what's it like growing up rich? Is it as cool as everyone assumes? I know some students even at school get their own cars and things like that, but I've read about students with trust funds, properties bought for them, horses, all expenses met. Is that as marvellous as it sounds?
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?
Makes me wonder, what's it like growing up rich? Is it as cool as everyone assumes? I know some students even at school get their own cars and things like that, but I've read about students with trust funds, properties bought for them, horses, all expenses met. Is that as marvellous as it sounds?
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?
I guess you're from a POOR family then :P! I have never been from a rich family, but I imagine that it's not really that great. If you're given money or things for many years of your life, then you won't have tried to save up the hard way. Therefore, fighting for yourself would be alien.
I went to a top private school, have "rich" friends, was raised in a large prosperous home with a well-off extended family and have inherited a large amount. I would always hope to not lose contact with reality and I don't live it up with ridiculous bag (or chocolate reptile) purchases, but obviously I do have many comforts and a standard of living that others don't. I don't know if I'm out of touch, probably I am, but in good ways, it's not that great to be understanding of poor people's lives (or even average people's lives) if it means being poor yourself, to put it bluntly.
When I have children, as I hope to, they will be privileged almost inevitably. I will try to educate them to use that well, to enjoy their advantages and to have a good attitude to people with less and to not assume they are better or smarter just as a result of family wealth. I won't be pointlessly harsh to them - I often think those families who are loaded but treat their kids harshly to "teach them" are bordering on cruel - they will have every comfort and be looked after to high standards. I would finance them to have the best education possible and to (within limits) have a good life and be well set up into their 20s.
When I have children, as I hope to, they will be privileged almost inevitably. I will try to educate them to use that well, to enjoy their advantages and to have a good attitude to people with less and to not assume they are better or smarter just as a result of family wealth. I won't be pointlessly harsh to them - I often think those families who are loaded but treat their kids harshly to "teach them" are bordering on cruel - they will have every comfort and be looked after to high standards. I would finance them to have the best education possible and to (within limits) have a good life and be well set up into their 20s.
Que the negs...
It's not quite as dandy as it seems. I'm under no illusion that I have a very privileged upbringing, thus, I have no problems in replying to the question.
I have a very old fashioned aristocratic family, I won't get in to specifics specifics but I grew up in (and still live in) our family seat which in Hampshire. I spent a lot of my time with my nanny (as in, housekeeper) when I was younger, my father didn't believe that it was his role to look after me, and my mother worked as a barrister and travelled a lot, so as a result I spent a lot of my time with the 'staff' and not my parents (until my siblings were born). When I was 6 I was shipped off to board at public school and have been a boarding school all of my life. Of course I am very thankful for having a wealthy upbringing and I am in no way saying that I have a tough life, but unfortunately having money doesn't give you a close knit family. When you have a chef who cooks every meal, you don't quite get that "mum, what's for dinner?" sort of home life that lots of my friends do.
But I guess I had that because my family are aristocratic so it was all very old fashioned. Of course it was great having all the best toys and clothes and things, and it is very comforting to know that I will have pretty secure future with regards to finances, but being born into money means that you don't realise anything different. Until I was 12 I honestly thought that everybody went on holiday every half term, and (even worse) until I was 17 I thought that every family had an accountant, like a GP.
It's not quite as dandy as it seems. I'm under no illusion that I have a very privileged upbringing, thus, I have no problems in replying to the question.
I have a very old fashioned aristocratic family, I won't get in to specifics specifics but I grew up in (and still live in) our family seat which in Hampshire. I spent a lot of my time with my nanny (as in, housekeeper) when I was younger, my father didn't believe that it was his role to look after me, and my mother worked as a barrister and travelled a lot, so as a result I spent a lot of my time with the 'staff' and not my parents (until my siblings were born). When I was 6 I was shipped off to board at public school and have been a boarding school all of my life. Of course I am very thankful for having a wealthy upbringing and I am in no way saying that I have a tough life, but unfortunately having money doesn't give you a close knit family. When you have a chef who cooks every meal, you don't quite get that "mum, what's for dinner?" sort of home life that lots of my friends do.
But I guess I had that because my family are aristocratic so it was all very old fashioned. Of course it was great having all the best toys and clothes and things, and it is very comforting to know that I will have pretty secure future with regards to finances, but being born into money means that you don't realise anything different. Until I was 12 I honestly thought that everybody went on holiday every half term, and (even worse) until I was 17 I thought that every family had an accountant, like a GP.
Original post by HariboMunch
Some kids on TSR sound really wealthy, not like poor me!
Makes me wonder, what's it like growing up rich? Is it as cool as everyone assumes? I know some students even at school get their own cars and things like that, but I've read about students with trust funds, properties bought for them, horses, all expenses met. Is that as marvellous as it sounds?
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?
Makes me wonder, what's it like growing up rich? Is it as cool as everyone assumes? I know some students even at school get their own cars and things like that, but I've read about students with trust funds, properties bought for them, horses, all expenses met. Is that as marvellous as it sounds?
Do students like that understand anything at all about how most of us are living?
One of my best friends is from the richest family in our county. Their grandparents are of peerage, and they own this beautiful big manor house. Nonetheless he and his sister are too of the most unspoilt people I've ever met! They don't get the new gadgets or phones. They've never been to the maldives or dubai or anywhere like that. They have to help around the house as most kids do. They are made to work in the weekends and the summer holidays. Up until he was 16 the only money my friend got was £10 a week for mucking out the stables, and after then he had to fend for himself. They don't have the most designer clothes, and I know for a fact that most of his clothes are from places like H & M. They were never allowed TVs in their bedrooms or xboxs or anything like that. Their parents are very strict on their education and make them do a certain amount of work per evening. The only privilege I'd say that they do have is that they go skiing quite often, and that they're privately educated. Really, I'd say that their lives aren't all what the magazines make out rich kids lives to be. They are very down to earth, incredibly polite and well mannered, and they get on with people from all walks of life. It isn't their fault that they come from a wealthy family and their parents have raised them well to respect people from all different backgrounds. If anything their life is probably less easy than those poorer than them, as they have the double whammy of all the pressure to do well, and prejudice from people who only see them as "posh kids."
I'm not saying all rich kids are like this. I know people on the other side of the spectrum who are spoilt little brats, and get all the new things, and look down their nose at you etc. However, I don't think we should tarnish them all with the same brush. Some rich kids don't have the "glamorous" life that people think they lead!
Original post by zara55
We will all be wondering what the car was now. Mine was a new Mini.
Mine was a new Mini.Mini one new.
Lol I knew i'd get pointless negatives (again)
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by YahRah
Que the negs...
It's not quite as dandy as it seems. I'm under no illusion that I have a very privileged upbringing, thus, I have no problems in replying to the question.
I have a very old fashioned aristocratic family, I won't get in to specifics specifics but I grew up in (and still live in) our family seat which in Hampshire. I spent a lot of my time with my nanny (as in, housekeeper) when I was younger, my father didn't believe that it was his role to look after me, and my mother worked as a barrister and travelled a lot, so as a result I spent a lot of my time with the 'staff' and not my parents (until my siblings were born). When I was 6 I was shipped off to board at public school and have been a boarding school all of my life. Of course I am very thankful for having a wealthy upbringing and I am in no way saying that I have a tough life, but unfortunately having money doesn't give you a close knit family. When you have a chef who cooks every meal, you don't quite get that "mum, what's for dinner?" sort of home life that lots of my friends do.
But I guess I had that because my family are aristocratic so it was all very old fashioned. Of course it was great having all the best toys and clothes and things, and it is very comforting to know that I will have pretty secure future with regards to finances, but being born into money means that you don't realise anything different. Until I was 12 I honestly thought that everybody went on holiday every half term, and (even worse) until I was 17 I thought that every family had an accountant, like a GP.
It's not quite as dandy as it seems. I'm under no illusion that I have a very privileged upbringing, thus, I have no problems in replying to the question.
I have a very old fashioned aristocratic family, I won't get in to specifics specifics but I grew up in (and still live in) our family seat which in Hampshire. I spent a lot of my time with my nanny (as in, housekeeper) when I was younger, my father didn't believe that it was his role to look after me, and my mother worked as a barrister and travelled a lot, so as a result I spent a lot of my time with the 'staff' and not my parents (until my siblings were born). When I was 6 I was shipped off to board at public school and have been a boarding school all of my life. Of course I am very thankful for having a wealthy upbringing and I am in no way saying that I have a tough life, but unfortunately having money doesn't give you a close knit family. When you have a chef who cooks every meal, you don't quite get that "mum, what's for dinner?" sort of home life that lots of my friends do.
But I guess I had that because my family are aristocratic so it was all very old fashioned. Of course it was great having all the best toys and clothes and things, and it is very comforting to know that I will have pretty secure future with regards to finances, but being born into money means that you don't realise anything different. Until I was 12 I honestly thought that everybody went on holiday every half term, and (even worse) until I was 17 I thought that every family had an accountant, like a GP.
Holy crap this is hilarious...
Actual aristocracy, how is the old money old bean?
Note : Even most rich people don't live like this.
I assume your father has a title? Its annoying they aren't passed on...
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Platostolemysocks
One of my best friends is from the richest family in our county. Their grandparents are of peerage, and they own this beautiful big manor house. Nonetheless he and his sister are too of the most unspoilt people I've ever met! They don't get the new gadgets or phones. They've never been to the maldives or dubai or anywhere like that. They have to help around the house as most kids do. They are made to work in the weekends and the summer holidays. Up until he was 16 the only money my friend got was £10 a week for mucking out the stables, and after then he had to fend for himself. They don't have the most designer clothes, and I know for a fact that most of his clothes are from places like H & M. They were never allowed TVs in their bedrooms or xboxs or anything like that. Their parents are very strict on their education and make them do a certain amount of work per evening. The only privilege I'd say that they do have is that they go skiing quite often, and that they're privately educated. Really, I'd say that their lives aren't all what the magazines make out rich kids lives to be. They are very down to earth, incredibly polite and well mannered, and they get on with people from all walks of life. It isn't their fault that they come from a wealthy family and their parents have raised them well to respect people from all different backgrounds. If anything their life is probably less easy than those poorer than them, as they have the double whammy of all the pressure to do well, and prejudice from people who only see them as "posh kids."
I'm not saying all rich kids are like this. I know people on the other side of the spectrum who are spoilt little brats, and get all the new things, and look down their nose at you etc. However, I don't think we should tarnish them all with the same brush. Some rich kids don't have the "glamorous" life that people think they lead!
I'm not saying all rich kids are like this. I know people on the other side of the spectrum who are spoilt little brats, and get all the new things, and look down their nose at you etc. However, I don't think we should tarnish them all with the same brush. Some rich kids don't have the "glamorous" life that people think they lead!
I enjoyed reading this, they sound sweet.
I always think there's a difference between "privileged by advantage" and "spoilt by upbringing", you can have lots of the former and not be particularly spoilt but there are plenty of spoilt kids out there from much lower down the social spectrum than your friend. Obviously the crucial difference is parenting and family attitudes about work and money.
Original post by Ocassus
Holy crap this is hilarious...
Actual aristocracy, how is the old money old bean?
Note : Even most rich people don't live like this.
Actual aristocracy, how is the old money old bean?
Note : Even most rich people don't live like this.
Regrettably so, daddy is a Viscount. People tend to jump to conclusions about me being a pompus titled ****.
I would have to disagree, most 'rich' people are generally more frivolous with their money, everything we have tends to be inherited or rather conservative. If my father had his way we would still be living in the 1920s, it is only because of my mother that we buy things.
Edit: Oh it is passed on, because I'm the eldest son I will get the Viscount. At the moment we are all 'The Hon.' which he insists we use on a daily basis.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by YahRah
Regrettably so, daddy is a Viscount. People tend to jump to conclusions about me being a pompus titled ****.
I would think it'd be rather bad ass to be called 'Lord' personally... Its not something to be ashamed of.
I would have to disagree, most 'rich' people are generally more frivolous with their money, everything we have tends to be inherited or rather conservative. If my father had his way we would still be living in the 1920s, it is only because of my mother that we buy things.
Well no, we aren't. Old money is always rather Conservative, you buy what you think can last. There is quite a bit of aristocracy left out here in Devon and they drive around in very nice but very well worn landrovers, simply because they last. I think it is most odd personally that they choose to keep to this style. New money is much more... dynamic and fun. Living in a stuffy old mansion as opposed to a smaller but much newer, sleeker house in some trendy part of town just doesn't sound like fun to me...
Edit : Also, please, don't use 'Daddy'. It really conforms to this stereotype of rich kids relying on parents or being overly immature for their age. Its cringeworthy. Thanks for the neg btw.
My family is sort of a "closet rich" family. My dad earns very good money but he prefers to save it. For example, instead of buying flashy cars and going on holiday every year, he's set aside enough money for us three kids to have uni maintenance paid for over our 3 years at uni each. So we have to take out student loans for the course fees but he'll be paying for our accommodation/food/books etc. so we won't have to take out as big a student loan as everyone else I know.
We do live in a detached 6-bedroom house (which coincidently has a pool as well but the garden isn't huge and we only got the house because of a 20% price reduction in times of the credit crunch when we were moving back into the country so were EXTREMELY fortunate) and 2 cars but I've never been allowed to have driving lessons or own my own car or anything like that. My dad is so tight on money we don't even really have central heating in our house (we're just told to put on extra layers to keep warm). Which is a bad thing for me because I even have a condition where the cold causes chronic bodily pain, but we still don't spend on heating! Nor do we have Sky, instead we have Freeview, and I have a brick phone and stuff, so we don't live a life of "luxury" so to speak in terms of gadgets and holidays (and keeping warm LOL) like lots of my friends do.
So yeah, we're very lucky my dad works hard for his job and that he looks out for us by providing us with such great financial support in the future, but we're by no means flashy or boast about our money or anything, so upto this point in time I'd say growing up hasn't really been very different to most others'.
We do live in a detached 6-bedroom house (which coincidently has a pool as well but the garden isn't huge and we only got the house because of a 20% price reduction in times of the credit crunch when we were moving back into the country so were EXTREMELY fortunate) and 2 cars but I've never been allowed to have driving lessons or own my own car or anything like that. My dad is so tight on money we don't even really have central heating in our house (we're just told to put on extra layers to keep warm). Which is a bad thing for me because I even have a condition where the cold causes chronic bodily pain, but we still don't spend on heating! Nor do we have Sky, instead we have Freeview, and I have a brick phone and stuff, so we don't live a life of "luxury" so to speak in terms of gadgets and holidays (and keeping warm LOL) like lots of my friends do.
So yeah, we're very lucky my dad works hard for his job and that he looks out for us by providing us with such great financial support in the future, but we're by no means flashy or boast about our money or anything, so upto this point in time I'd say growing up hasn't really been very different to most others'.
(edited 11 years ago)
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