Trousers in relationships

So I've just come back from a little outing with my girlfriend. She was taking an exchange student around, who is very much a girly-girl. My girlfriend *really* isn't, and that's one of the reasons I really like her (and the reason I was with her, so that she didn't dispair too quickly!). She *hates* the colour pink, flowers and stuff, is much more comfortable in jeans or trousers than a skirt or whatever, and is really into sports- in fact, she's into football more than I am (I'm more of a rugby kinda guy).

She's such a tomboy, and that makes her really fun to be around, and I wouldn't change that for the world. All her friends make jokes about how she's always the most boy-ish one around, regardless of how many other guys there are around. I'm a different kind of guy to others, I think, I'm the thoughtful, pensive kind. I know that she really likes me (too early in the relationship to say *the* L-word) and she wouldn't change anything about me.

Here's the thing though. We were talking this morning, and she mentioned that two of her friends, who I know quite well, both described her as wearing the trousers in the relationship, whilst I got the skirt. She and I both had the same reaction of, "What?!" and laughed it off, but its playing on my mind. Am I being stupid about this? If anything, I'm the one who's taking the lead in this relationship, only its a bit early to let them know where we are at (and also too personal!).

Thoughts, comments, advice appreciated. Should I just forget this?

Reply 1

blissy

15

I think most women wear the trousers in the relationship :wink:

Reply 2

ciara

13

Don't worry about it. I have a big group of female friends and find they often make incorrect assumptions about my relationships based on my personality - you just have to laugh it off, as you have. For example, I'm really quite bossy and cynical and a bit of a feminist I guess (not in a hating men sense), and so they assume that I always have the upper hand in relationships, with the guy chasing after me. They also seem to assume I'm not into romance. What they don't realise is that I get emotionally attached really easily, and when I find the right person will melt into a puddle of happiness.

Girls know their friends well, but when it comes to relationships they often really don't. The whole 'trouser wearing' thing really isn't a good thing anyway, whoever's wearing them - it's unhealthy for 1 person to be the one 'in control'. If it's working for you, then forget any tomboy stereotypes they throw at you and get on with it.

Reply 3

Schmokie Dragon

17

As long as you are happy and you don't feel dominated by your lady, then ignore them. They don't know the ins and outs of the r/ship. They can only make superficial judgements.

Reply 4

sjuthani

OP

6

ciara

The whole 'trouser wearing' thing really isn't a good thing anyway, whoever's wearing them - it's unhealthy for 1 person to be the one 'in control'.

So basically ignore it, and resist the temptation to lord it over her?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I appreciate that you admire this girl because she's fun to be with and is into similar things to you instead of feeling she has to be into fluffy stuff cos she's a girl. However, I also think it's unhealthy for girls to be too assertive in a relationship, or too tomboyish in her appearance.

Maybe to some extent the thing about 'wearing the trousers' is both literal and metaphorical? Perhaps if you could get her to ditch the jeans and stick to wearing skirts and trousers she would let you take the lead a bit more and friends wouldn't think badly of you?

Reply 6

andy_c

7

There are only two people who knows what really goes on in any relationship. If you're happy, then forget about everyone else!

Reply 7

sebbie

15

as long as you're ok its fine.... however dont allow yourself to become dominated by your girlfriend as it will really piss your mates off.... (2 of my mates have completely changed since they've started going out with respective girlfriends to the point where it's like watching a puppy run after its master....) in general, obviously make time for your girlfriend but dont go for her at the expense of your mates....

Reply 8

El Scotto

15

sjuthani

So I've just come back from a little outing with my girlfriend. She was taking an exchange student around, who is very much a girly-girl. My girlfriend *really* isn't, and that's one of the reasons I really like her (and the reason I was with her, so that she didn't dispair too quickly!). She *hates* the colour pink, flowers and stuff, is much more comfortable in jeans or trousers than a skirt or whatever, and is really into sports- in fact, she's into football more than I am (I'm more of a rugby kinda guy).

She's such a tomboy, and that makes her really fun to be around, and I wouldn't change that for the world. All her friends make jokes about how she's always the most boy-ish one around, regardless of how many other guys there are around. I'm a different kind of guy to others, I think, I'm the thoughtful, pensive kind. I know that she really likes me (too early in the relationship to say *the* L-word) and she wouldn't change anything about me.

Here's the thing though. We were talking this morning, and she mentioned that two of her friends, who I know quite well, both described her as wearing the trousers in the relationship, whilst I got the skirt. She and I both had the same reaction of, "What?!" and laughed it off, but its playing on my mind. Am I being stupid about this? If anything, I'm the one who's taking the lead in this relationship, only its a bit early to let them know where we are at (and also too personal!).

Thoughts, comments, advice appreciated. Should I just forget this?