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My boyfriend is feeling down :(

He's been really down lately about everything. He thinks he most probably hasn't gotten into the uni he wanted to go to, is hating college and his job, and is feeling the pressure in our relationship. We have a LDR. We see each other every few weeks, and when we do, things are so great and we are so happy. But when I'm not there, he really struggles. He's 21 and thinks he hasn't achieved anything in life and is worried about not being able to give me the life I want. (We've talked about our future a lot. I never put any pressure on him and he says it's not anything I do, but just his up-bringing and way of thinking that makes him this way.)

We're not going to be able to be together properly for another 2 years at least. A lot of friends are telling him basically 'What's the point? You're not going to be together for a long time, you're from different countries, you won't understand each other properly, you will have to make so many sacrifices for her' etc etc, and it's very difficult for him.

Anyway, the point of this thread is to ask you for some advice on what I could do to cheer him up.

I try to talk to him as much as I can but it's a bit difficult due to our schedules..I'm writing him a letter now..I can't really surprise-visit him because he has a busy schedule and I can't really afford to do that very much...I try to do as much as I can to cheer him up whilst I'm there (and we always have a great time), but it's difficult to do the same when we're not together

Any ideas?

Reply 1

*Kates*

I you have such a great time when you are together, why give all that up just because you might have to wait a couple of years until you can move in together? Some people who see each other everyday don't enjoy their time together as much as you two seem to do. I know at the moment your situation isn't ideal, but if you both get on so well and really care about each other, there is no point in throwing that away. And what do your friends know? their not the ones in the relationship.. you are.

Reply 2

Anything

guess all you can do is let him know your thinking do you talk everyday? send him little gifts etc that mean somthing to the both of you

Reply 3

Snowfall

OP

10

katie lou

I you have such a great time when you are together, why give all that up just because you might have to wait a couple of years until you can move in together? Some people who see each other everyday don't enjoy their time together as much as you two seem to do. I know at the moment your situation isn't ideal, but if you both get on so well and really care about each other, there is no point in throwing that away. And what do your friends know? their not the ones in the relationship.. you are.

Luckily, there is no talk of throwing it away! I just want to think of some ways to make him feel less crappy about life when I'm not there (haha that makes me sound a bit..big headed but you know what I mean).

I know..we do always say that one of the reasons that we're able to have such a good time when we get to see each other is because we don't see each other all the time, so it's special every time. And yeah, I really do think *******s to his friends. Most of them haven't even met me/spoken to me enough to know me or anything about our relationship.

Reply 4

Snowfall

OP

10

Anything

guess all you can do is let him know your thinking do you talk everyday? send him little gifts etc that mean somthing to the both of you

We don't get the chance to talk every day, but I do always text him every day. Sending him little gifts that m ean something is a good idea. Thanks! :smile:

I'm thinking of sending him a little something to go with the letter I'm writing

Reply 5

warranty-ideal

12

....sex? Or is that too obvious?

Reply 6

xavier2k3

1

All i can suggest is to just be there as much as you can for him. You can only do so much for somebody.

regards
--marty

Reply 7

andy_c

7

Just keep the lines of communication open, talk to him as much as possible, let him know you are there for him.

Re the daily text messages, don't just say hi, send some of those romantic chain type text messages

Reply 8

Snowfall

OP

10

Thanks guys. Been having a think and I want something that he can have with him that reminds him of me. Like he used to have a coin that I gave him (random, no particular reason) and he kept it like something special. It was so cute! That was quite a while ago and it got lost so I want something to replace that! Oh and i thought I might get one of those split heart key rings for his house key because he doesn't have a keyring for it and tends misplace it!

Reply 9

Snowfall

OP

10

fragreaper

....sex? Or is that too obvious?

Not really something I can do when he's 3 hours away! Don't worry, he gets plenty of that when I'm there :wink:

Reply 10

andyroo

Snowfall

He's 21 and thinks he hasn't achieved anything in life

I think for a start, he is only 21..... he still has his life left to achieve what he wants... think of ways to make him laugh, and see the lighter side of life

Reply 11

Snowfall

OP

10

andyroo

I think for a start, he is only 21..... he still has his life left to achieve what he wants... think of ways to make him laugh, and see the lighter side of life

Yeah I know..I keep trying to tell him this but he compares himself to his friends, with my brother (just turned 23 and has good job), and he thinks that he's been wasting time because he could've finished uni by now.

I will try to make him laugh more on the phone and stuff. That is another good idea. although i'm not much of a comedienne :redface:

worth a try though eh :smile:

Thanks

Reply 12

silverbolt

19

blow job

sounds crude but its really a great ego boost

Reply 13

andyroo

certainly worth a try! im 24 and still at uni! lol... just another thought, watching a "feel good" kind of film, or perhaps making him a cd of "happy" songs (what ever ones you know/think will make him feel happy) could also be a good idea!

My boyfriend is feeling down :(

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