The Student Room Group

Casual sex

I was just wondering when it became the norm to have casual sex and one night stands? I was out with a friend last night who has a boyfriend and she ended up sleeping with some other random guy she met. I was the only one who found this tacky, slutty and just wrong, the rest of my friends seemed to find this perfectly normal. Even if she hadn't had a boyfriend, it just seems really desperate to sleep with someone you just met. I felt embarrassed for her. The worst thing is she bragged about it to me this morning as if she was really special to find someone to 'hook up with'. She asked me if I had and when I said no she seemed to feel sorry for me or something??! As if I couldn't find anyone. I have had literally a million chances to have a one night stand, including last night but never even considered saying yes. I just feel like its a lack of self respect, giving your body to some randomer. I would feel really cheap, but it seems like everyone is doing it. It appears to be the standard way to begin a relationship, which goes against everything I ever believed (date someone for a month or two and *then* sex). Am I being unrealistic and old fashioned for thinking I can meet someone who won't expect sex the first night?

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Reply 1
Its a northern thing...
Reply 2
I kind of agree with u BUT...

Anonymous
I have had literally a million chances to have a one night stand


really?
I believe it was when all moral fibre of society decayed into oblivion.. Didn't you get the memo?

In all seriousness, It sounds like your group of friends.. some people don't view sex the same as others. To each their own.
Reply 4
Some people like to have casual sex and some don't. Neither is the 'right' way of being, it's all a matter of personal opinion and choice.
Reply 5
wait until you are married. like me. sex isnt love. love yourself and others will love you
Reply 6
since the 80's.
Reply 7
Anonymous
I was out with a friend last night who has a boyfriend and she ended up sleeping with some other random guy she met.


Yes, your friend sounds like a slut.
Reply 8
shinytoy
wait until you are married. like me. sex isnt love. love yourself and others will love you


What if you never get married?...
Reply 9
For once, shinytoy has said a fragment of something sensible: "sex isn't love". Quite right. The association is something that people choose to make when they feel it's appropriate. Clearly people have boyfriends/girlfriends so that they can enjoy both. Casual sex, on the other hand, is just for sex - fun for its own sake, all those invloved are marginally happier for it and then move on with whatever.
shinytoy
wait until you are married. like me. sex isnt love. love yourself and others will love you


Like a broken record...
Reply 11
only say the word and it shall be healed
..please?
Zoecb
Some people like to have casual sex and some don't. Neither is the 'right' way of being, it's all a matter of personal opinion and choice.


No, i'm sorry, it's for reasons like this that casual sex as outlined above is considered 'acceptable'. Does no one have the moral backbone to say something is wrong anymore?

If you have a boyfriend and you cheat on him, that is wrong. If you think he is happy with it, he is not your boyfriend, he is a <sex> buddy who has been going slightly longer than the rest. Just because they think it acceptable doesn't make it so.
Reply 14
Indus1986
Its a northern thing...



You truly are an idiot.
shinytoy
wait until you are married. like me. sex isnt love. love yourself and others will love you


Newsflash! Not everyone envisages getting married! To many it is merely a piece of paper, and meaningless for it. If you come from a quote unquote "broken home", and have seen 1st hand evidence of a marriage breakdown, you might be a bit wary of tying yourself down to someone in such a way. It isn't the be all end all- nowadays being in a committed, loving relationship is enough for some people.
johnnysgirl
Newsflash! Not everyone envisages getting married! To many it is merely a piece of paper, and meaningless for it. If you come from a quote unquote "broken home", and have seen 1st hand evidence of a marriage breakdown, you might be a bit wary of tying yourself down to someone in such a way. It isn't the be all end all- nowadays being in a committed, loving relationship is enough for some people.


Oh dear, shinytoy's getting a ribbing tonight...
fragreaper
Oh dear, shinytoy's getting a ribbing tonight...


Hehe...sorry...got on my soap box there didn't I?! Just speaking from personal experience. I'd have to be damned sure about someone before I married them..as long as I'm happy with them I don't care if the law recognised it or not! I'll bugger off now and stop picking on people..whoops. x
Reply 18
since the 60's, and thats pretty unusual, or from who i know. casual sex is okay i guess, but not if you are in a relationship. maybe you should get some new friends.
Reply 19

No, i'm sorry, it's for reasons like this that casual sex as outlined above is considered 'acceptable'. Does no one have the moral backbone to say something is wrong anymore?

Unless you only believe in sex for purely reproductional purposes, then you have no basis to comment on it being wrong...