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Coping with Boyfriend/Loved One Deployed in Army, Suggestions?
My boyfriend is in the army and he's been deployed for 3months in Afghanistan. I am incredibly proud of him, he was back for 2weeks R&R and the first 3months I did ok dealing with him being gone, I sent letters and parcels and silly little gifts and emails and he was able to phone once a week.
But now I'm finding it a lot harder, I was wandering if there were any other army girlfriends or boyfriends out there and how you deal with them being away?
But now I'm finding it a lot harder, I was wandering if there were any other army girlfriends or boyfriends out there and how you deal with them being away?
My partner is in the RAF - I've not had to deal with him being away yet (he's on a training course atm) but when he goes it'll be for 4.5 months in one go...so I'm really not looking forward to it (dreading it).
I'm used to LDRs, my last relationship was America-England for 10 weeks, and I've always been LDR with my current partner (but obviously within England) but I guess a lot of the same rules and advice applies and is what I'm planning on doing - keep yourself occupied. You have to keep busy or otherwise you'll just sit and mope and miss them like hell. Don't keep a count down diary, unless you really find it helps you. I find it makes me dwell too much on how long they've been away and how long it is until they're back. Perhaps keep a diary of your life and after a few weeks, send it out to him. I'm sure he'd love to read it - no matter how monotonous and boring you think things sound, I bet he wants to know what you've been up to, so when he's bored and lonely he can imagine you doing all the stuff you do on a day to day basis - curling up in bed, watching telly etc.
Perhaps try and get in touch with other partners of people from his regiment (or whatever), sometimes having a support network of people who really get what you're going through can help, though obviously they're likely to be spread across the country.
I can't even begin to comprehend what it's going to be like when my partner goes out - we're both utterly dreading it. But at the end of the day it comes with the job and it has to be done. They have a hard time out there, but we have a bloody hard job back at home. Your loyalty and love and dedication probably mean more than the world to him and when things feel hard and you miss him dradfully, just give yourself a pat on the back because you deserve it!
I'm used to LDRs, my last relationship was America-England for 10 weeks, and I've always been LDR with my current partner (but obviously within England) but I guess a lot of the same rules and advice applies and is what I'm planning on doing - keep yourself occupied. You have to keep busy or otherwise you'll just sit and mope and miss them like hell. Don't keep a count down diary, unless you really find it helps you. I find it makes me dwell too much on how long they've been away and how long it is until they're back. Perhaps keep a diary of your life and after a few weeks, send it out to him. I'm sure he'd love to read it - no matter how monotonous and boring you think things sound, I bet he wants to know what you've been up to, so when he's bored and lonely he can imagine you doing all the stuff you do on a day to day basis - curling up in bed, watching telly etc.
Perhaps try and get in touch with other partners of people from his regiment (or whatever), sometimes having a support network of people who really get what you're going through can help, though obviously they're likely to be spread across the country.
I can't even begin to comprehend what it's going to be like when my partner goes out - we're both utterly dreading it. But at the end of the day it comes with the job and it has to be done. They have a hard time out there, but we have a bloody hard job back at home. Your loyalty and love and dedication probably mean more than the world to him and when things feel hard and you miss him dradfully, just give yourself a pat on the back because you deserve it!
Thank you so much for the diary suggestion. I will try that, he said that getting letters from friends and family mean so much it's insane how important it becomes, it completely gets them through their tour.
It is so hard, especially when you hear news reports and at nighttimes, missing cuddles sucks!
When does your boyfriend leave do you know dates yet?
It's tough but it's all worth it when they're back
It is so hard, especially when you hear news reports and at nighttimes, missing cuddles sucks!
When does your boyfriend leave do you know dates yet?
It's tough but it's all worth it when they're back
Glad I could help 
Thankfully I've got my partner around until he finishes his course in December. Once he's assigned a squadron we'll be able to work out roughly when he goes on tour. He's been to Afghan once before, but it was before we got together. I just worry because I'm rubbish when I haven't seen him for a week or so and I've spoken to him every day, so 4.5 months with limited contact..ugh.
How long do you have left? I'm sure the time will fly, even if it feels like it's dragging. He'll be back with you before you know it! One of my friends has a partner also in the RAF and she said the hardest is the week they spent in Cyprus for R&R. They're so close to home and you know they're just chilling out on the beach (totally deserved) but you just want them home!
Thankfully I've got my partner around until he finishes his course in December. Once he's assigned a squadron we'll be able to work out roughly when he goes on tour. He's been to Afghan once before, but it was before we got together. I just worry because I'm rubbish when I haven't seen him for a week or so and I've spoken to him every day, so 4.5 months with limited contact..ugh. How long do you have left? I'm sure the time will fly, even if it feels like it's dragging. He'll be back with you before you know it! One of my friends has a partner also in the RAF and she said the hardest is the week they spent in Cyprus for R&R. They're so close to home and you know they're just chilling out on the beach (totally deserved) but you just want them home!
14weeks left!
Yea it's gonna be tough thinking that he's so close to England but to be honest I'll just be happy that he's out of the kind of danger
I can't wait for him to come back, but I don't have any friends who are in a similar situation but we have loads of very very close mutual friends who are brilliant about being supportive and writing to him and stuff
It is so tough when days and days pass by and you've not heard I find it hard to keep calm and rational and keep saying to myself "it's ok he's probably just had a super busy day and is shattered and asleep, he's fine"
that's good you two have a fair of time together before he goes
Yea it's gonna be tough thinking that he's so close to England but to be honest I'll just be happy that he's out of the kind of danger
I can't wait for him to come back, but I don't have any friends who are in a similar situation but we have loads of very very close mutual friends who are brilliant about being supportive and writing to him and stuff
It is so tough when days and days pass by and you've not heard I find it hard to keep calm and rational and keep saying to myself "it's ok he's probably just had a super busy day and is shattered and asleep, he's fine"
that's good you two have a fair of time together before he goes
Original post by HairsprayQueen
14weeks left!
Yea it's gonna be tough thinking that he's so close to England but to be honest I'll just be happy that he's out of the kind of danger
I can't wait for him to come back, but I don't have any friends who are in a similar situation but we have loads of very very close mutual friends who are brilliant about being supportive and writing to him and stuff
It is so tough when days and days pass by and you've not heard I find it hard to keep calm and rational and keep saying to myself "it's ok he's probably just had a super busy day and is shattered and asleep, he's fine"
that's good you two have a fair of time together before he goes
Yea it's gonna be tough thinking that he's so close to England but to be honest I'll just be happy that he's out of the kind of danger
I can't wait for him to come back, but I don't have any friends who are in a similar situation but we have loads of very very close mutual friends who are brilliant about being supportive and writing to him and stuff
It is so tough when days and days pass by and you've not heard I find it hard to keep calm and rational and keep saying to myself "it's ok he's probably just had a super busy day and is shattered and asleep, he's fine"
that's good you two have a fair of time together before he goes
Sorry for the delayed reply, I've been at work
14 weeks left is a rough ride and no mistake, but I bet it'll actually fly by even if the individual days seem to drag.
Having supportive friends is a major bonus I think. I've got two mates with partners in the armed forces so I've been 'the friend' before and seen what they've gone through...got to do it myself this time! Yeh I'm really lucky having him here until December at least, gives me one less thing to think about at the moment (just worrying about where he's going to be sent base wise, and if we can find affordable housing etc etc....nightmare!)
Anyway, just wanted to say feel free to PM if you ever just want to rant or whatever. Good luck with the next 14 weeks and your partner's safe return. xx
Thank you so much!I don't have any friends who have been in a similar situation although we are both very close to our mutual friends so they are great for support but sometimes I worry I go on about him too much! hehehe I can't help it!
Pretty worried at the moment as he has just said that sometime this month he is going out on the ground and I'm not entirely sure what this means? :/
I am counting down the days til he's back I can't wait, missing cuddles sucks
My boyfriend is in the Royal Marines and is deploying next month to Afghanistan. I am absolutely worried sick and really baffled at how I am going to cope then - especially as I will be at university away from my family. It would be really nice to PM me if you like as I really don't have anyone to talk to about having a loved one deployed. I literally know no one in the same or similar situation and it's horrible!
Wouldn't you girls love to just turn up to an army base where the men haven't had female company in ages and just let them all give you the time of your life 
Original post by Arielle
My boyfriend is in the Royal Marines and is deploying next month to Afghanistan. I am absolutely worried sick and really baffled at how I am going to cope then - especially as I will be at university away from my family. It would be really nice to PM me if you like as I really don't have anyone to talk to about having a loved one deployed. I literally know no one in the same or similar situation and it's horrible!
Hi. My boyfriend is too being deployed to Afghanistan, he leaves in a week. We've tried not seeing each other but it's just not happened. It's awful and is going to be so hard. This will be his third deployment. It would be really nice to hear from you, as were both going to be going through the next six months worried sick!
Original post by Keepsmiling
Hi. My boyfriend is too being deployed to Afghanistan, he leaves in a week. We've tried not seeing each other but it's just not happened. It's awful and is going to be so hard. This will be his third deployment. It would be really nice to hear from you, as were both going to be going through the next six months worried sick!
Hey, I sent you a message with my Facebook and stuff if you want to talk. It would be nice as we are going through the same thing and I don't know anyone else who is! X
This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
My sister's husband is in the RAF and whilst he's away they use these amazing diaries: https://www.thedetachmentdiary.com/ once they're back they can go through everything - which is great because they have a little one so its nice to keep track. My brother in law said it really helps to take some time just to sit and write. Hope it helps you ladies!
Original post by fredscarecrow
My partner is in the RAF - I've not had to deal with him being away yet (he's on a training course atm) but when he goes it'll be for 4.5 months in one go...so I'm really not looking forward to it (dreading it).
I'm used to LDRs, my last relationship was America-England for 10 weeks, and I've always been LDR with my current partner (but obviously within England) but I guess a lot of the same rules and advice applies and is what I'm planning on doing - keep yourself occupied. You have to keep busy or otherwise you'll just sit and mope and miss them like hell. Don't keep a count down diary, unless you really find it helps you. I find it makes me dwell too much on how long they've been away and how long it is until they're back. Perhaps keep a diary of your life and after a few weeks, send it out to him. I'm sure he'd love to read it - no matter how monotonous and boring you think things sound, I bet he wants to know what you've been up to, so when he's bored and lonely he can imagine you doing all the stuff you do on a day to day basis - curling up in bed, watching telly etc.
Perhaps try and get in touch with other partners of people from his regiment (or whatever), sometimes having a support network of people who really get what you're going through can help, though obviously they're likely to be spread across the country.
I can't even begin to comprehend what it's going to be like when my partner goes out - we're both utterly dreading it. But at the end of the day it comes with the job and it has to be done. They have a hard time out there, but we have a bloody hard job back at home. Your loyalty and love and dedication probably mean more than the world to him and when things feel hard and you miss him dradfully, just give yourself a pat on the back because you deserve it!
I'm used to LDRs, my last relationship was America-England for 10 weeks, and I've always been LDR with my current partner (but obviously within England) but I guess a lot of the same rules and advice applies and is what I'm planning on doing - keep yourself occupied. You have to keep busy or otherwise you'll just sit and mope and miss them like hell. Don't keep a count down diary, unless you really find it helps you. I find it makes me dwell too much on how long they've been away and how long it is until they're back. Perhaps keep a diary of your life and after a few weeks, send it out to him. I'm sure he'd love to read it - no matter how monotonous and boring you think things sound, I bet he wants to know what you've been up to, so when he's bored and lonely he can imagine you doing all the stuff you do on a day to day basis - curling up in bed, watching telly etc.
Perhaps try and get in touch with other partners of people from his regiment (or whatever), sometimes having a support network of people who really get what you're going through can help, though obviously they're likely to be spread across the country.
I can't even begin to comprehend what it's going to be like when my partner goes out - we're both utterly dreading it. But at the end of the day it comes with the job and it has to be done. They have a hard time out there, but we have a bloody hard job back at home. Your loyalty and love and dedication probably mean more than the world to him and when things feel hard and you miss him dradfully, just give yourself a pat on the back because you deserve it!
Hey! My partner is alao in the RAF and he hasnt gone on deployment yet but im still worrying about when he will, it would be great to talk to people that get it aswell. I feel like im at an endless pit of worry about it! Maybe you could PM me and we could keep in contact?
Related discussions
- How can I cope with my BF (25) joining the British Army?
- Army HR
- boyfriend is joining the RAF
- Should I join as regular officer before apply GEM or go straight to medicine ?
- Would you consider this cheating? I don't know what to do.
- Bf is always late when we meet
- My bf not being ok with me going to my friend invitation because there will be boys
- How do you cope with your boyfriend looking at other females
- Suggesting moving from a monogamous relationship to a monogamish one?
- Should I try long distance at 17?
- relationship advice.. (18 year old and 24)
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