How does losing your virginity &#x27;change&#x27; you?

Are you talking about just generally or from a personal point of view? Because surely when you wait and lose your virginity to your husband that wont make you see men and relationships differently will it?

Reply 2

i dunno, generALLy i guess. i dont know cos losing virginity in or out of marriage must surely be the same physically and mentally, the difference is spritual with God

Reply 3

I agree but i think the change would be a positive one. I think you would share that special connection with your husband/wife that you know you will only experience together and with each other if you know what i mean? I think it will highten the love you feel for one another. I can only see positives :smile:

Reply 4

Sugar_Puff_Fairy

I don't think it makes you mistrusting, hasn't to me anyway. It depends why and who you lose it to I suppose. It changes you as a person in some ways, but only coz it's something new that most people are doing, and you sort of think (Well I did) "What took me so long to join in?" But I never thought losing my virginity was a huge deal, it just happened, and I don't think it changed me much at all, just that a year on (Today actually how weird!) I'm way more comfortable with myself and my body, but that's it. I suppose it's different for everyone though.

Reply 5

i thik i read in another thread that you were also virgin. so we dont really know. my friends say it changes the way you think and approach relationships

Reply 6

Sugar_Puff_Fairy

shinytoy

i thik i read in another thread that you were also virgin. so we dont really know. my friends say it changes the way you think and approach relationships

This is true too.

Reply 7

shinytoy

i thik i read in another thread that you were also virgin. so we dont really know. my friends say it changes the way you think and approach relationships

Yes i am through choice and my faith. Did your friends wait until they were with their husbands though? i think that is the difference. If you are both waiting to be with each other then i dont see how any element of distrust can come into it, just a hightened sense of love for each other.

Reply 8

from what i see, that would be the view of someone who had then been betrayed/upset by the person they lost their virginity to.

a few case studies to back this up:

one friend of mine lost their virginity to someone they had liked for a really long time. the circumstances werent great (nasty location, not in the relationship that she so desperately wanted, etc) and afterwards, she felt used. that put her off sleeping with guys later because she began to distrust them.

another friend was in a long term relationship with the guy she lost hers to, although they slept together very early on in the relationship, they stayed together for a couple of years afterward. she has no hard feelings about losing her virginity and only sees it as a change in maturity and knowledge of herself.

and myself, i lost my virginity to someone i was in a relationship with, who broke up with me 2 months later. i was distraught, but have never regretted sleeping with him. the only thing i think has changed in me is the fact that i had sex. before, i didnt know what sex was like. afterward, i did. thats as simple as it is.

dont let your friends scare you off. things like this are different for everyone. losing your virginity is a very personal thing (and not something to be taken lightly in todays social climate).
i personally think its very unhealthy that your friends feel this way. i doubt that the circumstances surrounding their first times were favourable.

Reply 9

Schmokie Dragon

*checks self*

Nope, same old me. But if you lose it when you are a teenager then any changes caused by it would be masked by the changes you experience growing up.... but I really don't think sex has changed me at all!

Reply 10

my friends loved the guys at the time, they broke up just for general reasons. they dont regreet losing it, but they keep saying my mind and way of thinking will be less innocent or something

allmyshoes

before, i didnt know what sex was like. afterward, i did. .

this sums up what they keep saying, but the actual mental impact of this is what they are talking about and i dont get it

Reply 11

its possible that your mind will be less innocent in the fact that maybe you'll have sex, then not be able to stop thinking about it.

but i dont see why losing your virginity would automatically mean that you start distrusting men.

Reply 12

allmyshoes

but i dont see why losing your virginity would automatically mean that you start distrusting men.

Especially in the context of a loving marriage.

Reply 13

HipsAndHearts

Your Probably.
Not a virgin anymore.
Thats a change.

Reply 14

BirchyGreen

Especially in the context of a loving marriage.

um, if you like?
but i dont see why there'd be any difference. losing one's virginity is the same whether you are married to the other party or not. the difference is still the same.

plus, being married doesnt mean that they can't sleep with you, then file for divorce. i'm not meaning to tear apart your appeal here, but you have to take that into account.
as much as marriage "should be sacred", it unfortunately isnt for many.

plus, as far as i am aware, the author of this thread hasnt actually mentioned the context of marriage within this question.

Reply 15

But Shinytoy as a Roman Catholic would be losing hers under that context, that is what i was saying.

Reply 16

in my view, that would be an assumption, but i appreciate what you are saying.

Reply 17

Happy1

I dont think i changed at all afetr losing my virginity. I did it in a way that I felt was right (waiting over 3 months, with someone i loved etc), so I dont think it changed my way of thinking.

However, I do feel that if you lose it in a way that you, deep down, dont fel to have been the right, or best way to do it, your views on sex, and relationships in general, as well as your character can change. many people become very cynical and bitter about relationships and love after losing their virginity in stupid ways such as on one night stands, or to a person that hurts them soon after.

Reply 18

Jandarini

I honestly don't think I changed at all after losing my virginity. It was with someone that I liked and granted, the circumstances weren't amazing, but it hasn't made me distrustful at all.

Reply 19