Uni deadlines/home problems/counselling

I have coursework which is due in before we break up for easter (this friday) and I am struggling to get it done. Not because I cant do it, or havnt tried, but I'm having alot of problems at home.

To cut a long story short, I am living at home still whilst at uni - which isnt what I really wanted, but I wont leave my mum and sister. There are currently alot of issues with my mum and dad, which then often include me and my sister. Like today for example, I got back from lectures this morning to find a huge problem between them again...dont really want to go into it all. But the upshot of all of this is that I either cant do work because they are talking/argueing and I'm with them, or they are argueing etc, but I'm trying to get work done.

I know everything that is going on between them needs sorting, and I'm trying to get my mum to sort it, but I am struggling with my work at uni. I am considering going to see the counsellors at uni to see if they will approve me filling in an EC form so that I can get an extension. But I have a couple of q's. If I do this, will the tutor know why I have got an extension (that I have been to the counsellors etc.) Also, how much will I have to explain to them, I dont know as I want to go into to much detail at the moment, although I may at a later dater.

Anyway, thanks for any help you can give, and sorry for it being quite a long post!

Reply 1

white_haired_wizard

We don't know the nature of your family problems - everyones family have arguments and disputes at some point, so it had better be a nature of a serious variety and not a 'mickey-mouse' excuse...you also don't have to do your work at home, there's a library for you...so in terms of not being able to work at home, that arguement doesnt have a leg to stand on.

None of us can really judge until we know about the specific problem, nature of problem, all i can say, is that if it doesn't come across as serious...then i doubt an extension would be given, nor should it be given.

Reply 2

allmyshoes

i'm unsure of the answers to your questions, as i am not yet at university and so don't know the ins & outs of the system.
i just wanted to let you know that i know how you are feeling, as i am going through much of the same things. i hope things look up for you, soon.

best wishes
-L

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I know how you feel. When i was doing my GCSE's my mum and dad were going through a break up. my dad was violent and i hated leaving mum on her own with him. I couldn't consentrate at home because of the severe fights they used to have and i couldn't concentrate in the library because i would be worrying about what was happening at home. I managed to scrape by with 7 GCSE's, even now i don't no how i even got that many. I know it must be hard for you, but until you explain to people in detail why you are finding work difficult etc, not many people will help, that was my problem too.

Reply 4

kookabura

Thanks for your help. Dont want to go into details really (meant to post as anon, but the computer was playing up and it didnt!) but it isnt just an excuse, there are huge problems. The same as the anon person above, if I go into uni (which I often do) I am worrying about my mum and sister, and I have a laptop, books, internet etc at home, so there are only so many times I can go into uni on my days off without my dad wanting to now why I am going into uni again.

Does anyone know the answers to my q's please. Will the lectureres need to know why I have an extension. And how much will I have to tell the counsellors - there are some issues I dont know as I want to tell them.

Reply 5

andy_c

I think you should try telling your personal tutor - you will probably have to explain to one member of staff what's going on. I haven't done an EC form before, but I have friends who have. I think that there are systems in place which offer discretion, but I guess it will vary between uni's.

I don't think every member of staff will find out your problems if that's what you are worrying about, but best advice would be to check your uni's assessment regulations - they are usually available on the student intranet/student union website. Failing that, ask a student rep or the union education/welfare officer if you don't want to approach an member of academic staff.

Good luck, hope it all works out!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I don't mean explain on here whats going on, but i think if you want extensions on your uni work etc, you will have to explain a fair deal of it. Whatever is going on, it's nothing for you to be ashamed of. My mum used to tell me not to say anything to anybody as she was so embarressed about what dad was putting her through, but it shouldn't be like that. In the end i told everybody and they all helped me through my GCSE's, if i hadn't have explained some of it, i don't think i would have got any GCSE's.

Reply 7

andy_c

Cathie86

there are only so many times I can go into uni on my days off without my dad wanting to now why I am going into uni again.

Tell him your timetable changed, your meeting friends, your meeting with a lecturer... loads of excuses should work.

Reply 8

Sarah:-)

On my course, if you think that something is going to bugger up your revision for exams or coursework and you don't want people to know you can write it in a letter and seal it and give it to someone like the course organiser and then they can look after it so if you get bad marks they can open it and see that you did actually have a certain problem and they will take it into account.

To get an extention I'd say that you are going to have to go to the module/ course organiser and tell them what the problem is, they'll defo keep it confidential and I'm sure they'll be understanding. I'm not sure about asking a councellor to sign something for you saying that theres something wrong, but it sounds quite likely that it could work. If you're having such problems at home maybe a councellor could help anyway. Don't keep it to yourself if you're having problems. Theres no point in suffering alone.

Good luck!

Reply 9

markkey

I would recommend talking to your tutor/supervisor and they will be able to get the ball rolling. They will speak to the board of studies people from your department who will be the people who have control over what happens with regards to all academic matters.

Going to see a counseller will help back up your application and if you get them to write a letter to your supervisor/tutor saying you have been to see them.

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

i was in a really very similar situation this time last week. I live at university but my home is not very far away, my parents have having major issues at the moment and are divorcing and i have had to come and go between home aqnd university and have found it impossible to work. You should really talk to you personal tutor cos mine was so lovely about it, you don't have to tell them that much just explain you are finding it hard it concentrate and are seeking help. I had work that had to be handed in on thursday and there was no chance i was going to have it finished despitr working continuously for 3 days and nights! i still had to hand the work in but i also handed in a letter of mitigating circumstances which a board of people would take into consideration. I think it;s really important you do this and i think you will be taken seriously as it's your tutors duty to look after your welfare!

Reply 11

white_haired_wizard

Your tutor is there to help. They aren't monsters! I had personal health problems in my second year so i booked an appointment with him to explain my high absence rate that term. They are understanding...i found it rather uncomfortable thinking about going to see my superviser as you don't know whether you will come across as believable even when your problems are real...but once in there, you'll be fine.