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I can't handle the effects of bullying

It has really really messed me up. Was bullied all throughout primary school, and in high school a bit. I have no confidence whatsoever. Am female.

Reply 1

ryan750

2

Anonymous

It has really really messed me up. Was bullied all throughout primary school, and in high school a bit. I have no confidence whatsoever. Am female.

Bullying can be very damaging but u can also use that negative energy thrown at you to do something positive for yourself. Many celebs had ambition because of bullying - they wanted to prove to others and themselves that they could get somewhere.

Best thing to do is have gr8 friends or people around u that u trust and like - avoid people that bring u down. Transform urself - tell urself u r worth more than u now feel. Work hard and u feel achievement which builds confidence. Dont allow what people say to get u down too much- analyse what they said and why u think they said it: because they are jealous; threatened; pathetic; bored; unlikely to succeed etc. These people mustnt be allowed to affect u badly - never give up on urself - it's not you - it's them!

theres no easy fix for confidence as i struggle with it too - but make ur goals and head for them - the rest don't matter :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

I work really hard, get the nerd/loser label ALL the time! :bawling:

Reply 3

ryan750

2

People Are Jealous Of Those That Strive To Do Something To Better Themselves - So Thats All It Is. Also When U Go To University You Will Be Surrounded With Likeminded People And U Willmeet Great People. So Its Not Too Long Now :smile:

Reply 4

silverbolt

19

start a martial art.
its a great way to build disipline and confidence it worked for me when i was bullied.

plus the next time someone picks on you you beat seven levels of crap out of them that worked for me to

Reply 5

Locke_Brigand

I used the reason they were bullying me to my advantage, for instance I was labeled as smart for some reason so I used long words to confuse them and walked away while they were trying to figure out if I'd just insulted them or not. there was that and the suprise they got when they found out I'm stronger and more brave/stupid than I look...
Anyway most of these people will be gotten rid of in university if not sixth form, like here, first day of sixth form was... quiet.

Reply 6

Philosophia

2

If anything, you've got to look on this experience, even though this is going to take alot - as a positive one. Now this may sound slightly insensitive of me, when you have no confidence, but you've got to start showing people who you really are. Show them how bullying has made you stronger, and more determined to fufil your goals and ambitions, that they probably never will. Believe me, I was bullied harrassed at 18! I thought that kind of immature behaviour didn't exist then. But by god, I showed them what for. And now they're the one's that are paying for what they did, not just to me but to others too.

So, my advice is - don't forget what happened, as that won't happen so easily, but remember you are more confident now, you're stronger, and you're better for it. So live that life!

xxx

Reply 7

FadeToBlackout

15

I got bullied a great deal during primary school and just as much during secondary school. I'm now at a great uni and having the time ofmy life surrounded by genuinely likeminded people. I consider it my reward- 12 years plus of hell for it to have all have got recently better.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, to use a cliche.

Reply 8

username47781

20

Oh i got sick of it when i was at school the teachers did nothing so i took it into my own hands and started lashing out obviously 2 wrongs dont make a right but in the end i just snapped.

Reply 9

Schmokie Dragon

17

I was bullied to varying levels all the way through. Its s**t, I know. It absolutely destroys, if you let it.

As with most things in life, the human mind is stronger than its opponents. If you are having a crappy time, over anything, its your mind that makes the difference between a bad experience and a truly horrendous one. This was a lesson it took me a very long time to learn - don't let them get to you (I know, I know, the ultimate cliche...but its true).

Your mind is what makes you you and its what makes you strong. Don't let them drag you down, even if they are hurting you in deeply emotional and physical ways. Get a counsillor, talk to people, tell teachers. Create a barrier between you and them and once you know you have a crash net, you can deal with them more on your own terms.

Reply 10

anjurdsg

11

yeah... i used to be bullied a lot too... but i "analysed" myself... i found out that i was the kinda person that was likely to be bullied ... i was insecure, had an attitude problem, i was a nerd, i used to think i was better than everyone else though i wasnt.... the list goes on...

but i changed... since i'm in an international school, people come and leave all the time... all the "bullies" left the school...

at first, it used to be that every new person who came to the school turned into a bully for me... now that the bullies have left, and i actually knw what my problems were, and having changed them, i am totally different now... not a different person, just different in terms of maturity, attitude, everything...

and one more thing: when you look down upon someone, it DOESN'T show how low THEY are sunk, it shows how low YOU are sunk... SO! If you ever get bullied, think about how low THEY are... and get over it...

Reply 11

ChemistBoy

16

I got bullied at various points at school. You need to ignore it and be positive. However if it is serious then you need to get someone involved serious verbal or physical abuse is not tolerable.

Reply 12

matt@internet

12

Be nice to nerds because someday you will working for them. Just keep telling yourself that, one day, the people who bully you will be selling you and your kids fries at McDonalds :smile:

Reply 13

anjurdsg

11

matt@internet

Be nice to nerds because someday you will working for them. Just keep telling yourself that, one day, the people who bully you will be selling you and your kids fries at McDonalds :smile:

lol now thats not very nice, is it?

telling a nerd that he/she is a nerd when he/she doesnt like to be known as a nerd

Reply 14

matt@internet

12

I'm sure theres a difference between nerds and a lot of other insults. Isn't a nerd just a really smart and quite shy person while geeks and what have you are smart and weird or whatever. What is it called when you are weird but not overly intelligent like myself?

Reply 15

anjurdsg

11

matt@internet

I'm sure theres a difference between nerds and a lot of other insults. Isn't a nerd just a really smart and quite shy person while geeks and what have you are smart and weird or whatever. What is it called when you are weird but not overly intelligent like myself?

weirdo?

Reply 16

ChemistBoy

16

matt@internet

What is it called when you are weird but not overly intelligent like myself?

Sociopath?

Reply 17

GeorgieK

ryan750

People Are Jealous Of Those That Strive To Do Something To Better Themselves - So Thats All It Is. Also When U Go To University You Will Be Surrounded With Likeminded People And U Willmeet Great People. So Its Not Too Long Now :smile:

Thanks For Starting Every Word With A Capital Letter. It Really Makes It Easier To Read.

To the OP, i'm kind of in the same situation as you, and its thanks to it that i think i turned out a much better person, i learnt many lessons that i think it takes other people many more years to learn.

Reply 18

Profesh

20

matt@internet

I'm sure theres a difference between nerds and a lot of other insults. Isn't a nerd just a really smart and quite shy person while geeks and what have you are smart and weird or whatever. What is it called when you are weird but not overly intelligent like myself?

That sentence is sorely lacking a comma.

Reply 19

tomtheone

2

matt@internet

Be nice to nerds because someday you will working for them. Just keep telling yourself that, one day, the people who bully you will be selling you and your kids fries at McDonalds :smile:

Hey I take offense to that (*Note* I work at McDonalds on Saturdays but intend to leave about September when I go to University).

I got on pretty well with people at my school, except for this one guy who just seemed to have a problem with me. It didn't bother me at first, just knocking in to my shoulder and a couple of names here and there. But then he would threaten me, throw things at me in class (sometimes including a compass). I went to the teachers but that was ineffective.

Anyway one day he was calling me names while in the PE changing rooms and threatening to beat me up in front of all the guys getting changed, but then I realized the only reason he tried to push me around was because he knew I was scared of him. So do you know what I did? I stopped being afraid. I went right up to his face in front of everybody and said these words.

"Look, I am bigger than you, I am smarter than you, I am a hell of a lot less fatter than you and, frankily, in a fight, I would beat the living s*** out of you."

It was then that all the guys getting changed suddenly started cheering and telling the guy/bully to get lost. Since that day I had no trouble with this guy, made a few friends who had also been victims of his 'bullying' and he has left school so I no longer see him.

So remember the only thing a bully has on you is fear. Show them you are not afraid and they cannot bully you.

I can't handle the effects of bullying

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