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Abused as a child.

Dear Friends....

I dont know how to put this, but as a child i was severely abused by my father. Which leads me to my problem. Im half way through the first year at uni now and i find intense socialising with females impossible, as i feel im not capable of love.

How can i deal with these scars that ive had to endure for most of my life.

Im 19 male and extremely lonely :frown:

Reply 1

Bear_Grylls

19

forget about it, dwelling with posts like this wont help as your just thinking about it more, and clearly its affecting you

:suith:

Reply 2

Profesh

20

Anonymous

Dear Friends....

I dont know how to put this, but as a child i was severely abused by my father. Which leads me to my problem. Im half way through the first year at uni now and i find intense socialising with females impossible, as i feel im not capable of love.

How can i deal with these scars that ive had to endure for most of my life.

Im 19 male and extremely lonely :frown:

Seek professional advice. Much as it pains me to say this, no-one here is adequately qualified to offer you any meaningful assistance.

Reply 3

hugatree

11

I don't see the link between you being abused by your father, a male, and not being able to socialize with girls. :smile:

Reply 4

Profesh

20

hugatree

I don't see the link between you being abused by your father, a male, and not being able to socialize with girls. :smile:

Well, quite; nor do I; nor, in all likelihood, would anybody outside the relevant clinical field.

Reply 5

Choey

maybe his dad had long hair?

Reply 6

myselfsd

Choey

maybe his dad had long hair?

*shakes head*

Reply 7

Redefined

13

There is something not quite right here...

Reply 8

Princess Ella

thats not funny choey-being abused is no jk-trust me! Listen to me the guy who opened this thread-remeber that one day ur gonna meet a girl whos gonna make u feel great (in my case a guy)forget ur past-it will no longer help u anymore-move on-and I know that’s really difficult but u gotta try-good luck-tell us how u get on-tc-ella

Reply 9

**noooni**

3

Anonymous

Dear Friends....

I dont know how to put this, but as a child i was severely abused by my father. Which leads me to my problem. Im half way through the first year at uni now and i find intense socialising with females impossible, as i feel im not capable of love.

How can i deal with these scars that ive had to endure for most of my life.

Im 19 male and extremely lonely :frown:

This is clearly a problem, and no matter how difficult it may seem to you, you have to get some counselling. Don’t expect immediate results in how you feel as it will take time, but in the time being you can start by taking things step by step. Socialising with girls has nothing to do with falling in love, and you have to stop making this link, as your belief of being incapable of love is stopping you from socialising. Make friends with girls, as you need to become comfortable around females. Maybe when you’re more comfortable around girls it will be easier to meet someone that you have a lot in common with, maybe this will help you to stop thinking you are incapable of love.
Of course I have no idea what I am saying so first thing you should do is pluck up the courage to see a counsellor.

Reply 10

**noooni**

3

Choey

maybe his dad had long hair?

Oh, your really sensitive arent you?

Reply 11

db

17

hugatree

I don't see the link between you being abused by your father, a male, and not being able to socialize with girls. :smile:

surely intimacy of any kind is a problem if you have had 'intimacy' of any kind forced upon you at an early age. the genders of the people involved really shouldn't matter that much

Reply 12

hugatree

11

devilbunny

surely intimacy of any kind is a problem if you have had 'intimacy' of any kind forced upon you at an early age. the genders of the people involved really shouldn't matter that much

Hm I suppose that makes sense, yes. I didn't think of the 'abuse' as an intimate thing, but beating...

Reply 13

Jack0

To be honest I'm suprised that you find socialising with girls so difficult - I would have thought it would influence your relationships with males more. I don't think you should blame your past for this - as you may have found it difficult anyway as many guys do.

Reply 14

Profesh

20

Choey

maybe his dad had long hair?

The 'line' is over the distant horizon, and you're on the wrong side.

Reply 15

Evil-Tuna

2

Choey

maybe his dad had long hair?

Even i think thats a wee bit too far

Reply 16

ellewoods

10

Profesh

Seek professional advice. Much as it pains me to say this, no-one here is adequately qualified to offer you any meaningful assistance.

Absolutely right Profesh.

Reply 17

shinytoy

18

i think see a counsellor or somthing.not TSR. you need some kind of mental threapy to heal you. dont feel ashamed. i think your GP can refer you. may God bless you and keep you.

Reply 18

Choey

*slaps wrist* :frown:

Reply 19

justbrowsing

4

The replies to this persons question are an absolute disgrace. The fact that he finds it difficult to interact/forge relationships with girls is not open to debate- this is the problem for which is seeking help. You people clearly have no compassion or empathy.

Anon- I am no psychiatrist. However, I think you're conflict surrounding girls is easily explained. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears evident that you are not gay, and perhaps would like a relationship with a girl, even if only a friendship, if it weren't for this problem you have.

For this to happen, you need to feel some kind of love for the girl. I mean, we all love our friends to a certain extent.

You have had a devastating experience, and were not lucky enough to enjoy the sensse of feeling the conventional form of love from your father. Generally speaking, our parents are our greatest influence when it comes to developing these feelings.

You are suffering from a form of repression. If at all possible, try to forget what happened to you. Abuse is very rare and isnt part of normal life. You'll never encounter this again.

Please console yourself with this.. If you have been forced to endure any form of abuse, even bullying at school, you are reduced to feeling devastatingly hurt and lonely. You will never forget these feelings. But you'll know never to cause anyone close to you to feel like this.

Anon, you are no doubt a sensite and LOVING person, this is evident by the fact that you posted in the first place. Empathy is a beautiful quality, and i'm certain you have the qualities that any girl would be lucky to receive from you.

Use this a a positive experience. You've endured a lot of pain, but you've come through it and you've taken good steps to correct your insecurities, which is something to be proud of. The fact that you recognise this means you're well on track to erasing these painful demons. I wish you the best of luck.

Abused as a child.

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