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self-harm, emo, depression (etc) taboos

what's with all the taboos about self harm and depression amongst teenagers at the moment (or has it always been that way)

I used to self harm, but only one of my friends knows, and it shocks me how much stigma there is about it.
My friends are fairly tolerant, but even they often have a dig at people who self-harm, or are depressed as "emo" or "pathetic".
Is everybody my age like that (I'm 17, my friends are all 16-18), or are they not as tolerant as I thought?

they upset me with their comments, but obviiously i can't tell them to stop, without it being obvious why.

xx

Reply 1

shinyhappy

14

Because in some cases, it seems like people are just doing it as a way of seeking attention (openly showing scars etc.)
Obviously this isn't the case for all people who self harm, but those that do it for that reason, give people who are genuinely depressed, a bad name.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm not an "attention seeking" self harmer, but surely people must have a bit of empathy for those who are considered to be one.

someone must have to have some sort of problems if they could willifully hurt themselves like that?

Reply 3

**noooni**

3

It has nothing to do with attention seeking shinytoy. My sister used to self harm and we are really close yet she managed to hide it for months and months, and i only noticed by accident. People who self harm do not show their scars like you say, they arent proud of it and will try very hard to hide it.

To the OP, the stigma that comes with issues like this is horrible i agree, as it makes it extremely difficult for the person to seek help as they will fear being judged. However maybe it can also be a good thing because it can put people off, I dont know i think people may joke around with issues like self harming but when faced with this problem whether directly or not most will respect its difficulty and be as supportive as they can.

Reply 4

everylittleting

1

I had a bit of a problem with this once, my friend was talking about another friend of mine that had recently left school due to depression and was talking about all the usual things, lazy etc. I'd had a bit of a problem with depression and I people in my family have too so it really got to me. I think you just have to try to ignore what they were saying. They don't know anything about it and so they form their own views, and stereotyping all people with depression to be "attention seeking" and "emo". Maybe point out to the that one in four people are affected with depression at some point so maybe they should be a little less bitchy about that people that are because it's very common.

Reply 5

username47781

20

Not that many to be honest do it for attention seeking, usually most people who self-harm will try to hide it as much as possible, obviously there are so many reasons why people do it.

Reply 6

Lucyvet2006

Not sure why the stereotype exists- I guess because depression is such a wide-spread problem + no-one is doing much about it (ie. v happy to dole out pills that don't solve any kind of psychological/social problems and are clearly inappropriate without counselling) all people can do is laugh at it. Simliarly, obesity is a huge (pardon the pun) problem but people still have the attitude that fat people don't know they should eat a balanced diet and exercise, they are lazy, greedy etc... If people can't help a situation and don't have any experience of it themselves they like to ignore it or mock it. (sorry I must be feeling extra bitter today!)

Reply 7

xXMessedUpXx

15

There is already another thread on self harm, so maybe take a look there if you're interested in people's responses to it. Self harm is seen as somthing of a taboo, because it is not "normal" behaviour. For someone to harm themselves, there is usually an underlying emotional/metal problem, that needs addressing. In my expereience, most people, unless they have experienced it first hand are not tolerant of self harmers. Sadly you may find that this kind of attitude is quite common.

Reply 8

notsoperfect

1

emo is just quite hilarious

Reply 9

Helenia

20

Anonymous

what's with all the taboos about self harm and depression amongst teenagers at the moment (or has it always been that way)

To be honest, there has never been more awareness of self-harm than there currently is. But, as with everything, there will always be a lot of people who don't understand it and make stereotypes. And there ARE people who do it for attention or because they think they have to to fit some silly "emo" character, which only makes things worse.

But at least it's something people know about these days.

Reply 10

silverbolt

19

attention seeking self harmers are very much the emo kiddie "the world hates me" blah blah blah and all that crap (i hate emo kiddies each one should be tazered to death)

to those who have a real problem they just need some understanding and help getting past it

Reply 11

Schmokie Dragon

17

A lot of "emo" types are very open with their "the world hates me, I may as well kill myself". Its very difficult to live with someone that acts like that becuase their behaviour is very attention-seeking, even if they don't mean it to be, and its simply not true.... the world really doesn't have an opinion. Same with selfharm. I had some friends do it in a very open "look at me, I need your love and sympathy" manner and its a complete turn off. I found it very difficult to give them any attention without them leeching off me or turning away from me for being nosy. I was going through it as well and they were making it more difficult for me to deal with my problems.

Self harm itself is also very widely misunderstood. People often assume its cos you are attention seeking, "****ed up" or selfish, and if they cant understand why you are acting like that they are more likely to be wary.

Reply 12

pugnacious

Personally, even though I do not doubt for a second the authenticity of a great deal of self harm, I do beleive that the emo culture has opened it up as an avenue for any teens with a lack of self beleif or a lack of direction, as a result of that I find the emo culture ridiculously stupid

I wish my lawn was emo, so that it would cut itself

self-harm, emo, depression (etc) taboos

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