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Just good friends?

Is there anyone here who can honestly say they remained friends with their ex?

Ive just split with someone but it was fairly mutual and amicable - this guy said he really wants us to stay friends, but does that ever really work?

Reply 1

El Scotto

I think it can only work after a long break apart, when the raw emotion has died down.

Reply 2

Monkey_Maiden

In my experiences you might be able to but it's very very hard. When me and my ex split up we said we would always be best mates and to start with we did kind of, we met up and talked on msn a lot etc. but as he was the one who ended it I still had hope every time we met up etc and I could tell he mainly saw me so as not to let me down and upset me. We also ended up sleeping together a few times when we met, not proud of it, but there was still the attraction. After a month or so he decided he couldn't be mates with me and needed a clean break from me, he blocked me and told me not to contact him. It's been 2 months so far I think and I don't see him contacting me again soon :frown:

I'm over him in the bf sense but he was my best mate and I miss him loads, however I understand now that it is hard to remain mates after you split, too many confused feelings or attraction, resentment, wanting to move on etc.

Reply 3

soilman

I dont think its possible at all. Perhaps maybe 2 in 100 people is my guestimate!

Reply 4

JudeX

See this is the problem - we were good freinds before this too, but maybe now we've crossed that line it can never be the same again.

Im angry with myself for possibly stuffing up a really good friendship. I know -it takes two.

Reply 5

frank01277779

I'm now pretty good friends with my ex (were together for about 20 months, including living together for a bit, she was also my best friend) its now about 6 months since we split up, it was hard and at points during the time after splitting up we argued/didnt speak, etc. Its ok now+we can talk to each other about stuff...It can work if you both want it to, but it takes time and will probably not work at first.

Reply 6

Higgy

Im best mates with my ex now, we both see different people but at the end of the day we're soul mates now. I went out with her for a year but have been best mates for months now after an initial 2 month gap of not seeing each other.

Reply 7

xavier2k3

Talking from past experience, it hasn't happened at all. The closest i've got to that is talking to the girl every now and then. I don't understand why it happens..it just does. However saying that, when me and my best friend (girl) got involved but didn't get together, things were fine afterwards... :confused:

regards
--marty

Reply 8

Anything

if you have any feelings for each other it won't work or it'll be a confusing friendship, after finally cutting off all contact for a few months (because talking to each other wasnt working he wanted to be friends with benefits tut) when we started talking again it was back to the weirdness after a week

but then the relationship ended before it should have done and things were crazy we didnt go off each other. prehaps if its reached a natural end then its possible

Reply 9

Niaya

yes - im extremly good friends with several of my exes

Reply 10

mangomaz

I didnt think it would work before but my ex is still one of my best friends in the world. We broke up because it just wasnt going to work out long term and well he didnt see the point in continuing with the relationship if he could see an end to it.

I think the only reason its worked though (and will hopefully continue to work) is that neither of us really want to get back together but we still really care for each other and want to stay friends, so I've managed to skip the whole 'oh but hopefully he'll change his mind and we'll get back together' stuff. It is really hard though.. especially as he's already found someone new grr! (found 2 weeks after we broke up!) but he still really cares and is all cute not wanting to upset me with it all. I really love him so much. EDIT: In a platonic way!!!!
I'll be his friend forever :smile:

Oh god sorry for that ramble its just something really close to my heart now lol..

Reply 11

wednesburywench

I'm best friends with my ex, and we have only been split up 5 or 6 weeks. Then again we were together for nearly 4 years, been best friends all that time, and have the same friend groups when we arnt at uni....so not being friends was never an option for us, we value each other too much.Just because one of us didnt see the other in that way anymore doesnt mean we dont love each other as friends, because we do, and I cant see there ever being anything different, he will always be my best friend!

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

I think with time, it's really easy to be friends with an ex. With one ex, he asked me to be friends straight away, always trying to phone me and stuff and now we dont even speak because he didn't get the message that it was too soon. With another ex, we didnt speak properly for about 4 months and now we are great friends. Like they say, times a healer!

Reply 13

Tyler Durden

Not only do I think it's possible, I believe that people who have shared some degree of intimacy make very good friends (perhaps my best female friends anyway!) Obviously it depends somewhat on circumstances, and a gap between the end of the relationship and the beginning of a friendship can be beneficial. But yes, it is certainly possible!

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