Relationship not as expected

This is probably quite a mundane problem judging by the rest of the threads in this forum but I would really appreciate some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now and it really seems he isn't really that enthusiastic about what we have.

Ok, don't get me wrong - he's completely faithful, caring and so on, but I feel like the relationship is just a subsidiary interest of his and not in any way central to his life (even partly) like I would idealistically have hoped. We chat/meet up every few days, and apart from that we have completely separate lives.

I don't know if I'm just being silly and expecting too much at this stage but I would have hoped I'd mean more to him. He's barely ever told me he misses me! He's completely unromantic. If I don't hear from him for a few days I panic and yet for him he's like "oh hiya, how's things?" like it doesn't matter how long we've been apart for.

I feel embarrassed asking him for more attention cos surely I shouldn't have to ask? Anyhing nice he does say is as a result of subtle prompting! He's so lovely though in every other way - really honest and genuine. But I don't think he realises anything's wrong. And I don't know how to explain to him either. Even if he does care lots, I wish he'd express it at least a little instead of leaving me guessing all the time and waiting for what seems like an inevitable dumping.

Any advice?

P.S. Anon cos bf uses this site.

Reply 1

El Scotto

Tell him how you feel, Its better then expecting him to mindread, especially if he doesnt know anythings wrong. You could be his first girlfriend or something and he might not know how hes expected to act?

Reply 2

Allzy87

perhaps he just has problems expressing his emotions, i know i've had that with bfs before, it might just take a while, i know one guy took over 5 months to kiss me :s-smilie:

Reply 3

Helenia

Well, I kinda had that problem, and it did make me REALLY paranoid. If he is as honest and genuine as you say though, then you know that he does like you, just doesn't express it as often as you would like. This can be assisted by some gentle poking, but if you have a lovely guy, be happy with him and enjoy what you have rather than comparing it with how you think it should be.

I got on much better once I realised that it wasn't going to work out like I thought it would when I was 14.