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'Break' and moving on

Hi everyone,

I know this has been done to death on the forum but I really need some advice and any help would be greatly appreciated.

The basic gist of the story is that me and my bf have been fighting a lot recently, we have trust issues and he tells little lies that he doesn't think cause harm but just add to the problem. So after a huge fight on tuesday, we have decided to have a break and give each other time to think about what we really want, as we cannot keep fighting all the time.

My question is... has anyone else been on a 'break', and it hasn't worked out? We both feel exasperated with the current situation, but I love him and want things to go back to way they were.

However I am preparing myself for the death of this relationship, and I need to know what the best way to get over it is. When it was good it was amazing, but when its bad, its SO bad.

Thanks in advance...

Reply 1

username47781

20

Well first you haven't broken up yet so i think the first thing to do is even over a drink or something get to the bottom of whats causing you two to fight, depending on how long you been together it will be a bit of a shame to throw it all away over some silly fight, if worse came to worse the best way i guess is to go out with your friends and have a good time, but hey it might not get that bad yet, don't lose hope.

Reply 2

jointhedots

16

I just don't think 'breaks' work. Either you want to be together and you should work through your problems together, or you should call it a day. If you're arguing so much that you can't stand seeing each other and any efforts to deal with it haven't worked, then maybe it's just not right at the moment.

Not seeing each other for a few days to cool off is maybe a good idea, but having an actual full on break from the relationship just always seems like a half assed way of splitting up, to me...

Reply 3

so_this_is_sam

3

I went on a break with my boyfriend and ended up growing apart. we split up after the break, it was horrible, we never reconciled our differences and things are still akward to date!!

Reply 4

Jenna Leicester

OP

misslibby

I just don't think 'breaks' work. Either you want to be together and you should work through your problems together, or you should call it a day. If you're arguing so much that you can't stand seeing each other and any efforts to deal with it haven't worked, then maybe it's just not right at the moment.

Not seeing each other for a few days to cool off is maybe a good idea, but having an actual full on break from the relationship just always seems like a half assed way of splitting up, to me...

I don't think that they work either, and thats why I am worried, and preparing for the worst! But short of risking really p*ssing him off by going around when he's so angry, or telling him what you have said above about how we should be working things out, I can't see what I can do?

Reply 5

jointhedots

16

Jenna Leicester

I don't think that they work either, and thats why I am worried, and preparing for the worst! But short of risking really p*ssing him off by going around when he's so angry, or telling him what you have said above about how we should be working things out, I can't see what I can do?

Maybe give him a couple of days and then try talking to him about working things out, since if he's still really pissed off neither of you will get much out of it. If he still doesn't want to talk then perhaps you should cut your losses...If he's not willing to work things out sensibly now then you're only going to come up against the same problems in the future.

Reply 6

shinyhappy

14

I had a 'break' of one month. (Not because of a fight, but because he needed space to deal with personal problems, and didn't want to drag me into it when he got stressed and angry.) It seemed to make things better, we'd missed each other, and he'd had the time to get his head round some stuff.

Reply 7

Jenna Leicester

OP

Anyone else? I'm really stressed out and can't do my essay!

Reply 8

claireyfairy

breaks do work i jus done one with my bf and wen we first met up we missed each other so much :>

Reply 9

username21537

2

All we can say, is have a talk, and be honest with how youj feel

Reply 10

pumpkin7

13

me and my boyfriend had a break over christmas. i hated it, and so did he, but it was the best thing we could have done.. things afterwards picked up so amazingly. i mean, he was so nice to me all the time - he said he missed me so much, and that he knew that he wanted to be with me.
they do work - you just have to be prepared.. meh.

Reply 11

Flank Runner

whether or not the break works depends on how much you love each other, the greater the love the more the abscence of each other in your lives will be felt therefore the greater the love the more chance of this relationship has of working, i would suggest sitting down and talking to your bf face to face and sort this out, because taking a break is like running away and nothing gets sorted if you run away

hope this helps

Reply 12

Kezalou

With respect to you and your boyfriend, if you're fighting that much that you already think it's over, maybe you know in your heart that its not right. You have to trust your instincts and more importantly each other, if you can't do that its a bit difficult really isn't it?

'Break' and moving on

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