Have I screwed up?

Right, basically, I'm asking for advice with a situation with this guy, we'll call him Bob. I used to fancy him about a year ago and he liked me, we flirted a lot, and ended up messing around topless to each other on webcam. I was in a long-term relationship at the time, so I called a break on that to decide between long-term boyfriend and Bob: long-term boyfriend won, and I got back with him.
Then a couple of months ago I split up with long-term boyfriend as he was at uni and things weren't really working out. And about a month later I kissed Bob at a party. We've been flirting a bit over the past couple of weeks, but nothing really since the party.

Then tonight he was giving me a lift home and I suggested we go for a walk together, so I guess I kind of initiated it, and we kissed a bit, then when we got back into his car he ended up fingering me and I did stuff for him. This wasn't the way I wanted it to work out, but I feel so so stupid that I was the one who initiated it and let it get to that point. Anyway, it was random, he's the only guy apart from long-term ex who I've done stuff like that with, so it felt weird and different and strange. And non-sensitive, and non-loving. And not like I really wanted it to. And just to make things even worse, he's "sort of seeing someone" at the mo (his own words), but can't decide between me and her. And if nothing comes of tonight, I'll just feel so completely used, and I don't know how long it'll be before I can trust myself to be with a guy again :frown:

It's strange, I don't feel like I'm on the rebound or anything cos I don't really miss or think about my ex much at all any more, now the initial moping period is over. But I also don't think I was really ready to go rushing into anything.. but then I didn't really want to anyway..

So confused :frown:

Any thoughts? Reckon I still have a chance with this guy or have I screwed up any chance of anything happening by just being easy, and not even particularly good at it? :frown:

Sorry to post a really pointless rant as well, needed to get it off my chest really.

Reply 1

Reue

20

Anonymous

Sorry to post a really pointless rant as well, needed to get it off my chest really.

Hit the nail on the head there.

The question is, why did you go for this guy if he's 'kinda seeing someone'. you like him, thats obvious, so make it obvious to him that its you or her.

Reply 2

anjurdsg

11

Sorry to post a really pointless rant as well, needed to get it off my chest really.

Ok first of all, stop saying these kinda things... just by reading this line, I'm judging you to be insecure..

I wont even go into what stuff you did that you SHOULDNT have done...now THATS pointless

What you need to do now is:
Go out date other men
Show him you dont need him...If he really HAS someone else in his life, this way, you'll come to know about it.... If he DOESNT have someone else in his life, you know that he was just lying about it coz he was trying to play you (but hey you cant blame him....it's human nature...you woulda done the same too)

Or else, if you're really that desperate: just ask him out ... now you're gonna say that i'm crazy that i think that girls should ask guys out.... why not?! I've been asked out by girls before

Reply 3

MNBStyle

9

Anonymous

Right, basically, I'm asking for advice with a situation with this guy, we'll call him Bob. I used to fancy him about a year ago and he liked me, we flirted a lot, and ended up messing around topless to each other on webcam. I was in a long-term relationship at the time, so I called a break on that to decide between long-term boyfriend and Bob: long-term boyfriend won, and I got back with him.
Then a couple of months ago I split up with long-term boyfriend as he was at uni and things weren't really working out. And about a month later I kissed Bob at a party. We've been flirting a bit over the past couple of weeks, but nothing really since the party.

Then tonight he was giving me a lift home and I suggested we go for a walk together, so I guess I kind of initiated it, and we kissed a bit, then when we got back into his car he ended up fingering me and I did stuff for him. This wasn't the way I wanted it to work out, but I feel so so stupid that I was the one who initiated it and let it get to that point. Anyway, it was random, he's the only guy apart from long-term ex who I've done stuff like that with, so it felt weird and different and strange. And non-sensitive, and non-loving. And not like I really wanted it to. And just to make things even worse, he's "sort of seeing someone" at the mo (his own words), but can't decide between me and her. And if nothing comes of tonight, I'll just feel so completely used, and I don't know how long it'll be before I can trust myself to be with a guy again :frown:

It's strange, I don't feel like I'm on the rebound or anything cos I don't really miss or think about my ex much at all any more, now the initial moping period is over. But I also don't think I was really ready to go rushing into anything.. but then I didn't really want to anyway..

So confused :frown:

Any thoughts? Reckon I still have a chance with this guy or have I screwed up any chance of anything happening by just being easy, and not even particularly good at it? :frown:

Sorry to post a really pointless rant as well, needed to get it off my chest really.

Sounds like bob the builder is just using you for some cheap action.

Reply 4

spacedonkey

2

I think you're feeling unnecessarily bad. Doing what you did doesn't make you "easy" at all. Did you enjoy it at the time but feel bad afterwards? Please try not to worry about it - you haven't done something bad.

However "Bob" sounds like he might be playing with you - "sort of seeing someone" sounds a bit dodgy to me, and considering the way you're feeling about this incident, I think you need to feel *empowered* by taking a bit of control so that you don't feel like you're at the mercy of whatever he decides re: this person he's "sort of seeing".

Are you sure he's a decent sort of bloke? He sounds like a potential lowlife ...?

:hugs:

Reply 5

MNBStyle

9

spacedonkey

Are you sure he's a decent sort of bloke? He sounds like a potential lowlife ...?
:hugs:

Agreed, you can see it from a mile off. Im sort of seeing someone ******** yet he still has the time to have abit of fun with you???
I might sound harsh here but i think he knows you like him and hes taken advantage of your vunerabillity.
Yet your ex bf sounds like a very decent guy.
This is why you should think before exposing yourself in future, not that im saying your a slut or anything.