Am i being dumb?

It's been about 7 months since this really good friend of mine (girl) went out with one of my really godo friends. I met her around feburary in 2005 (chinese new year) and we spent a lot of time speaking to each other for ages. We were close and she said somethings which i didnt know how to take well enough. I sort of ignored what she said to me and pretended nothing happened. At school, i never really spoke to her othern then during my free periods cause my friends are about the most immature people ever even though we are like 17 - 18 now. They made so much fun of me and especially one of my friends who did everything he could to ruin my relationship with this girl. I tried to hide the fact that i was seeing her on weekends and stuff but it just made things worse. She started to know one of my friends better and gradually things became bad to worse. Cause i got really annoyed when she started speaking to him quite often as he is in about 2 of her classes. While i am in none. I sort of really hurt her and made her really upset about something, i think that was the turning point.

Nowadays i still see her about once a week on sundays at church and we get lunch and stuff. I still really care about her and i can't seem to shift my attention to other people. Am i being stupid abotu the whole situation? And any advice on what to do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I don't think you're being stupid, but I do think they you approached the situation in the wrong way to begin with. Why did you keep seeing her a secret? You like her a lot still, but if she's moved on perhaps you should think about doing the same? Sometimes that's not an easy process and there's no definite time period as to how long it takes ~ it differs between everyone. Maybe you should just speak to her as a friend still and try to find someone else to like, eventually you'll wake up one day and find you've been able to shift your attention. :smile:

Reply 2

xox Kirsty xox

Hi. You seem a nice person, and so does the girl, but a lot of things change over time. It's really good that your relationship as friends is fine as that is the most imporatant thing to have. My advice is to perhaps focus on your freindship and enjoy her company as a friend. If it's meant to be it's meant to be and likewise if it's not it's not. xxx :redface:

xxx

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I suppose so but I'm just having a hard time coping with it. Cause she was the first person I really liked and I never really showed who I really was. She sort of complained that i didn't say enough stuff about myself, which i am pretty bad at. I am trying to get to know other girls but I can't bring myself to like people i clearly don't.

Reply 4

FrisbeeFan

10

Anonymous

I suppose so but I'm just having a hard time coping with it. Cause she was the first person I really liked and I never really showed who I really was. She sort of complained that i didn't say enough stuff about myself, which i am pretty bad at. I am trying to get to know other girls but I can't bring myself to like people i clearly don't.

Take her aside and explain the situation to her as you have done to us. I'm sure she'll understand, if you're still friends. Then your relationship might turn into something more.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Not that i don't want to but she is seeing somebody else.

Reply 6

anjurdsg

11

You ain't being dumb mate..

I've been in a similar situation before... But the only difference between mine and your situation was that I had friends that actually helped me, but you dont really have friends that are helping you...

I suggest make new friends to take your mind off other things, maybe? Go out to a local pub and start talking to other people...

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

I don't think thats the case. I do have lots of friends around to help me through things but they don't do a very good job. I don't know why some of them treated me the way they did before. I can rely them on other things. But when it comes to this, they are just bad at it.

Am i being dumb?

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