Not good enough

Basically, my boyfriend is really intelligent and works really hard at school. He's doing his AS levels, and I'm doing A2. Whilst I work hard when I need to, I am looking at an A/B, a B/C and a D/E. He's basically looking at straight A's, give or take the odd B. At parents' evening last night, the head of sixth form (and also his english teacher - who is ALSO the one teacher with a total vendetta against me -) told his parents that his attitude has changed in the last 6 weeks (exactly how long she has known about our relationship for) and now his parents (who are really into the whole education thing-his mum's a teacher) are thinking that I'm a bad influence. So I'm starting to think maybe we shouldn't be together. I love him more than anything, and I'm prepared to let him go if he needs more time to study, but he won't. I feel so low lately, and I don't even like myself anymore. This parents' evening thing is just another in a long line of mistakes I've made. I screw up so much and then Callum (my boyfriend) seems to excell in everything, and he's also the kindest, most 'decent' guy I've ever met. I know I shouldn't compare myself to him but it's hard not to when everyone else does. My own mum constantly tells me how he'll leave me for a nice studious girl but I can't change who I am. I've always liked myself for who I am (I'm loud and fairly wild) but now I just don't even like myself. I don't really speak to my parents (my mum has mental problems and her time is divided between telling me she loves me and wants me to be happy and telling me she hates me and that I don't deserve nice things - like my boyfriend.) I have quite a few mates, which is good and they're all supportive but it just all seems to be getting too much. I get depressed quite often and I my Psychology teacher thinks I may have ADHD, so I'm seeing the doctor next week to see if I've got it. Don't know why I put that really. I'm just so hacked off and sick of feeling like second best. I seem to have developed an inferiority complex, and I'm usually so confident. I don't really know what I'm ratting on about, I'm just down. it helped to write all this down, even if no-one reads it. I realise that this sounds extremely self-pitious, but that's how I feel right now. I appreciate that there are many people worse off than me.

Reply 1

q1w2e3r4t5y

I sympathise. I had this feeling last year, but with a close friend of mine who has parents who want her to study hard and get into the best unis and get the best grades, and basically I felt like crap compared to her because I thought I'd be getting in the way and my parents even told me that I was a bad influence on her and that I keep phoning her too much.

Anyway, don't feel like your problems are less important than everyone elses. If something is making you feel depressed enough to write about it, then it is something important.

Everybody has inferiority issues at some point or another, it's just having to find that feeling that you like yourself for who you are and not constantly comparing yourself to other people. Nobody is a "better" person than another.

There must be a reason why he likes you and is your boyfriend. Many people like partners who are opposite in personality to them, he could be one of those people.

You say he works very hard at school. How boring would it be to work really hard, and then see your girlfriend who studies all the time? He needs a break from the studying, and going to meet a "wild" person like yourself probably makes the relationship more interesting.

Anyway, relationships are not all logical things. Even though some may see the logicality (sp?) in you breaking up with each other, you should take mostly your feelings into account. Your teachers and parents don't know how you feel about each other, only you do.

Reply 2

tetrahydrocannabinol.

Thanks for the nice reply. I just can't really stand myself anymore, and he's so supportive. I love that he's a great person, but when people tell me he's too good for me I get really annoyed. He was my best mate for ages before we went out, so we get on really well. He's kind of crazy and loud too but he manages to get amazing grades and not rub teachers and bosses up the wrong way (like I always do).

Reply 3

username47781

Ok first thing is your boyfriend is with you because he thinks the world of you, obviously some parents are like that and will think that girls are a bad influence on their son's life. However if he truely loves you he will stick by you and support you, and if you love him in return don't let all that crap spoil what you have.
Anyway your doing well at your AS Levels i'd die to have better GCSE'S And A Levels seriously i envy you at that.
As i said if he really loves you he won't leave you for another girl.

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