Relationships with friends back home whilst at uni...

I've known my best mate from home for about 6 or 7 years, and no matter how long we've spent not seeing each other (at times its been 8 or 9 months with her working full time and me being at uni 200 miles away) we have always had our friendship. We can pick up the phone any time after ages of no contact and we are still good mates.. just like always..

But she came over to stay with me last weekend and I'd been looking forward to seeing her for ages, but something told me she wasn't so thrilled to be here. She seemed a bit moody and passive, and everything I had done/bought for our weekend (i.e. the booze, cigarettes, munchies, dvds ect ect), she didn't seem remotely interested in at all.
It actually felt a bit awkward as we hadn't seen each other for so long, It was a challenge finding common ground about which we could talk. It was totally unexpected and the atmosphere upset me quite a lot.

I took her out into town on saturday night and after a drink in the first pub she said she had a headache and wanted to go home. On the way home she rang her boyfriend to tell him she missed him , wished he was here ect ect and when we got home she went straight to bed. :confused:

The following day her boyfriend called and told her she should go home because he felt lonely, and within an hour and a half he'd arrived to pick her up. :frown:

So she went home. And I was left wondering what the hell I'd done wrong.

I'm wondering whether its possible to keep any close relationships undamaged when you move away to university, is it just a sad fact that people grow apart when they want such different things in life?

Reply 1

white_haired_wizard

People do grow apart. People change due to their respective life chances/experiences....it's sad i guess, but the reality is, she has changed, you have changed...she's not the type of person she once was, you're not the person you were, you may well have a new best friend/set of friends, she has too...

Life progresses, it's only logical such things like this occur - life is not stationary, which is arguably a good, healthy, normal thing/progression.

Reply 2

blah0_o

sometimes time just changes people and they grow apart.. happened with me too.. i had gone away for a year and when i came back, my friends were still there but i had changed and there was just something different.. and its just not the same kind of friendship it had been.. sometimes people get closer and sometimes they just drift away.. it's just been happening to me too much in these last two year and the changes are so hard but after a while you realize that its just a part of life.. you cant help all the changes.. and its not always that people drift away with the distance.. ahh i think im not making any sense anymore.. im just saying that i dont think you did anything wrong.. i think you both changed and just kinda drifted apart.. maybe try talking to her about it.. maybe she really wasnt well or felt weird being with you after so long and didnt feel as close to you as she did before.. again thats happened to me too... hope that helps.. and try talking to her.. always helps.

Reply 3

BirchyGreen

I have lost contact with most of my friends from back home now i have been at uni for 3 years. I know what you mean, when you see them there is a certain awkwardness. People change and move on, i guess its just one of those things. Sad :frown:

Reply 4

blah0_o

yeah i've lost in touch with a LOT of people too... you meet new people. makes up for it! but i keep in touch with the people i really want to keep in touch with.. sooo... hmmm