The Student Room Group

Changing schools, losing friends

This is really bugging me now - I left my school to go to a different sixth form, and I promised I'd stay in touch with all my old friends and vice versa. Now I know it's gotta be difficult with us all at different schools, but it feels like it's *always* me calling them, texting, arranging to meet up - it's so annoying! They never make an effort to call or try and get together. Anyone had this problem before? It's weird, we were all so sad to be splitting up, and now it's like they don't even care enough to stay in touch. :mad:
Reply 1
Yeup when i moved schools, in the end ive only kept in touch with the few who still make an effort to keep in touch...
guess you learn who your real friends are :p:
Reply 2
lil_sweetie
This is really bugging me now - I left my school to go to a different sixth form, and I promised I'd stay in touch with all my old friends and vice versa. Now I know it's gotta be difficult with us all at different schools, but it feels like it's *always* me calling them, texting, arranging to meet up - it's so annoying! They never make an effort to call or try and get together. Anyone had this problem before? It's weird, we were all so sad to be splitting up, and now it's like they don't even care enough to stay in touch. :mad:


Did your friends stay on at your old school and go into the sixth form there?

If so, it could be that they might feel you were a bit of a traitor leaving and have bonded closer together without you. Or even that they have moved on with new friendships.

No matter - you are elsewhere now so make new friends. When you leave and go to uni you will eventually 'drift away' from school friends. That is the strange thing about friendships forged at uni - they tend to be life-long friendships whereas school friends aren't. :confused:
Leaving old friends, or leaving home, or for that matter leaving old jobs at times is difficult, since we are so attached to everyone around us, however it is all part of change which is the only constant, and we have to move on and embrace change.
:smile: :smile: :smile:
Reply 4
I know completely how you feel we've travelled loads and I've lost friends because of it, but it'll be alright in the end because you'll meet new people and Sarforaz is right, you really do learn who your real friends are.
Reply 5
Im in that stuation too. Im only in contact with 1 of my friends from my old school on a regular basis. I was the only person in my group of friends who left our old school (they are still there now). I think that if they arnt going to keep in cotact then you are going to have to do all the orangising and phoning. They'l soon get the idea that you want to keep in touch and hopefully will call you more. Try to concentrate on making friends in your new place and start doing more things with them.
Reply 6
im in the same situation but the different way round i stayed at 6th form at our school and they all went off to college and jobs. i also appear to be the only person bothered by this we do meet up but not very often and when we do it seems like we were not the same as we used to be which is a real shame as these were all such good friends. i however have made new friends and become closer to the friend who i had who also stayed but i do want my old friends. sorry that was not really advice just me remballing and venting frustration at the fact
Reply 7
It's just weird - we've mostly all scattered, and fine - we all make new friends, and true I've made some of the best friends I've ever had at my new school - that's all fine. It's just upsetting that they'll be so reluctant to meet up every once in a while.
Reply 8
yep, it's very true that you get to know who your real friends are as i'm in the same situation
Reply 9
yeah i had exactly the same problem. we all promised to keep in touch, now it seems like if i wanna speak to them i have to first, and then it seems like some massive chore for them to speak. they never invite me anywhere unless i ask what they are doing at weekends, etc.
Reply 10
i found the same from my group of close friends all of whom promised to stay intouch im still oly intouch with 1. i send them all regular email updates and all i get are forwards! i moved schools for 6th form due to leaving the country and moving to germany with the army. my best friend from uk still rings me etc and we visit each other. it was one way of finding out who my true friends were though.
Reply 11
lil_sweetie
This is really bugging me now - I left my school to go to a different sixth form, and I promised I'd stay in touch with all my old friends and vice versa. Now I know it's gotta be difficult with us all at different schools, but it feels like it's *always* me calling them, texting, arranging to meet up - it's so annoying! They never make an effort to call or try and get together. Anyone had this problem before? It's weird, we were all so sad to be splitting up, and now it's like they don't even care enough to stay in touch. :mad:


i've had this problem before...i moved country when i was in 8th grade...and for 3 months or so, i SO wanted to go back...i tried keeping in touch with my old friends, but they were being stand-offish... so i said f*** it lets move on... and i made new friends...

ok listen here's a piece of advice: no one cares about your social life as much as you do!

no one! not even your mom, no!

which means that those old friends are just that - OLD! (unless you're saying they're your childhood friends, then matters are different)

once you start making new friends in the new area and stop being nostalgic, you'll start forgetting old friends...but jus keepin in touch once in a while wouldnt hurt...jus an email, maybe...
lil_sweetie
This is really bugging me now - I left my school to go to a different sixth form, and I promised I'd stay in touch with all my old friends and vice versa. Now I know it's gotta be difficult with us all at different schools, but it feels like it's *always* me calling them, texting, arranging to meet up - it's so annoying! They never make an effort to call or try and get together. Anyone had this problem before? It's weird, we were all so sad to be splitting up, and now it's like they don't even care enough to stay in touch. :mad:

Yeah, I've had the same problem since we all left school. My so-called "friendship" group meet up and stuff during uni holidays but I'm never included and the only way we stay in touch is if I get in touch with them first. As someone said, it shows who your real friends are...!
you dont have to constantly meet up/talk to still be friends. it doesnt mean you are losing them.

recently i met up with 3 friends i havent seen in a year. we talked less then 10times in the year. the 3 of them are still in the same school and see each other like everyday. I found that we still have very much to talk about. it doesnt mean that they are not my true friends just because they are not totally involved in my daily life.
lil_sweetie
This is really bugging me now - I left my school to go to a different sixth form, and I promised I'd stay in touch with all my old friends and vice versa. Now I know it's gotta be difficult with us all at different schools, but it feels like it's *always* me calling them, texting, arranging to meet up - it's so annoying! They never make an effort to call or try and get together. Anyone had this problem before? It's weird, we were all so sad to be splitting up, and now it's like they don't even care enough to stay in touch. :mad:


oh same here. I always get pissed when I go back to my home country and am only around for three weeks but my "friends" all can't make it cos they're too "busy". Makes me wana scream I'M ONLY HERE FOR THREE WEEKS YOU CAN"T EVEN TAKE ONE DAY OFF TO SEE ME? yeah, I'm only in touch with a very small number of friends in my home country now.

moving really shows you who your real friends are
Reply 15
strawberry
oh same here. I always get pissed when I go back to my home country and am only around for three weeks but my "friends" all can't make it cos they're too "busy". Makes me wana scream I'M ONLY HERE FOR THREE WEEKS YOU CAN"T EVEN TAKE ONE DAY OFF TO SEE ME? yeah, I'm only in touch with a very small number of friends in my home country now.

moving really shows you who your real friends are

hahah i know what you mean.. i went on an exchange for a whole year and my friends kept saying they missed me and all that but when i finally came back, they didnt even have the time to meet me!! they kept saying they're busy n telling me they'd meet me on the weekend and it came and went n then i got frustrated and gave up.. also i had joint a new school and i found it hard to fit in again but after a while of trying things are okay now.. and im in touch with very few of my old school friends.. so i guess its just way to find out who cares and who doesnt..
blah0_o
hahah i know what you mean.. i went on an exchange for a whole year and my friends kept saying they missed me and all that but when i finally came back, they didnt even have the time to meet me!! they kept saying they're busy n telling me they'd meet me on the weekend and it came and went n then i got frustrated and gave up.. also i had joint a new school and i found it hard to fit in again but after a while of trying things are okay now.. and im in touch with very few of my old school friends.. so i guess its just way to find out who cares and who doesnt..


it is. I mean like...very few people on msn message me first anymore. Only those I considered my best friends message me first...usually with the usual teasing insults. :P gotta love those girls
I know how you feel. I'm studying abroad and before I left my friends promised to keep in touch and visit me. Guess what, they have done neither. I have made ALL the effort. When I wanted to meet up with them I had to go to where they would be at Christmas, and even then one b*tch decided it was too much effort to see me for one night and that she'd rather be with her boyfriend. I don't consider her a friend anymore, that's unforgivable in my book, mostly because she had kept promising to meet up. She didn't even have the balls to be honest.

What annoys me the most is they keep making excuses by saying they have loads of work, as if I don't!! I have the same requirements as them only the extra stress of doing it all through a foreign language, meeting new people, moving to a new country, etc! Most of them live at home and don't even have to do their washing! I know they don't mean to be so rude but they just have no idea of what it's like to even live away from their parents and no concept of what 'busy' really is. You can ALWAYS make time for your friends.
EXACTLY. I love you already! lol
It's often the way unfortunately, but just try and set up a regular night if you can. Or get them on MSN messenger. That's what I do.

I left my primary school and moved 200 miles for secondary school, and I lost contact with most my friends there, though through Friends Reunited I'm back in touch with one friend which is definitely cool.

I then left school to move 180 miles to uni, and I made sure that I talk to my mate's on MSN and we have a regular night at a local pub on the rock nite, so we can always meet up then.


It may seem like too much effort, but you'll be kicking yourself if you let your friends slip out of reach.