I caught my boyfriend on skype with another girl, help! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
So we have been together for just over a year and i came across a conversation on his skype with a random girl he met on the internet...it probably wouldnt have bothered me but the stuff that he was saying was just horrible, he was telling to take her clothes off and do things for him.

After i confronted him he was really upset and genuinely sorry saying he didnt want to loose me however i cant seem to get it out of my head. He's being the perfect boyfriend and i love him so much.

My main question is has this ever happened to anyone else, and if so how did you get over it?
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ct2k7
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#2
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wow - erm, honestly- I'm a bit speechless at the moment to say that it's going to be easy to get over it.
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PatheticVirgin
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#3
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#3
Give him another chance, he apologized and obviously regrets it.
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ilex_noemi
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#4
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#4
jeez, if my boyfriend did that he would be dumped immediately!

If you can forgive it and not think about it again/trust him to not do it again then your relationship could still work.
But honestly it would always be in my head and it's not worth being in a relationship if it is stressful.

It's up to you if you can cope with it or not. Perhaps give it some time and if it's still in your head then call it a day?
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major_mishap
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#5
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Depends if you can forgive/forget, what is much easier said than done.

Although if he's able to say those sort of things online, what're the risks of him actually doing it? sounds like the trust may be degraded by quite a bit there.
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sweeter than a cherry pie
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#6
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#6
Woah. I wouldn't be impressed by that, and would personally wonder what he'd do/may already have done with a girl in person... Once doing things online was no longer a thrill, he may seek the real thing.

BUT, if he seemed genuinely sorry then perhaps he is, and the shock of being caught, and associated possibility of losing you, may have made him realise how much he loves and wants to be with you.

Give it time, see if you can put it out of your mind, and if not, then perhaps reassess things...
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major_mishap
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#7
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#7
^^

This.

We all make mistakes at points in a relationship, if you feel that your partner is sorry and really means it, just reconcile, and see what exactly made your parter feel the way that they did, and see just how oyu can prevent it in the future.
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Llamageddon
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#8
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#8
Oh, to be young and feel loves cruel sting
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Jessveebs
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#9
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#9
I'd chuck him, but talking from experience, give him another chance. Just one more x
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fl4mers
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#10
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#10
I'd say have a conversation and find out how far he took things. Either way you're probably not going to like the answer, but if it was a case of skype chatting and left at that, it may just have been a form of sexual release that he didn't really see as real/ meaning anything. If he was actually video calling with the girl though, then that, I feel, would be a significant breach of trust. As people have said above though, you need to figure out if you can forgive him for what he's done and let him work his way back into your good books. I do think this deserves a little actual WORK on his part to get back in your good books if you are going to let him though. He needs to find a way to reestablish the trust that he broke, but if he can do that it'll probably be worth it for the both of you and make your relationship stronger as long as there's definitely no repeat.
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Vikki1805
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#11
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Nobody can make the decision for you, at the end of the day you will already have made the choice in your head as to whether or not you are going to give him another chance.
To immediately forgive and forget something like this, won't happen and it will take time, it will cause stress on your relationship and to get through it you will need to be extremely strong together as a couple, which is always made harder considering you probably feel your relationship is at it's weakest point right now and when you need it to be at it's strongest.

People do make mistakes, although it isn't an excuse, but if you really love him and you want it to work, then it's up to you as to whether or not you give him another chance, but be prepared that it could happen again and that for a while your trust will probably be at an all time low.

You also have to remember that if you choose to forgive someone, you have to do that, you can't hold their mistakes against them, you've got to learn to forgive and then try to forget.

Best of luck.
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jamboogy
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#12
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#12
A convo you "came across". Yeah, sounds like he's not the only one who isn't trustworthy.
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Anonymous #2
#13
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#13
From experience, I can say with some confidence that however upsetting uncovering something like this is, it is often just the tip of the iceberg. I've had long-term relationships with 2 serial cheaters (One was a 4 year relationship, had been cheating on me for at least 6 months, the other was a 2 year relationship, he was cheating for almost a year), and both times I had no idea (I'd say I was a pretty intelligent person, these men were maticulous at covering their tracks, in both cases the other girl (s) didn't know he had a girlfriend). Both times I found out by stumbling across "minor" things (and they swore it was a "one-off", loved me et cetera) and the full extent only emerged when I dug deeper.. My friends have told silmilar stories too..

If he has tendancies to be unfaithful, what you've seen won't be the full picture. I'm disappointed that I had to waste 6 years of my life to find that out the hard way. I'd say leave him.
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Studentus-anonymous
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
So we have been together for just over a year and i came across a conversation on his skype with a random girl he met on the internet...it probably wouldnt have bothered me but the stuff that he was saying was just horrible, he was telling to take her clothes off and do things for him.

After i confronted him he was really upset and genuinely sorry saying he didnt want to loose me however i cant seem to get it out of my head. He's being the perfect boyfriend and i love him so much.

My main question is has this ever happened to anyone else, and if so how did you get over it?
Not that perfect then, dump him.
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denteddental
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#15
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I would break the computer/phone that he was on then chuck him out the window! And tell him to f*** off!!!!
Don't worry he's a t**t and he does not deserve you!! xx
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kikimckenzie
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#16
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#16
"He's being the perfect boyfriend", perfect boyfriends do this kind of thing? :confused:
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mobyfan101
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#17
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Well, what he did was probably verging on, if not was, cybersex. He was trying to get intimate with another girl, even though he never physically touched her. You deserve better. Dump him. Console yourself with the fact that he's treated you badly and you're worth a heck of a lot more than him. :hugs:
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NOBODY12345678
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#18
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#18
Hi.I have experiencedone the exact same situation. It's been bout roughly 1 month, maybe a little more since I for gave him for ir what he's done.Every single day I still have visions of the things he did, what makes it worse for me is that she's very young and he kinda looks like a pervert. What can I say I love him. It's been a all love end romance since we movedon from it allthough I still being up little things HTC trigger the whole thing that happened. Right t now I am having problems with him... The only advice I can give you is to ask yourself do you actually want somebody who have smelly went behind your back and seeked you look for someone else's private parts. Someone who asked to sexually play with another woman. I forgave my bf because he told me he was truly sorry for what he did. h tol me that it wasn't him and that it was just a little stupid mistake.But I can that'll ll our know that hearing that sounds mazing, sounds like you truly really getting somewhere with him. Yu thank god that he didn't turn out and say oh **** you I don't want you anywayy. I felt for is sorry ass so hard. Lwt me tell you something. He made my life he'll from what he did... And now that I forgave him guess what ????HE STILL ****ING MAKES MY LIFE HE'LL AND YOU NEED TO ****ING GET RID OF HIM !!!! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
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