Leaving university to get a job Watch

Luxray
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Hi everyone, my dad told me today he is seriously considering leaving us and my mum, meaning she would become a single mother with four young children and me (over 18).

So I just want to prepare and am now considering dropping out of uni to search for a full time job to help us survive because she won't be able to get a job

Can someone tell me what would happen to my student loans and things? Would I get any sort of qualification for completing two out of my three years of university? Thanks for reading this
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alexmagpie
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Your mother can get various benefits, and surely she can do some kind of work? Your dad would also have to pay some sort of maintenance.

Personally, I think you'd really regret dropping out of uni. Your education should be a priority, and I'm sure your parents would agree on that. Can you not work part time alongside your degree and give your mum what you can?
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moorbre
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wouldnt you be better off finishing your degree, getting a better job at the end hopefully and your mum claim benefits ? ( if possible ) just an idea ?
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zxh800
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(Original post by Luxray)
Hi everyone, my dad told me today he is seriously considering leaving us and my mum, meaning she would become a single mother with four young children and me (over 18).

So I just want to prepare and am now considering dropping out of uni to search for a full time job to help us survive because she won't be able to get a job

Can someone tell me what would happen to my student loans and things? Would I get any sort of qualification for completing two out of my three years of university? Thanks for reading this
Judging by your signature, you only have a year left? Pushing through that year and graduating with a good degree would really put you in a much better position.
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Luxray
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(Original post by alexmagpie)
Your mother can get various benefits, and surely she can do some kind of work? Your dad would also have to pay some sort of maintenance.

Personally, I think you'd really regret dropping out of uni. Your education should be a priority, and I'm sure your parents would agree on that. Can you not work part time alongside your degree and give your mum what you can?
My mum doesnt speak fluent english and has no qualifications and no work experience so her getting a job is as likely as me learning to fly
I don't think she would accept the money my dad would give. I do enjoy uni but when something like this happens, I guess family becomes more important. I don't even like my parents but its unfair for my siblings to have a crap life.
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Luxray
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(Original post by zxh800)
Judging by your signature, you only have a year left? Pushing through that year and graduating with a good degree would really put you in a much better position.
I know man but my mum can't cope looking after 4 kids at home and financially supporting them. It would be a huge task. I cried a little just an hour ago because I've spent so long on getting to uni and studying and its all for nothing.
Does anyone know if I do get a qualification for doing two years of uni, something would be better than nothing I guess =/
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flown_muse
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(Original post by Luxray)
My mum doesnt speak fluent english and has no qualifications and no work experience so her getting a job is as likely as me learning to fly
I don't think she would accept the money my dad would give. I do enjoy uni but when something like this happens, I guess family becomes more important. I don't even like my parents but its unfair for my siblings to have a crap life.
Eh, it's unfair on you?

Being a mother means you should put your children first, so she better freaking take the money.

If worse comes to worst, get a job and work what hours you can, apply for hardship loans, anything. You just need to push through one more year.

Your mum should be supporting you no matter what. You can help her later in life as much as you want once you have a solid job.

Best of luck.
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littlemissmidget123
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your mum can get support, it may not be much but will be something and survivable. you would do better in getting a degree then working as you will probably end up in a better job with a better salary. your dad may help and contribute financially just because he has left does not mean that he does not care about you. i assume that you live at uni now, so your mum is capable of looking after the younger kids physically, but perhaps she needs some support from friends/family, which you may need to push her to ask if this is the case. also you are not responsible for your mum and siblings - that is her duty, you should focus on bettering your future, sure you can care, but maybe just save any money you can from uni or get a part time job and still go to uni. do not drop out of uni until you have exhausted all other avenues first, and even then i suggest that you seriously think long and hard about it.
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moorbre
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(Original post by Luxray)
I know man but my mum can't cope looking after 4 kids at home and financially supporting them. It would be a huge task. I cried a little just an hour ago because I've spent so long on getting to uni and studying and its all for nothing.
Does anyone know if I do get a qualification for doing two years of uni, something would be better than nothing I guess =/
Talk to your mum about it, I'm sure she would want you to finish your degree...

Otherwise it might be possible for you to do your 3rd year another time maybe...

But I would really finish your degree first, you have to look after yourself before you can look after others
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icancount23
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I really think you should finish your last year. How old are your siblings? If you get your degree, your earning potential will be a lot more then if you dropped out now. You could support them more in a years time. Could any relatives help your mum out?
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Luxray
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(Original post by flown_muse)
Eh, it's unfair on you?

Being a mother means you should put your children first, so she better freaking take the money.

If worse comes to worst, get a job and work what hours you can, apply for hardship loans, anything. You just need to push through one more year.

Your mum should be supporting you no matter what. You can help her later in life as much as you want once you have a solid job.

Best of luck.
Even if I did continue with uni, I know my mum wouldnt be happy about it and others would wonder why haven't I dropped out to help provide for the family. A year is a long time, four kids, a mortgage, bills...I don't know if me getting a part time job (which seem to be so hard to find anyway!) and any money she receives from the government/father would cover it.


(Original post by icancount23)
I really think you should finish your last year. How old are your siblings? If you get your degree, your earning potential will be a lot more then if you dropped out now. You could support them more in a years time. Could any relatives help your mum out?
My youngest sibling is one and the oldest is 15. So they are quite young. My mum has burnt many ties with her relatives and most live far away from us so couldn't help us anyway. I would love to finish my degree but I really do wonder if my family could cope for one year.
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College_Dropout
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Not being harsh or anything, tell you're dad to grow a pair and support his family instead of running off leaving you and your mum 4 young kids, what a coward. What ever happens, good luck. You're in a very hard situation but i would urge you to re consider leaving uni. Goodluck.
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A.J10
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(Original post by Luxray)
I know man but my mum can't cope looking after 4 kids at home and financially supporting them.
My mother managed it for years; my sister has special needs and social services never got round to finding any sort of child minder for her so my mum couldn't work. Just make sure she claims everything that she can. If you need the money, that's what it's there for. Don't forget mainenance payments from the father as well.

On the topic of university, don't quit now. Think of all the thousands of hours of work you've done to get to this point, you'd be mad to quit now.
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flown_muse
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(Original post by Luxray)
Even if I did continue with uni, I know my mum wouldnt be happy about it and others would wonder why haven't I dropped out to help provide for the family. A year is a long time, four kids, a mortgage, bills...I don't know if me getting a part time job (which seem to be so hard to find anyway!) and any money she receives from the government/father would cover it.

My youngest sibling is one and the oldest is 15. So they are quite young. My mum has burnt many ties with her relatives and most live far away from us so couldn't help us anyway. I would love to finish my degree but I really do wonder if my family could cope for one year.
The thing is, if you dropped out now, you might not even get a job! With this current economy, many people are having issues. You might drop out only to find you sit unemployed with nothing to do.

Your mum will get child benefit for each child. She can apply for JSA while she looks for jobs. She will get maintenance from your Dad for each child under 18.

You will get student loans. You can apply for hardship funds at uni. You can try to get a part time job. Any extra money you can send back to your mum if you want to.

If your dad does leave, they'll have to start splitting things, including the house. Therefore, your mum could easily use her half to buy a smaller, less expensive place, or as a big pot of money to use for renting etc til she gets sorted out.

Yes, it will all be hard, but it's possible.

You don't even know for sure that your Dad will leave yet, so don't make any hasty decisions. Do you live at home or uni normally?
I'm a student with a mortgage and a part time job, it's doable.
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miniteen
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What has your dad said? Would he be willing to finance your education?
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Luxray
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(Original post by flown_muse)
The thing is, if you dropped out now, you might not even get a job! With this current economy, many people are having issues. You might drop out only to find you sit unemployed with nothing to do.

Your mum will get child benefit for each child. She can apply for JSA while she looks for jobs. She will get maintenance from your Dad for each child under 18.

You will get student loans. You can apply for hardship funds at uni. You can try to get a part time job. Any extra money you can send back to your mum if you want to.

If your dad does leave, they'll have to start splitting things, including the house. Therefore, your mum could easily use her half to buy a smaller, less expensive place, or as a big pot of money to use for renting etc til she gets sorted out.

Yes, it will all be hard, but it's possible.

You don't even know for sure that your Dad will leave yet, so don't make any hasty decisions. Do you live at home or uni normally?
I'm a student with a mortgage and a part time job, it's doable.
I really am hoping my parents work this out and my dad thinks about us and tries to improve things with my mum who also has a few issues that she needs to sort out herself. I just want to be prepared for the worst cased scenario, not making any final decisions just yet.

Anyway thanks guys, if anything bad happens in the next few weeks. I will try updating you all.
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Luxray
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(Original post by A.J10)
My mother managed it for years; my sister has special needs and social services never got round to finding any sort of child minder for her so my mum couldn't work. Just make sure she claims everything that she can. If you need the money, that's what it's there for. Don't forget mainenance payments from the father as well.

On the topic of university, don't quit now. Think of all the thousands of hours of work you've done to get to this point, you'd be mad to quit now.
I can understand having to look after a special needs child is hard, but I do wonder if looking after four kids including two who are under the age of 5 is harder. But thank you, the fact that your mum has been managing does give me a little optimism incase my dad does leave us.
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Venom123
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Stop being silly man you have a year or 2 left, ensure you do well. Graduate quickly attempt to get a grad job. Then you can start thinking about providing for your family. As sad as it sounds they will just have to 'get by' for now.
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flown_muse
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(Original post by Luxray)
I can understand having to look after a special needs child is hard, but I do wonder if looking after four kids including two who are under the age of 5 is harder. But thank you, the fact that your mum has been managing does give me a little optimism incase my dad does leave us.
Let me put this in perspective for you.

My mother had 4 kids under 8 when dad left. She did a degree, worked nights, and looked after us 4.

When I was 8, she graduated, got a teaching job.

When I was 10, she got cancer. Me and my 12 year old brother looked after the household, cleaning, cooking etc until we were 17 and 19.

She had breast cancer, which progressed to lungs, bones and brain tumours. Due to the brain issues, she was not allowed to drive.

She worked in high school teaching every day, never had a sick day, while undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatment, up until 6 months before she died.

I'm sorry, but stop making excuses for your mum. Determination is all that is needed. She had all these kids knowing that the future is never sure. It is up to her, and your dad to provide for them, not you. If you want to help, get through the next year, then graduate, kick ass and help from that point.
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SubAtomic
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(Original post by A.J10)
Think of all the thousands of hours of work you've done to get to this point
Not to mention the thousands of pounds of debt you are likely already in.

Stick with it for a year, no way quit Uni, your future is more important because you likely have longer to live. As long as there's food, running water and shelter nothing else really matters.

If there is a mortgage to pay maybe mortgage insurance will cover, if not get rid of the property so you can concentrate on your final year rather than working for pretty much nothing. Trying to pay a mortgage on a pittance is futile. May as well have done with it now and save all the stress.

If you do quit you will always wonder what if?

Hope it all works out whatever happens.
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