Pretty girls have it harder? Watch

Millie228
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As we all know, men care about appearance, regularly check out hot women and want a gf/wife to take care of themselves.

The background is that I just read this article:
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2009/0...ave-it-harder/

I have noticed - and wonder if anyone else has - that the very best looking women are not necessarily luckier in love than others. Of course part of that is that more matters than looks when it comes to relationships - if being a "10" would guarantee love, then we wouldn't see the most beautiful actresses or top models divorcing all the time, but they do.
But I'm talking about women who are striking AND have pleasant personalities / intelligent. I know men who are very attractive/high quality who has been dating stunning women for some time, but now seem to have settled down with girls who are pretty, but not stunning. Of course there has to be compatibility, but I find that many men seem to settle down with women who are less attractive, yet not sweeter or more intelligent than women they dated before.
Keep in mind I am not complaining about this, it's just an observation.
I read somewhere from a research: "If women are too attractive, men stay in their cerebral cortexes. They'll date beautiful women to feel envy from their male friends. They have no reason to shift into their limbic brains and emotionally connect"
I know some men can be hesitant about walking up to a stunning girl. I also heard a guy say that it would be intimidating for him to be with a "9" or "10" as he feared she'd leave him for someone else and didn't like all the men making a move on her. Some men might also assume that a supermodel-looking girl spend more time on her appearance, and have less of a personality. I also think men are likely to think beautiful women are high maintenance?
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hiding12
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(Original post by Millie228)
As we all know, men care about appearance, regularly check out hot women and want a gf/wife to take care of themselves.
But I have noticed - and wonder if anyone else has - that the very best looking women are not necessarily luckier in love than others. Of course part of that is that more matters than looks when it comes to relationships - if being a "10" would guarantee love, then we wouldn't see the most beautiful actresses or top models divorcing all the time, but they do.
But I'm talking about women who are striking AND have pleasant personalities / intelligent. I know men who are very attractive/high quality who has been dating stunning women for some time, but now seem to have settled down with girls who are pretty, but not stunning. They often have the same "look", a sweet face but no extraordinary beauty. Of course there has to be compatibility, but I find that many men seem to settle down with women who are less attractive, yet not sweeter or more intelligent than women they dated before.
Keep in mind I am not complaining about this, it's just an observation.
I read somewhere from a research: "If women are too attractive, men stay in their cerebral cortexes. They'll date beautiful women to feel envy from their male friends. They have no reason to shift into their limbic brains and emotionally connect"
I know some men can be hesitant about walking up to a stunning girl. I also heard a guy say that it would be intimidating for him to be with a "9" or "10" as he feared she'd leave him for someone else and didn't like all the men making a move on her. Some men might also assume that a supermodel-looking girl spend more time on her appearance, and have less of a personality. But if two girls had the same personal qualities but one were gorgeous and one "pretty", I wonder what the background is for choosing the latter?
I wonder what peoples take on this is here?
prob cos a lot of these ''beautiful' women are very self obsessed and shallow and usually attract the wrong type of guy. I would prefer someone who was 'pretty' with other qualities than a 'beautiful' vacuous *****
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Millie228
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(Original post by hiding12)
prob cos a lot of these ''beautiful' women are very self obsessed and shallow and usually attract the wrong type of guy. I would prefer someone who was 'pretty' with other qualities than a 'beautiful' vacuous *****
That's why I included "with the same personal qualities"! I am obviously not counting *****es, it is clear why they are single.
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Jakeh
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(Original post by Millie228)
As we all know, men care about appearance, regularly check out hot women and want a gf/wife to take care of themselves.
But I have noticed - and wonder if anyone else has - that the very best looking women are not necessarily luckier in love than others. Of course part of that is that more matters than looks when it comes to relationships - if being a "10" would guarantee love, then we wouldn't see the most beautiful actresses or top models divorcing all the time, but they do.
But I'm talking about women who are striking AND have pleasant personalities / intelligent. I know men who are very attractive/high quality who has been dating stunning women for some time, but now seem to have settled down with girls who are pretty, but not stunning. They often have the same "look", a sweet face but no extraordinary beauty. Of course there has to be compatibility, but I find that many men seem to settle down with women who are less attractive, yet not sweeter or more intelligent than women they dated before.
Keep in mind I am not complaining about this, it's just an observation.
I read somewhere from a research: "If women are too attractive, men stay in their cerebral cortexes. They'll date beautiful women to feel envy from their male friends. They have no reason to shift into their limbic brains and emotionally connect"
I know some men can be hesitant about walking up to a stunning girl. I also heard a guy say that it would be intimidating for him to be with a "9" or "10" as he feared she'd leave him for someone else and didn't like all the men making a move on her. Some men might also assume that a supermodel-looking girl spend more time on her appearance, and have less of a personality. But if two girls had the same personal qualities but one were gorgeous and one "pretty", I wonder what the background is for choosing the latter?
I wonder what peoples take on this is here?

Maybe men feel the beautiful women could be more "high maintenance" and harder work than those just underneath, maybe the man feels that because the 10 is so beautiful he doubts he can keep hold of such a stunning woman.

I find beautiful women to be more intimidating in a sense because they are so beautiful you self doubt if you could be with someone like that i guess.
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thompsonic7
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I think being incredibly attractive people intimidate potential partners, meaning the attractive-but less so- people are more likely to be approached, due to men (and women) judging them to be more attainable.

Another possible explanation is that having a very good looking partner could lead to more jealousy in a relationship, with partners perhaps assuming that as they are more desired, they are more likely to cheat.
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hiding12
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(Original post by Millie228)
As we all know, men care about appearance, regularly check out hot women and want a gf/wife to take care of themselves.
But I have noticed - and wonder if anyone else has - that the very best looking women are not necessarily luckier in love than others. Of course part of that is that more matters than looks when it comes to relationships - if being a "10" would guarantee love, then we wouldn't see the most beautiful actresses or top models divorcing all the time, but they do.
But I'm talking about women who are striking AND have pleasant personalities / intelligent. I know men who are very attractive/high quality who has been dating stunning women for some time, but now seem to have settled down with girls who are pretty, but not stunning. They often have the same "look", a sweet face but no extraordinary beauty. Of course there has to be compatibility, but I find that many men seem to settle down with women who are less attractive, yet not sweeter or more intelligent than women they dated before.
Keep in mind I am not complaining about this, it's just an observation.
I read somewhere from a research: "If women are too attractive, men stay in their cerebral cortexes. They'll date beautiful women to feel envy from their male friends. They have no reason to shift into their limbic brains and emotionally connect"
I know some men can be hesitant about walking up to a stunning girl. I also heard a guy say that it would be intimidating for him to be with a "9" or "10" as he feared she'd leave him for someone else and didn't like all the men making a move on her. Some men might also assume that a supermodel-looking girl spend more time on her appearance, and have less of a personality. But if two girls had the same personal qualities but one were gorgeous and one "pretty", I wonder what the background is for choosing the latter?
I wonder what peoples take on this is here?
well yes maybe men are intimidated by women who are too attractive. Then again, women care about looks in men as men do women so all other things the same, you would expect more attractive women to have more options but that doesn't mean they always choose the right men
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Millie228
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(Original post by hiding12)
well yes maybe men are intimidated by women who are too attractive. Then again, women care about looks in men as men do women so all other things the same, you would expect more attractive women to have more options but that doesn't mean they always choose the right men
Women care about a man's appearance to an extent, but not the same way men look for it in women. Men are the more visual sex, which means that a man can compensate for a lack of natural beauty with confidence, charisma, success, money etc. Seeing beautiful women with less physically attractive men is normal.
I just wonder if there reason for women to not always try to improve their appearance if they are already in a certain 'league'.
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Chumbaniya
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(Original post by Millie228)
As we all know, men care about appearance, regularly check out hot women and want a gf/wife to take care of themselves.
But I have noticed - and wonder if anyone else has - that the very best looking women are not necessarily luckier in love than others. Of course part of that is that more matters than looks when it comes to relationships - if being a "10" would guarantee love, then we wouldn't see the most beautiful actresses or top models divorcing all the time, but they do.
But I'm talking about women who are striking AND have pleasant personalities / intelligent.
This generalises further, and is something overlooked by people caught up in being envious of the looks of others: being attractive doesn't necessarily make you any happier. When it comes to relationships, you'll generally find standards rise with your own looks, so it's not really any easier to find the right people, and there are plenty of problems associated with receiving too much attention just as there are with receiving too little. I suspect the determining factor, in most cases, of how successful people are in relationships is how friendly they are with new people, and how good a judge of character they are.

(Original post by hiding12)
prob cos a lot of these ''beautiful' women are very self obsessed and shallow and usually attract the wrong type of guy. I would prefer someone who was 'pretty' with other qualities than a 'beautiful' vacuous *****
The standard fallacy based on my old enemy, the 'conservation of qualities' rule. There is no ration of good qualities that each person has that results in attractive people being lumbered with unpleasant personalities. In my experience, the most beautiful women I know are also some of the most kind. For every attractive woman who is a 'vacuous *****' I'd venture that there is at least one ugly woman who is bitter and mean - some people are just nice, and some people just aren't. I don't think looks really play a role.

I suspect you might be talking about women who actually aren't at all attractive but become what certain sections of society consider 'hot' (rather than beautiful) through excessive cosmetic effort, in which case you may have more of a point as putting in this effort does indicate that a person may be self-centred.
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hiding12
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(Original post by Millie228)
Women care about a man's appearance to an extent, but not the same way men look for it in women. Men are the more visual sex, which means that a man can compensate for a lack of natural beauty with confidence, charisma, success, money etc. Seeing beautiful women with less physically attractive men is normal.
I just wonder if there reason for women to not always try to improve their appearance if they are already in a certain 'league'.
Actually, I think you'll find that both genders have a minimum attractiveness level for the opposite sexw, which is similar for each gender. Its no coincidence that the men I know who are the best looking get the most women, even if they're not that confident, they will still get more attention. But obv men can attract some women through wealth as well. I don't quite know what you mean by the last point
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hiding12
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(Original post by Chumbaniya)
This generalises further, and is something overlooked by people caught up in being envious of the looks of others: being attractive doesn't necessarily make you any happier. When it comes to relationships, you'll generally find standards rise with your own looks, so it's not really any easier to find the right people, and there are plenty of problems associated with receiving too much attention just as there are with receiving too little. I suspect the determining factor, in most cases, of how successful people are in relationships is how friendly they are with new people, and how good a judge of character they are.



The standard fallacy based on my old enemy, the 'conservation of qualities' rule. There is no ration of good qualities that each person has that results in attractive people being lumbered with unpleasant personalities. In my experience, the most beautiful women I know are also some of the most kind. For every attractive woman who is a 'vacuous *****' I'd venture that there is at least one ugly woman who is bitter and mean - some people are just nice, and some people just aren't. I don't think looks really play a role.

I suspect you might be talking about women who actually aren't at all attractive but become what certain sections of society consider 'hot' (rather than beautiful) through excessive cosmetic effort, in which case you may have more of a point as putting in this effort does indicate that a person may be self-centred.

I think you're right to a certain extent, just like there are some 'ugly' women who are unpleasant individuals. Very attractive women either tend to be very nice or very shallow as they are valued and rely on their looks
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Tedaus
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Or, maybe, and this is gonna be tough for you to understand, but maybe guys AREN'T just interested in looks? Maybe men aren't as shallow and superficial as you seem to think. Maybe men prefer nice girls and aren't as fussed about how women look when it comes to having a relationship with a girl, a lot like girls do with guys.

Crazy, right?
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Millie228
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(Original post by Tedaus)
Or, maybe, and this is gonna be tough for you to understand, but maybe guys AREN'T just interested in looks? Maybe men aren't as shallow and superficial as you seem to think. Maybe men prefer nice girls and aren't as fussed about how women look when it comes to having a relationship with a girl, a lot like girls do with guys.

Crazy, right?
You obviously didn't read the post. I wasn't referring to attractive women who are stuck up or have unappealing personalities. It's an all-else-equal scenario.
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Tedaus
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(Original post by Millie228)
You obviously didn't read the post. I wasn't referring to attractive women who are stuck up or have unappealing personalities. It's an all-else-equal scenario.
I did read the post and you made a clear distinction between "beautiful girls" and "nice girls", as though they were mutually exclusive. That's not even my point though.

If a guy likes a girl, looks will soon become irrelevant and he will be attracted to her no matter what. It's not about looks when it comes to relationships, people don't seem to understand this.
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Millie228
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(Original post by Tedaus)
I did read the post and you made a clear distinction between "beautiful girls" and "nice girls", as though they were mutually exclusive. That's not even my point though.

If a guy likes a girl, looks will soon become irrelevant and he will be attracted to her no matter what. It's not about looks when it comes to relationships, people don't seem to understand this.
For most men, looks attract, personality makes them stay. But of course some think differently (depending on their options I assume).
I did not make a distinction between beautiful and nice girls. I made it clear that it puzzles me why I know several women with amazing looks and great, sweet personalities don't always seem to have it easy with men.
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hiding12
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(Original post by Millie228)
For most men, looks attract, personality makes them stay. But of course some think differently (depending on their options I assume).
I did not make a distinction between beautiful and nice girls. I made it clear that it puzzles me why I know several women with amazing looks and great, sweet personalities don't always seem to have it easy with men.
Isn't it exactly the same with women, looks attract and personality also makes them stay. You're in denial, stop trying to pretend women are any less shallow than men cos its bull****
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Millie228
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(Original post by hiding12)
Isn't it exactly the same with women, looks attract and personality also makes them stay. You're in denial, stop trying to pretend women are any less shallow than men cos its bull****
Good evening bitter.
Men and women are both shallow, some more than others, but women are usually more shallow on materialistic levels and in regards to social status whereas men are more shallow when it comes to looks.
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hiding12
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(Original post by Millie228)
Good evening bitter.
Men and women are both shallow, some more than others, but women are usually more shallow on materialistic levels and in regards to social status whereas men are more shallow when it comes to looks.
Im not bitter you're just talking bull****, yes obv money matters to women more in men than vice versa but at the end of the day, different people want different things, I know more attractive men who have gone out with less attractive women and once again vice versa. I dont think anyone really understands the point of this thread, lol
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Millie228
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(Original post by hiding12)
Im not bitter you're just talking bull****, yes obv money matters to women more in men than vice versa but at the end of the day, different people want different things, I know more attractive men who have gone out with less attractive women and once again vice versa. I dont think anyone really understands the point of this thread, lol
Yeah I get that biology and gender differences get a little complicated for you. If you're not interested in it, please go away.
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hiding12
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(Original post by Millie228)
Yeah I get that biology and gender differences get a little complicated for you. If you're not interested in it, please go away.
lol, not too complicated for me. Just that everyone else seems as confused as me about this incoherent thread you started
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Lucia.
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I have a guy friend who used to date models. He said that they were much more insecure than less attractive women he's dated. He also knows a stunning girl who's not very intelligent.

I reckon that really stunning girls tend to attract more of the alpha male type because they're less afraid of rejection. But there aren't many alpha males.

I do think that people make assumptions when they see attractive women. I'm more average looking myself but I don't hate on attractive women, nor do I feel the need to compete with them.

If there is that problem of being approached, then I think these women would benefit from making friendly approaches to make it absolutely clear that they're interested. I think this is even difficult for a more average girl such as myself to play. I hardly ever get approached but when I make moves, guys show more interest in me.

And if indeed, there's a guy who rejects you because you're beautiful, it's more a reflection on their insecurities than it is on you. If a man is secure enough in himself, he wouldn't use that type of rationalisation to reject someone. You will find the right guy.
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