My boyfriend is going on a double date with another women can i be upset? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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My boyfriend cancelled seeing me again tommorw night to go out for dinner with an old friend, im upset about that for one as he hasnt seen me in 3 weeks yet seems to have plenty of time to go out clubbing etc he is always apparantly busy in the last 24 days he has seen me for 3 hours.

Anyway this old friend is a femal friend he regulary goes out for dinner with which I have no problem whatsoever with, my boyfriend has a friend who is literally a dog on heat, he shags anything that moves and tries is on with anything female. Apprantly after their football training my boyfriend bumped into his femal friend and her best friend. As a result my boyfreinds male friend wants to go out with this other girl, so said to my bf could he sort out a date, so now my bf his female friend, his guy friend and this girl are all going out for dinner and then clubbing. My boyfriend said it was a double date, im quite upset to be frank that a) he hasnt even had time to see me but b) he'll be acting all couply with this friend and there be spending all night togther. His friend said he just wanted to see if he could have sex with this girl so theres obviously going to be alot of flirting etc.


I just said have a nice time bt im really really hurt with him and his friend as tbh im his girlfriend and im just meant to accept his double date, im not clingy at all i have no issues with his female friends he's out with them alot but i guess im really upset that he seems to put this stupid double date before me and my feelings and before seeing me .


I guess what im asking is would you be okay with your partner going om a double date with a friend of the opposite sex
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ilex_noemi
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He shouldnt be dating at all when he is with you?? You're acting like a pushover sorry! Say something to him, make sure he knows its not right. The fact that he's even calling it a date and wanting to act couply with her is really wrong! How can you just let him do that?..
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For The Love Of Giraffe
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He's out of line. If it was just a casual hang out, that's okay, but treating it as a date is wrong. What's more is that he cancelled on you for it when you've barely seen him recently!

You need to talk to him or he'll never make the effort to see you or to ever put you first. Also if his friend wants to have sex so much, he can find a girl himself! It's not up to your boyfriend to bail on you so he can get sex for his friend!

It's good you give him space for friends but he needs to then respect plans he makes with you.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my ST25i
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brunettegirl92
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he really should be making time for you, and as for going on this 'double date'!? if his mate wanted to meet this girl, he should either take her out on a proper date, or meet as a group with her, the friend him and you - as you are his girlfriend and he shouldn't be going out on dates with other girls.

i am quite laid back about flirting etc - its natural, being in a relationship doesn't make other attractive people disappear, and it is meaningless. that freedom shows trust and strength in a relationship if it isn't taken too far. so if he made an effort to see you more and the relationship was strong and stable, it might be acceptable, but he hasn't seen you in 3 weeks and is now going on a double date? that is wierd.

did he call it a double date - do the girls know it is a date and do they know he has a gf?

how long til he has more double dates and decides he likes her friend.

tell him to get his arse to your place right now and have a serious talk, or he can kiss the relationship good bye.
he he comes, tell him the behaviour is unnacceptable and he is to treat you prperly, and hopefull it will sort out this rough patch.

if he doesn't come, ditch him because if he isn't willing to see you once in 3 weeks to save the relationship he isn't worth your time.
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Flyingaround
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend cancelled seeing me again tommorw night to go out for dinner with an old friend, im upset about that for one as he hasnt seen me in 3 weeks yet seems to have plenty of time to go out clubbing etc he is always apparantly busy in the last 24 days he has seen me for 3 hours.

Anyway this old friend is a femal friend he regulary goes out for dinner with which I have no problem whatsoever with, my boyfriend has a friend who is literally a dog on heat, he shags anything that moves and tries is on with anything female. Apprantly after their football training my boyfriend bumped into his femal friend and her best friend. As a result my boyfreinds male friend wants to go out with this other girl, so said to my bf could he sort out a date, so now my bf his female friend, his guy friend and this girl are all going out for dinner and then clubbing. My boyfriend said it was a double date, im quite upset to be frank that a) he hasnt even had time to see me but b) he'll be acting all couply with this friend and there be spending all night togther. His friend said he just wanted to see if he could have sex with this girl so theres obviously going to be alot of flirting etc.


I just said have a nice time bt im really really hurt with him and his friend as tbh im his girlfriend and im just meant to accept his double date, im not clingy at all i have no issues with his female friends he's out with them alot but i guess im really upset that he seems to put this stupid double date before me and my feelings and before seeing me .


I guess what im asking is would you be okay with your partner going om a double date with a friend of the opposite sex
I'll go out with you while he's doing that
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Terence_A.
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(Original post by xXHolly_90Xx)
He shouldnt be dating at all when he is with you?? You're acting like a pushover sorry! Say something to him, make sure he knows its not right. The fact that he's even calling it a date and wanting to act couply with her is really wrong! How can you just let him do that?..

Yes, I think you need to be more assertive here. Any of my ex's would flip-out at this! Why can't his friend just go out with the girl on his own? As this girls says, any kind of 'date' with another girl, especially one that involves drnking, is pretty suspect, or damnright thoughtless.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Terence_A.)
Yes, I think you need to be more assertive here. Any of my ex's would flip-out at this! Why can't his friend just go out with the girl on his own? As this girls says, any kind of 'date' with another girl, especially one that involves drnking, is pretty suspect, or damnright thoughtless.
I just dont know what to say there all a fair bit older than me and I just think they look at me like the silly little girl, I dont want to look clingy either I did say to him in a jokey way shame i wont see you again as your being to busy dating and he just replied saying 'your being mean, why cant you just appriciate everything I do for you '
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GPH92
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Youre being taken for a huge mug. He goes on regular dinners with this girl and now he has the audacity to call it a date infront of you. You need to stand up for yourself and kick this ******** to the curb.
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Terence_A.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just dont know what to say there all a fair bit older than me and I just think they look at me like the silly little girl, I dont want to look clingy either I did say to him in a jokey way shame i wont see you again as your being to busy dating and he just replied saying 'your being mean, why cant you just appriciate everything I do for you '

I'm can't really draw major conclusions over the internet, but what I would say is that you should avoid being fooled by the facade of age. Maybe say something like: "I'm not very comfortable with you going on drinking dates with other women when you have bearly made any time for me, what would you do if I did the same thing?". However, he maybe telling the truth, so judge the guy fairly!
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BVR7
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
I'll go out with you while he's doing that
Desperate much?? :boring:
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soxygirl
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just dont know what to say there all a fair bit older than me and I just think they look at me like the silly little girl, I dont want to look clingy either I did say to him in a jokey way shame i wont see you again as your being to busy dating and he just replied saying 'your being mean, why cant you just appriciate everything I do for you '
You have every right to be upset. You're his gf and he should want to invest time in you and your relationship. His reaction to your comment that you'd maybe like to spend more time with him suggests that he doesn't care as much as he should and actually seems rather nasty, "Everything I do for you," my question to you would be what does he actually do when he never makes an effort to see you? You deserve much better.

Also, maybe the age gap between you and your bf is too big and is damaging your relationship, you shouldn't feel like "A silly little girl" and the fact that it's influencing your behaviour towards what is a completely unreasonable situation created by your bf suggests that he's doing nothing to make you feel better, which is unfair.

I think you really need to think about what you're actually getting out of this relationship, he's doing whatever he wants whilst you have an other half that you never see who seems to either be unaware or not care that he's hurting you. If you think your relationship is worth saving *and only you know that* you need to be far more assertive and stop worrying about coming across as clingy. You're not clingy, you just want an equal relationship.
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Phil2008
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It's not a real date; he's just being a good wingman.
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Flyingaround
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(Original post by BVR7)
Desperate much?? :boring:
I'm a lonely person...Would you like to rub it in more...you nasty girl?
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Darkphilosopher
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3 Weeks? :erm:
I'd have a stern word with him if I were you.
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brunettegirl92
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also why does your bf's friend need a wing man? does it usually take two blokes to pull one girl? :P

maybe its a guy thing and i'm missing something because i'm a girl. someone please enlighten me.
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elixira
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I'd be piiiiiiiissed
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Jammie_x
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#17
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I really can understand why you are upset!! I know EXACTLY how you feel that somebody seems to be able to make free time for everything else but when it comes to you, it is like your nothing. Perhaps this female friend and your bf will just not be flirting and all, they could just be sitting there, having a chat and a catch up.. While the other two get to know each other more.. However, your boyfriend should of thought of your feelings about this 'double date'..- did he not even ask you about ow it makes you feel?

If your upset, talk to him about it. Make him understand why you are upset and say about how you ain't seen him for ages yet he can make time for someone else. if he doesn't see your point of view, or even understand why you are upset - then is he really the man for you?..
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BVR7
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
I'm a lonely person...Would you like to rub it in more...you nasty girl?
Being lonely isn't the same as hitting on every girl you see and calling the others who look past your 'innocent' requests and see someone who's acting like a desperate child "nasty girls". Grow up.
Sorry for pushing your buttons, Sir.
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Flibble22
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#19
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You need to set him straight. I'm not for clingyness at all, but going on what is pretty much a full on date is asking for trouble.

I wouldn't tolerate it and I wouldn't expect any gf of mine to tolerate it either, if I went on such a thing.

Get it sorted.
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Millie228
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I'm always surprised by the nature of some threads! I mean, seriously...
In this scenario
- you have not seen him for 3 weeks. He does not want to hang out with you - he has the time, as he goes clubbing, but chooses not to.
- He is going on a date with another woman

I wouldn't even say he's your boyfriend? If I were you, I would have questioned if we were still together at least a week ago. To an objective eye - he's single. No man in love avoids his "gf" for 3 weeks. Sort it out with him.
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