is it wrong to like him+fb add him? :s Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
This may sound pathetic…

Anyway, I develop crushes very very rarely and when it hits me it hits me hard. Recently I fell for someone I shouldn’t have. I was working as a teacher on a summer programme in London teaching German students English. He was one of my students. First taboo. Second taboo: he is only 18 and I am 22.

But I loved teaching him. He was part of this lovely group I had; all of them around his age but you’d think they were much older. His english was very good; the whole group were intelligent and sophisticated in their ideas and in the way they saw things. They were curious about the world, very knowledgeable, very cultured. They were a joy to teach, with a really great sense of humour. I laughed a lot with them and we started to get along really well towards the end.

And he was great. When you teach you become very sensitive to the sort of wavelengths people give off, the energy they emit, if that doesn’t sound too hippy/bull**** like; you have to, otherwise you can’t teach. I can’t explain it; I just really like the way he is. He was always smiling, when with me anyway. He was always kind and calm, incredibly easygoing and made me feel happier for one hour a day during a stressful and busy job.

I would have loved to get to know them for longer but I only had them for one lesson a day for 2 weeks; just as I got to know and like them they all had to leave. They invited me to dinner with them on the last night which I found really moving; they all told me I was their favourite teacher. The dinner, however, was pretty weird and awkward for some reason ( we got on but still didn’t know each other that well; plus I found it very hard to suddenly snap out of teacher mode with them…) so I found an excuse to leave early…and now I’m kicking myself. It was only after leaving them then, analysing the weird joy in me, that I realised how I felt. Rushing around for the whole day, frantically marking their work, giving them things to do, I never noticed how I felt in time.

I never exchanged my contact details with any of my students but in this day and age there’s always a bridge to people wherever they are: facebook. I’ve found his page. Obviously we have zero friends in common and as he has a common name it would be obvious that I went to some effort to find his facebook. Plus it would be obvious I’d sought him out in particular as I can’t find any of the other students. And as a teacher, as someone whose role for him was supposed to be someone responsible, mature, a level above him, I feel that it would be so wrong, not to mention unprofessional to make this connection, to do something so personal.

I have no idea what to do. What the hell do I think could come of this anyway? We live in different worlds. I only know what he’s like to teach- I don’t know how much this means I know him. But I just can’t think of anything but him since the last time I saw him and it’s shut my mind off to everything else, which I hate. It’s like I’m 16 again, with no experience of this sort of thing, and it’s unbearable not to be able to channel this….I need advice because I’ve thought about this so much that I have no idea what to do anymore.

Argh. It’s good to be able to admit this. Advice……?
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Lucia.
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Report 7 years ago
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Add him. It's only Facebook. It's no big deal, honestly.
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Terence_A.
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Yeah, go for it.
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Anonymous #1
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thanks for your replies...obviously it wouldn't be a big deal if it were anyone else, but this is a student of mine. I think of teachers who'd get fired for this, and I think there is something right behind this...
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Studentus-anonymous
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I'm going to have to say leave it.

Sorry but as a teacher you simply can't afford yourself the luxury of dating your students, current or ex tbf.

I even find uni students dating their lecturers a bit slimey.


But it depends what you value more, a silly crush (you said it makes you feel like a 16 year old again, I.E. not thinking straight) or your integrity as a teacher who can be trusted with your position.

But yeah, just try and move on, crushes are rarely logical and not worth risking your career over.
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gm15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks for your replies...obviously it wouldn't be a big deal if it were anyone else, but this is a student of mine. I think of teachers who'd get fired for this, and I think there is something right behind this...
Teachers get fired because their student is normally under 18, the relationship started when they were their teacher, they had sex and are probably still teacher/student when discovered.

You haven't even added him on facebook and you aren't his teacher anymore.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my U20i
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