Feeling a bit socially useless and want to do something about it Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I am not very good at relaxing, enjoying, myself, joking etc. when in social situations. Mainly because I don't feel that I have anything to say/contribute worth saying (and when I do talk to people I often end up stumbling on my words etc.).

Therefore, I have tended to deal with this by working really hard as I feel good about myself when I'm busy and have something else to focus on.

It has recently started to bother me because I know that by avoiding socialising I won't improve and probably end up more of a recluse. The fear comes in when I worry about not gaining the satisfaction of a partner/family in later life as I wouldn't expect this to happen if I can't even make friends.

When I reflect on my life I feel really emotionally immature in relation to my counterparts, which exacerbates my negative self esteem.

I do feel that I actively need to do something about my lack of social skills, but I do feel that when I make an effort, I end up feeling bad about myself when I don't behave in the way that I would like. I wish that socialising came naturally to me, but it doesn't. How would I build up the confidence, given that there probably would be lots of times where I do make mistakes and face setbacks? There is also an issue of when I feel that I begin to lose face with specific people, I find it harder to behave as if I had a clean slate the following time I see them. Is this the sort of thing where practice makes perfect or is it less like an activity that you can get better at? I mean if you begin to see it like learning a language do things begin to feel forced?
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Ashan17
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#2
Report 7 years ago
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Build up confidence by going out with work mates? Go for a drink or something cos that will loosen u up even meet people online cos u can atleast match hobbies with theirs. Always ensure u hav a life out of work or u will become unsociable
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