Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I basically just wanted a place to write all this down and let it all out. I've never discussed how I feel with anyone - not my family, not my friends.

I guess I'm pretty lucky in that I come from a well-off family, I'm clever, I'm good at sport and music and I have lots of amazing friends. But I would honestly give up this 'good' life and being good at stuff to just feel like someone loved me. Sure, I've got friends who say they love me and blah blah blah but they don't mean it in a way a parent saying it to their child would mean it.

My parents have never ever ever told me they love me and I cannot remember the last time either of them gave me a hug. I cry myself to sleep most nights just thinking that this is the thing I want most in the world.

Over my childhood I've sort of built up an emotional barrier between myself and my family. I show absolutely no emotion in front of my family - I don't laugh, I don't smile, I don't cry. I actually feel embarrassed to show emotion in front of them and I have no idea why. I'm a completely different person when I'm not around my family and I wish I could show them who I really am but I just can't after this many years of feeling unloved by them.

In reality I'm quite outgoing, loud, funny and just a regular teenager but I just can't be that in front of them and I don't know why.
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SadRedWhale
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#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
I know this thread is old, sorry. Had to reply because this sounds just like me, except slightly worse. My parents have said they love me once or twice, but I probably only average about 2 hugs a year - maybe if I'm going away or something. But I console myself by saying that's just not their way of showing love. I'm sure they love me very much like how I love them. I don't cry over it. (Maybe it's because I don't cry?) Just resolve that if you ever become a parent, be a huggy, lovey one, so your kids can be sure. I have a friend who's like a surrogate parent, who gets all my hugs, which can help quite a lot.

All the best to you.
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ProfessorPester
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#3
Report 6 years ago
#3
I hardly speak to my family. In fact my entire family rarely get on with each other, and the only times we do talk to each other is when we argue.

Doesn't bother me though. Just want to get out of my home ASAP and get to uni as far as possible.
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Integer
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#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
I spend less than 5 minutes a day with my parents.
I stay in my room all the time, and they stay in the lounge.
We are no typical family who would watch tv together or do family stuff. It's quite sad.
If I am a parent I vow to spend time with my child.
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 6 years ago
#5
Don't worry I am the same - I am not close to my parents for many reasons.
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Anonymous #3
#6
Report 6 years ago
#6
Same here....:erm:
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Isambard Kingdom Brunel
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#7
Report 6 years ago
#7
I agree with the OP regarding not being able to express emotion in front of my parents. I, too, get embarrassed.

It comes from being brought up to show no emotion. My family don't think it is necessary, they think we can live without - fully misunderstanding that I became outcasted in life because of this 'deficiency'.

I hold that against my parents, and will never forgive.

They don't deserve to see me showing emotion, they can just be unemotional with each other, I don't want to be involved.

I am a loner, but still, I hold out hope I won't be forever.
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PinkyPurply
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#8
Report 6 years ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I basically just wanted a place to write all this down and let it all out. I've never discussed how I feel with anyone - not my family, not my friends.

I guess I'm pretty lucky in that I come from a well-off family, I'm clever, I'm good at sport and music and I have lots of amazing friends. But I would honestly give up this 'good' life and being good at stuff to just feel like someone loved me. Sure, I've got friends who say they love me and blah blah blah but they don't mean it in a way a parent saying it to their child would mean it.

My parents have never ever ever told me they love me and I cannot remember the last time either of them gave me a hug. I cry myself to sleep most nights just thinking that this is the thing I want most in the world.

Over my childhood I've sort of built up an emotional barrier between myself and my family. I show absolutely no emotion in front of my family - I don't laugh, I don't smile, I don't cry. I actually feel embarrassed to show emotion in front of them and I have no idea why. I'm a completely different person when I'm not around my family and I wish I could show them who I really am but I just can't after this many years of feeling unloved by them.

In reality I'm quite outgoing, loud, funny and just a regular teenager but I just can't be that in front of them and I don't know why.
Stopped reading.
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