LOOOOOOOL funniest story I have heard in a long time. Watch

yeebz93
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I read this on a group I joined on facebook and I felt I had to share it here on TSR because I love spreading the love. Sorry about the chavy language, I had to paste it from FB and I can't be bothered to retype it.





Lemme tell you a lil story cause im bored, I call it the reason i don’t deal with South chicks

Now there was a chick called Tanesha from Lewisham i met about 3 years ago.

I should of known everything was gonna go downhill, from time your name ends in “sha” and your from south..leave it

Anyway i was at my cousins yard in south, saw her, got her number reh teh teh

She was calm, didn’t talk ghetto, mix race, seemed kl. I waited for her bus to come and den she cut

So obviously i got yard, added the facebook started talking, these times i was using msn, webcam all that sh*t

So we talked for a few weeks, i’m tryna get her to come buck me, she’s longing the ting, but she’s nice so i’m cool wid it

It got to a stage where we talked like everyday uno…but everytime i asked her to come she would long it

Till one week she told me to come down….

Obviously i know dis chick is nice, so i put in work lol dropped new garms, fresh creps, i was young, i wanted to press LOOL

So i’m waitng for her at the station, it’s hot as f*ck!!…she comes in a pink Adidas tracksuit O_o

BMT she came looking like Mr Blobby, am i a prick

Anyway, we were walking thru her ends, she’s asking what i wanna do, i’m just thinkin “please get changed”

Cut a long story short we ended up at her yard.

Now were in her room yh, fu*k it we aint in public so i started dropping a few bars lool -__-

I don’t wanna get to descriptive but it got to that stage where she took off her top n that but still had on her tracksuit bottoms

I knew she was on it but she was going on bare stoosh

Anyway she pulled it down, and im thinkin yhhhhhh, then as it came to her ankle i see some box on her leg

I’m thinking its some kinda dumb ankle bracelet….nar the ***** was on TAG!! O_o

No wonder she never wanted to come my ends and no wonder she always wore trousers.

Part 2

So obviously i asked her what she was on tag for, she said robbery…better believe i clinched onto my wallet

You lot think the stories over, nar believe it gets worse

So anyway i’m weary this girl is a criminal mastermind but i didn’t come all the way to south for her to give me her criminal record

So yh im doing the ting, half way through *BANG BANG BANG* “TANESHA OPEN THE f*CK*ng DOOR”

She harlem shaked her body off me, “f*ck f*ck hide”

I’m thinking what do you mean hide who is that, your dad?

She’s like nar its my man ffs, two two’s now this yute is banging on the door like someone is died inside the yard

LOOL i forgot to say this was a bunkbed we were on, so of all places to hide, she hid man on the top f*CK*ng bunk

I’m hearing footsteps n i thinking she’s just coming back up, IMGAGINE SHE BROUGHT THE GUY INTO HER ROOM!

So both of them are in the room talking, whilst im on the top bunk naked with a bonner O_o

So yh there both talking, and im waiting there cas thinking when she gonna tell this guy to leave

Imagine she went on her laptop and started playing slow jams….is she ill? Does she know im still here?

Lool the bars dis wasteman was droppin tho..moist moist moist

Anyway two two’s now i hear them lipsing….im thinking..no they wont…they f*CK*ng won’t….

*zippp* I hear a zip go down *slurp* SHE STARTED GIVING HIM BRAIN WHILE I WAS ON THE TOP BED NAKED!

Now i would of just ran out if i was fully clothed, but i was naked, am i a prick to run onto the street with no clothes

Dis bredda was like 22, i was 16-17 at the time

So yh she’s giving him brain and he goes “MY TURN”…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO

HE’S LICKING HER NARNI AFTER I JUST PRESSED IT 5MINS AGO!!! (DONT TRUST THESE HOES)

I’m in the bed bare trying not to laugh, cause if he knew…Bwoy

So yh they start beating and im just cas at the top, the whole bed was shaking, it felt kinda soothing uno, i wont gas like i was on a lil bouncy castle

Part 3

Anyway she’s moaning blah blah blah, then she says my name..uh oh

He stops…” who the f*ck is Alex, am i a prick”

This guy starts getting MAD!!! ” Who the f*ck is Alex” imagine this dumb ***** said “my cousin”…*sigh*

The guy is going crazy, punching up the yard, “are you cheating on man, Tanesha i’ll kill you uno”

I’m just in bed praying to our heavenly father that this guy don’t clock man, asking God to forgive my sins

She’s bare crying saying she hasn’t cheated blah blah blah and he boxed her in the face..so he hits females imagine what he would do to me

So i started praying even harder, i think at this point i even started praying to Allah aswell, try get both Gods on my side

God answered my prayer because the guy just ducked out n left the yard.. GOD IS REAL!!!

So the door slams and i climb down off the bed and looked at Tanesha on the floor, her face all blooded up

She’s crying and looking at man as if im about to bend down and help her and tell her everything is gonna be ok

I put on my clothes slowly, looking at her the whole time, thinking what to say, bmt i was feeling rage.

I finally got changed..bent down looked at her…..

…..AND I SLAPPED HER!

Nar f*ck it, i don’t care, she put my life in danger lool, i was vex, i had tto watch her get beat and licked out f*ck dat

Anyway, i walked to the station and her man was there LOOL, if only you knew brudda… If only you knew

So that’s the story lool, the moral is don’t deal with chicks from South and always check their ankles.

(Looooooooool got it from Temi)
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yeebz93
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lolazee
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Loooool I read this, it started out on twitter
Tooo funny


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yeebz93
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(Original post by lolazee)
Loooool I read this, it started out on twitter
Tooo funny


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Since when? I just read it today
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CoolRunner
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(Original post by yeebz93)
I read this on a group I joined on facebook and I felt I had to share it here on TSR because I love spreading the love. Sorry about the chavy language, I had to paste it from FB and I can't be bothered to retype it.
Very hard to decipher, but kinda typical none the less.
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lolazee
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(Original post by yeebz93)
Since when? I just read it today
Couple weeks ago, it was the user @Movisuals


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yeebz93
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(Original post by CoolRunner)
Very hard to decipher, but kinda typical none the less.
Yeah I know. The spelling, punctuation and grammar are atrocious.
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yeebz93
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PrincePauper
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Lol thanks for posting. Was funny!

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chocolate buttons
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PrincePauper
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(Original post by CoolRunner)
Very hard to decipher, but kinda typical none the less.
Pour me some port, henderson.

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GPH92
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loving life
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Glow in the dark
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Haha, I was laughing more at the start but as I got used to the lingo it was less funny. Made me smile though
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ChelseaFCCC
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hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaha i was crying out of lauther!
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jamboogy
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Jheez, manz a baddaman
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I have a question
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LOL
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ranbow99
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I feel like my intelligence has decreased since reading that!

But quite funny :lol:
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yeebz93
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I'm glad that all of you enjoyed the story
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SimpleGirl
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(Original post by Glow in the dark)
Haha, I was laughing more at the start but as I got used to the lingo it was less funny. Made me smile though
Same here :giggle:
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