Can't get her out of my mind, help. Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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Not sure where to start, but thanks in advance for reading & any advice is appreciated.

I've been talking to this girl online/skype from america for a year now, she's 18 & I'm 21, purely as a friend. We talked a LOT, as in hours every few days with great chemistry, until recently.
I developed 'feelings' for her a few weeks back, they're definitely 'real' (exact same feelings I had in my previous relationship) She is quite the perfect girl & has plenty of guys after her.
I'm pretty sure she had some feelings for me at one point too, however they're most likely gone.

Things would probably never work out unless some life changing decisions are made (country moves etc.). I don't want to tell her because i'd probably lose her completely (if she doesn't feel the same, that's just how it is). She also deserves a lot better than a long distance relationship.

I'm not mad because it won't work out/cause she doesn't feel the same, i'm just mad that these feelings have come in the way of a beautiful friendship. I've considered 'letting go' (cutting her out), but we're not even together or have any reason to.

The one thing I do want to do is see her, she'd happily meet (whether in the states or somewhere halfway), & it's a possibility for me (finance wise etc). But I'm really not sure, I hate having her on my mind all the time, literally 'stalking' her profile & waiting for texts & such, but I maange not to appear super clingy to her most the time.

What do I do?
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MathematicsKiller
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Meh, let her go. Long distance relationship won't work out, and moving country is too much.

There is plenty of pussy in the pet shop, just stick to the pet shops in your area.
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jamboogy
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You gotta suck it up, not worth it to ruin what friendship you already have. Keep it casual, hopefully she'll be off your mind soon enough.
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J0nes_X
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You can't love somebody you've never met, you can only fall in love with your image/perception/idea of who she is, and even if you had the best person reading skills in the world, this still wouldn't be the 'real' her.
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Okie dokie
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Get the next plane over there
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pinkangelgirl
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You can be highly infatuated with this person (and trust me, it can feel exactly like love because everything is so perfect), but it is probably not love as you have never met her. You instead, have created an image of who she is in your head. You dont know her mannerisms, or her quirks, how she walks or holds herself. I know these seem petty, but they all contribute to falling in love with someone.

Chances are you are highly infatuated/obsessional and trust me how easy it is when I say it can feel like your in love.
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az08
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Meet her, find out one way or another, its the only way. YOLO
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for the replies guys.

(Original post by MathematicsKiller)
Meh, let her go. Long distance relationship won't work out, and moving country is too much.

There is plenty of pussy in the pet shop, just stick to the pet shops in your area.
Yes, I'm completely aware of that.

(Original post by jamboogy)
You gotta suck it up, not worth it to ruin what friendship you already have. Keep it casual, hopefully she'll be off your mind soon enough.
That's correct, but it's really difficult, it's not like a switch I can turn on/off, can things really ever be the same after one develops these 'feelings'?

(Original post by J0nes_X)
You can't love somebody you've never met, you can only fall in love with your image/perception/idea of who she is, and even if you had the best person reading skills in the world, this still wouldn't be the 'real' her.
(Original post by pinkangelgirl)
You can be highly infatuated with this person (and trust me, it can feel exactly like love because everything is so perfect), but it is probably not love as you have never met her. You instead, have created an image of who she is in your head. You dont know her mannerisms, or her quirks, how she walks or holds herself. I know these seem petty, but they all contribute to falling in love with someone.

Chances are you are highly infatuated/obsessional and trust me how easy it is when I say it can feel like your in love.
That's totally dependent on perception, if I've felt this way in a previous relationship & the feelings are identical to now, then I think i'm okay associating them.

But that's besides the point, I didn't WANT or intend this to happen, it was purely casual for a whole year, so I wasn't looking through rose tinted glasses or anything, she was who she was.

Though I fully understand what you mean by infatuation, everything appears perfect in her even when they're probably not. Which is my exact problem, I don't want to think like this, it's burning my mind.


(Original post by Okie dokie)
Get the next plane over there
(Original post by az08)
Meet her, find out one way or another, its the only way. YOLO
YOLO indeed.

I guess I'll try keep it casual & arrange to see her one day, then take it from there.
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jamboogy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's correct, but it's really difficult, it's not like a switch I can turn on/off, can things really ever be the same after one develops these 'feelings'?
You just gotta try your hardest.

There's this girl I'm friends with and I used to like her a lot; the situation was a bit different in that she went to sixth form with me and I saw her every day. When I say I liked her a lot, I mean A LOT. I've known her since September, and now I've just accepted that it's probably not gonna happen cos I am just not her type (not saying that this is the case for you). I still like her the tiniest bit, but the feelings are weak compared to what they used to be.

I think you just have to accept that it would be a bit inappropriate for you to tell her anything, and eventually your realisation of this will result in you feeling less strongly about her.

You'll meet someone else mate. Get hench and play football; solves all of life's problems.
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stars90
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go see her, then tell her not the other way round.
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