Please help!! How do I tell him I don't want a relationship with him? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
A couple of weeks ago, this guy from my sixth form added me on facebook and we chatted a bit about stuff then he asked for my number. I gave it to him because I was under the impression that he just wanted to be mates. Anyway we're in the same class but he'd barely spoken to me all year. Now he's told me he really likes me and that he was just shy, he started texted me loads and asked if I wanted to hang out. We went to the cinema last saturday and ended up kissing, which I admit has obviously given him really mixed signals. The problem is I realise I don't want a relationship with him.

When we kiss, I don't feel anything and I don't fancy him but inside he's a really lovely guy and genuinely nice. His personality is great but I'm really not sexually attracted to him and I feel so guilty because he's acting like he's in love with me. I just don't want to hurt his feelings, we've met up twice more and he's started holding my hand. I didn't want to tell him to stop because I think it's my fault for making him think I like him. We were out together and he suddenly cuddled me and actually said "I love you." After not speaking for almost a year then just hanging out a few times, I was really shocked by what he said and I kind of just smiled, I don't want to hurt him because he's really insecure about his looks as he's overweight and doesn't have a lot of luck with girls.

I think I've led him on unintentionally because he's really sweet and pays me lots of compliments. I've only ever had one other serious relationship and I haven't been out with a guy for ages so I suppose I felt flattered by the attention. I want to really like him but I can't force myself to fall in love. His feelings are obviously a lot stronger than mine and I know he'll be hurt if I just say I don't want to go out with him. It would also be really awkward when we go into A2 year because we have several classes together. Please tell me what to do!!
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LoveLockdown
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#2
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I think you're going to have to try and cool the signals, like not holding his hand. It's hard, but it has to be done
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SweetsAndSugar
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I think you're going to have to 'fess up and be honest with him. Tell him that you didn't realise he had feelings for you when he initially asked you out, and that you thought he thought you were just friends.

EDIT: I wouldn't personally just cool the signals. He'll wonder what he's done wrong (as in his mind things are going well and then bam you 'lose interest').

Hope he doesn't take it too badly. :/
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Ben_LiveYourDreams
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(Original post by Anonymous)
A couple of weeks ago, this guy from my sixth form added me on facebook and we chatted a bit about stuff then he asked for my number. I gave it to him because I was under the impression that he just wanted to be mates. Anyway we're in the same class but he'd barely spoken to me all year. Now he's told me he really likes me and that he was just shy, he started texted me loads and asked if I wanted to hang out. We went to the cinema last saturday and ended up kissing, which I admit has obviously given him really mixed signals. The problem is I realise I don't want a relationship with him.

When we kiss, I don't feel anything and I don't fancy him but inside he's a really lovely guy and genuinely nice. His personality is great but I'm really not sexually attracted to him and I feel so guilty because he's acting like he's in love with me. I just don't want to hurt his feelings, we've met up twice more and he's started holding my hand. I didn't want to tell him to stop because I think it's my fault for making him think I like him. We were out together and he suddenly cuddled me and actually said "I love you." After not speaking for almost a year then just hanging out a few times, I was really shocked by what he said and I kind of just smiled, I don't want to hurt him because he's really insecure about his looks as he's overweight and doesn't have a lot of luck with girls.

I think I've led him on unintentionally because he's really sweet and pays me lots of compliments. I've only ever had one other serious relationship and I haven't been out with a guy for ages so I suppose I felt flattered by the attention. I want to really like him but I can't force myself to fall in love. His feelings are obviously a lot stronger than mine and I know he'll be hurt if I just say I don't want to go out with him. It would also be really awkward when we go into A2 year because we have several classes together. Please tell me what to do!!
You need to be honest with him.
Your inhonesty so far has caused the issue and it needs to be resolved.

He will be really angry at you and probably rant about it, but its the right thing for you to do, both for yourself and for him.

And learn from this!

I can understand what its like to be flattered by the attention, so I don't mean for this post to attack you because I'm sure your a great person, but you also have to think what it would be like to be in his shoes. How would you feel if you were in the same situation as him?


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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Studentus-anonymous
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'I don't want a relationship with you' gets the job done.

Shame on you for leading him on, kissing him when you;re not interested, letting him hold hands, what's wrong with you?

You know what I do with people I don't fancy?

Nothing.

For a start giving out your number is almost always opening up for a date, and going on a date is daft to.

If you didn't want to go on a date with the guy you should have suggested bringing mates along.

Basically friendship between girls and dudes around your age group is almost always impossible.


Plus the creeper dropped the L-bomb after a few hang-outs, that's a red light, just set him straight.
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