Is this illegal and should I seek help from the Police? Watch

HaVoCensures
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#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
My mum threw me out over a year ago. I was 18. Since then I have tried to patch things up but no use. We have differing views on life.

Anyway, yesterday I learned that she's throwing all my stuff out/giving it to charity, even though I've said on many occasions that I want it back. She's throwing out clothes/books/documents/photos/tech etc. etc.

What can I do about this? It's legally my stuff, isn't it? Can I stop her? Can I get it back somehow if she doesn't want to give it to me? I don't know what to do! She's throwing out my whole life's worth of things!

Help?
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janet9
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Give a ring to your local police station by dialling 101, and there's no threat of danger so calling 999 would be unnecessary. It sucks, your situation, but an officer might be able to come round and help. You are 18 and she has no ownership over you anymore - always remember that. It still doesn't give her the right to throw out your personal possessions.
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_Shmiley
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Hmmm. It's a hard one because it's technically her house, I mean you could ring the police but not 999 like they're non emergency number. And they will come and talk to her so stop her maybe.
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thegodofgod
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#4
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Well, if your mother paid for it at the time of purchase, she could claim it's hers, and thus she should be able to do anything she wants with it.

If, however, you paid for the items, they are legally yours and thus she cannot do anything of such sort without your permission, AFAIK.
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MrPhats
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#5
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you could see your citizens advice bureau
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Neostigmine
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Documents is a tricky one. Things like your passport she legally has to give to you.
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Observatory
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(Original post by HaVoCensures)
What can I do about this? It's legally my stuff, isn't it?
Dubious. Unless you had a job, paid for these things yourself, and can produce receipts any legal case you can make is going to be dubious at best. It would be very hard to prove any particular item belongs to you even if it does, which it probably doesn't given your age. I doubt the police will get involved.

Your best bet is probably to 'steal' the stuff back, because there isn't likely to be a lot she can do about that either, especially if she already threw it out.
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curtis871
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Go to all second hand shops (things like cash converters) with a list of the items, her name, address and a photo if possible and when she signs to say they're hers to sell they'll refuse to accept them and phone the police on her for handling stolen property. In the case of Cash Converters I can say from experience that if it's already been given to them it's too late to get it back but you can go through courts to get the value back from your mother should you wish to. Charity shops technically should act in the same way but I also know not all do. If you tell her you've been to them all she might not risk giving them your stuff. If it's a lot she can't easily just throw it out (assuming you live somewhere with bins rather than bags out on the street and she doesn't want to fly-tip) so might as well give it to you. Of course she might cut her nose off to spite her face and keep it but will she have the room?

I'm expecting this to get a lot of negs from all those respect your family nutters but I'm not expecting this to be followed (or even considered) by op if she's still deserving of you not going to these extremes. Your family aren't special unless they're actions back it up and perhaps in this case she should be treated just like you'd treat anyone else's mother who stole from you.
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Make-Me-A-Geek
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#9
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Why has it been a year and you still haven't got your stuff? Why don't you take it in the first place? Apart from legal documents, as been said already you would t have much of a case.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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Lyrically
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If my peacock lays an egg in my neighbours garden, who does the egg belong to?
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Tycho
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Speaking from experience...

It's not a police issue - they won't get involved. If you go to the police they will advise you to speak to a lawyer who specialises in civil (small claims) cases.

When you speak to a lawyer they will suggest they send your mum a letter outlining all the things that you believe are yours and want back (the lawyer will charge you to send the letter, which can be costly). Your mum should then correspond with the lawyer and arrange a convenient time for you to come and collect your belongings, after which point the case is closed. If she has already gotten rid of the items and you can prove they belonged to you then she has commited an offence, and your lawyer will advise you that you will be able to take her to a small claims court to get compensation for the items should she refused to give you an agreed amount of compensation herself.

If your mum disputes the ownership of the items then you are in a difficult position. Did you buy them, and if so - do you have the receipts in your own name? If so - and if they are worth it - you can take her to court and you will win. If not - and the items are not stupidly valuable - then I'd advise against it for financial reasons and the fact that you probably won't win.

In any case I presume you'd have to represent yourself in court as you wouldn't be able to afford legal representation (to get a lawyer to represent you in a small claims court can cost upwards of £1500. Be mindful of this before going that far.

If your mum had any honour and decency then she'd come to an arrangement with you personally and grow up a bit.
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hippieglitter
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#12
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Is it not at all possible to just knock on her door and say I've come to collect my things in much the same way as you might with anyone who had something that belonged to you. If she doesn't want them surely it is easier for her for you to go and take them off her hands than her having to sort through them and give them to charity.
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Indieboohoo
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#13
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I doubt the police can help they tend to favor the parent
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JamesNeedHelp2
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#14
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(Original post by Indieboohoo)
I doubt the police can help they tend to favor the parent
Boohoo
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Indieboohoo
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#15
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(Original post by JamesNeedHelp2)
Boohoo
lol need help 2
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JamesNeedHelp2
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#16
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(Original post by Indieboohoo)
lol need help 2
Are you the person on the left of your pic or the right?

If its the latter, you can give me all the help i need.
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GR3YFOXXX
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#17
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Even if your mum bough all your stuff and gave them to you they are still your property. The law states that a gift becomes the legal property of the recipient. The problem may arise from the fact that these items have been held by your Mum for over a year. She has no obligation to store any of your personal effects longer than is reasonably necessary i.e. 1 or 2 weeks.
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HaVoCensures
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#18
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#18
The trouble is, she doesn't want to give them back. She prefers to go through it and chuck it out because it'll hurt more that way. She's quite spiteful.

I don't want a court case over this. She's still my mum.

But she won't give it to me, she doesn't want to talk to me, won't let me in the house..
I couldn't take it all with me because I was given 1/2hr to get out of the house. ~You can't pack/transport everything you own in 1/2hr...
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Casshern1456
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#19
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#19
What did you do to piss her off so much?
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AntisthenesDogger
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#20
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Unless you earn half of what would pay for your standard of living, you're by law dependent on your Mother, so it's technically illegal for her to kick you out. People just don't realize this and get abused.

*Illegal till over 25*
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