parents and uni!

i guess this is a relationship issue!
how are your parents reacting about you going to uni? i'm an only child and my mum isn't really coping :P earlier i made the mistake of saying that this could be my last mother's day at home for a while and it started her off. she honestly cries about me leaving at least once a week. is this actually normal???

Reply 1

Slice'N'Dice

2

Anonymous

i guess this is a relationship issue!
how are your parents reacting about you going to uni? i'm an only child and my mum isn't really coping :P earlier i made the mistake of saying that this could be my last mother's day at home for a while and it started her off. she honestly cries about me leaving at least once a week. is this actually normal???

It just shows that she cares about you. If you've been living with your parents for 18 years then pack up and leave for Uni..of course they will be sad.

Reply 2

*Mike*

11

my parents are looking forward to me going uni and dont mind if i go to Scotland (St Andrews) or Wales (Swansea) and i live near london lol.

Reply 3

different?

2

I'm an only child too and I get on really well with my parents so I have been a bit concerned about how much i am going to miss them. They feel likewise. None of us are at a crying stage though, maybe it's just her character that she reacts more than other people may do? It's going to be a big change, but as people tell me it's a new chapter in life and at some point in your life you would have to leave home, so it is something she knows she's going to have to deal with. If i were you I'd just sit down with her one day and talk about it rationally, but just a bit of advice choose your timing carefully, for example i don't think it was too wise to mention on mother's day as she was probably feeling a bit sentimental.

Reply 4

Cloud_Strife

12

My dad is kinda upset about me going, i think the house is going to be alot quieter without me here. I always have mates round and what not.
But its one of those things we have to do, im sure you will miss your mum alot, i know im going to miss my dad loads.

Reply 5

Happy1

14

You have to talk to her. She's obviously making you feel bad about leaving and it isnt fair. Tell her you understand how she's feeling but you'll phone her every week (if not more) and you'll be home to visit regularly. Everyone has to move out sometime and you cant be held back by your mother's fears - reassure her but let her know that you're feeling bad and dont think its fair.

Reply 6

KerriT

9

I'm my mother's best friend and she relies on me a lot. At the moment she has flu or something and was saying how she doesn't know what she'll do without me. She relies on me so much that I really don't know what she'll do! She wants me to go to uni close to home but I'm going to York, five hours away. She gets all depressed when I talk about uni and doesn't want to listen, she refused to come to any open days with me, even the one two hours away.

Reply 7

killerbee

12

ur mum needs to appreciate that leaving home is something thats gotta happen, and just because yur not living at home, you cant have a good relationship

im at uni and dont miss my parents at all, and i dont really talk to them or email
i got an email off them last week asking why i wasnt keeping in touch and if something terrible had happened - it made me feel really guilty :frown:

Reply 8

Happy1

14

KerriT

I'm my mother's best friend and she relies on me a lot. At the moment she has flu or something and was saying how she doesn't know what she'll do without me. She relies on me so much that I really don't know what she'll do! She wants me to go to uni close to home but I'm going to York, five hours away. She gets all depressed when I talk about uni and doesn't want to listen, she refused to come to any open days with me, even the one two hours away.

She'll have to get over that. Sounds harsh but she will. You cant run your life around your moher. You have to live for yourself.

Reply 9

Invictor_M

My mum is completly the same (I'm also an only child). She spent months trying to persuade me to go to a local university or one I could commute to each day, however the nearest university I'm interested in is Portsmouth. Still to make final decisions but thats really the closest to home. It will be hard for both me and my parents when I leave for uni, but at the end of the day it has to be done in my opinion.

Reply 10

strange

My parentds can't wait for me to leave :smile:

They have so many plans for my room.

Reply 11

Angelicx1x

1

Yes it can be normal for parents to react the way your mum has.
My mum doesnt want to me go to uni far away, but i feel thats because she relies on me alot to babysit etc! Im worried about going to uni because i dont know how my household will survive without me. i do alot of the cleaning, washing, feeding and looking after my brothers, especially the youngest, hes 4.

Yea your mum will miss you, but its your life, your growing up and its time for you to gain your own independance! I dont think she is showing you shes upset to make you feel bad though. Her child is growing up and shes just struggling to come to terms with it!

Reply 12

Ariadne

16

Yes, it's really normal. My mum was exactly the same when I first went to boarding school - apparently she dropped me off, drove 2 miles down the road and then had a complete crying fit at a petrol station. For your mum it's probably worse - she's had 18 years of you living at home, and for you to finally move out will make her feel as though her baby is moving away from her mentally as well as physically.

Reply 13

lizziegee

Speaking as a parent , I can understand why your parents are upset about you going. They have been with you day and night( well not quite, but you know what I mean) for the past 18 years and they will miss you, not to mention worry like hell about if you are looking after yourself properly etc, plus you are an adult now which means that their job is done and they are getting older , you have been the centre of their lives for so long. Their behaviour is normal, I"m sure I will be the same if my children go to uni too!!.

Reply 14

anjurdsg

11

i'm moving country for uni...and my mom is getting paranoid that i might go into a "bad company"....smokin, drinking, drugs, sex... :eek:

stuff that i already do now behind her back...

Reply 15

Talya

16

lizziegee

Speaking as a parent

I love Bill Bailey...

Anyway, I'm an only child in a single parent family. My mum seems quite happy for me to go away but I do worry about if she'll be lonely or be able to cope with housework and such. I hope she's OK :frown:

Reply 16

mattyboi2k8

1

Im hoping to move from Southampton to Cumbria, which means Im moving from very bottom of England, to the very top!
And my family have been supportive, which is good :smile:

Reply 17

pikaboo

13

My mum either does a good job of covering up how much she misses me or actually prefers me living 100 miles away. :p:

but she's got my brother and other stuff to keep her busy.

Reply 18

jb_sweden

I'm moving abroad, from Sweden to UK, and I will probably be doing internships during the summers and stuff. So I won't see my parents for quite some time.

I can tell it hurts my mom quite bad. Though she's so strong and kind that she's pretending not to take it that badly, just to make it easier for me.

As with anything, people adjust, cope with new enviroments and so on. Your mother will get used to it and adapt. But, you could always write her letters, make phone calls and so on. It's very appreciated.

Reply 19

glance

17

My parents (especially my Dad) were really quite upset when my brother went to uni, and he'd been at boarding school for two years previously! I'm going to flatter myself by saying that my parents will also be upset when I leave, but I've told them that I'll only be in London (about 40 minute train journey away) and reassured them that I'll be back every weekend begging for food and clean clothes etc.

parents and uni!

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