Jealous that others live with my boyfriend Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
For the last couple of weeks my boyfriend has been staying with a group of others at a summer school. Mainly girls.
This has made me feel very jealous as they usually all spend the evenings together and the days whilst in the summer school.
The reason im jealous is because others get to spend more time with him than me. I dont think id ever be able to spend a whole night with him (complicated) for a good few years. I just wish i could be there for him as much as they all are because now its the holidays we just about see each other once a week as it is and they have had a whole 2 weeks with him :/
ive vaguely brought it up in conversation but hes busy whilst hes been there and so doesnt have time to call when hes with them. I know he's busy so how can i stop being so jealous?
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SeanaMay
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#2
Report 7 years ago
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I had the same thing when my boyfriend went to uni...he was living with loads of other people and it was really hard to deal with especially when i was still at college (im a year younger than him). Is there any way you can meet his housemates and get to know them? I know that really helped me! When you get to know them you become their friend and gain a kind of status in their group.

I know its hard not to be jealous but trust him and remember you will have time with him in the future

x
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SeanaMay)
I had the same thing when my boyfriend went to uni...he was living with loads of other people and it was really hard to deal with especially when i was still at college (im a year younger than him). Is there any way you can meet his housemates and get to know them? I know that really helped me! When you get to know them you become their friend and gain a kind of status in their group.

I know its hard not to be jealous but trust him and remember you will have time with him in the future

x
well theyre not really house mates. Hes been staying with them for a couple of weeks so wont see them much after this friday. Saying that i dont know why im so jealous but i am
dont know how im gonna cope if we go to different unis with me feeling a wreck at this small thing!
arghhhh
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un-jardin-sur-le-nil
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Im intrigued what the reason you can't spend the night together for 'at least a few years'??
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by un-jardin-sur-le-nil)
Im intrigued what the reason you can't spend the night together for 'at least a few years'??
Because we're not old enough to live with each other? Well maybe next year once were in uni and I don't mean just one night. That we can do
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un-jardin-sur-le-nil
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because we're not old enough to live with each other? Well maybe next year once were in uni and I don't mean just one night. That we can do
Oh good. I read it as you can't ever spend even one night together!! Understand now.
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RalphsDisciple
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
For the last couple of weeks my boyfriend has been staying with a group of others at a summer school. Mainly girls.
This has made me feel very jealous as they usually all spend the evenings together and the days whilst in the summer school.
The reason im jealous is because others get to spend more time with him than me. I dont think id ever be able to spend a whole night with him (complicated) for a good few years. I just wish i could be there for him as much as they all are because now its the holidays we just about see each other once a week as it is and they have had a whole 2 weeks with him :/
ive vaguely brought it up in conversation but hes busy whilst hes been there and so doesnt have time to call when hes with them. I know he's busy so how can i stop being so jealous?
I've never been in this situation, so I'm afraid I can't offer much advice, but I am curious as to know if there's anything you think your boyfriend could do in this situation to make you feel better? I'm going to uni in a couple of months, and my boyfriend is staying here, and he's already hinted a few times that he's going to be quite jealous of the guys I'm living with. I don't want him to spend all his time being jealous, so I'd like to help him see there's nothing to be jealous of once I get there. Seeing as your situation is fairly similar, is there anything you'd like your boyfriend to do, or anything he could do to help you feel better?
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Studentus-anonymous
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#8
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Lets be honest you're both young and busy with sorting your own lives out and enjoying freedom as most young people do.

Fact is if this relationship is still going a year from now I'll pay up.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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(Original post by RalphsDisciple)
I've never been in this situation, so I'm afraid I can't offer much advice, but I am curious as to know if there's anything you think your boyfriend could do in this situation to make you feel better? I'm going to uni in a couple of months, and my boyfriend is staying here, and he's already hinted a few times that he's going to be quite jealous of the guys I'm living with. I don't want him to spend all his time being jealous, so I'd like to help him see there's nothing to be jealous of once I get there. Seeing as your situation is fairly similar, is there anything you'd like your boyfriend to do, or anything he could do to help you feel better?
I'd just say try to spend as much time as possible together. Thats what he will be jealous of...the fact that he cant live with you yet other guys cant. Reassure him you love him miss him etc.
Before you go try cook him a meal at home and spend a couple of days together if you can. Do the whole living together thing for a few days. Then he wont feel as left out
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Mockery
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#10
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You're young and being jealous will only stagnate your relationship. He will get bored and do what you fear the most just to prove to himself that he is still a free spirit.

I have the feeling this is your first serious relationship too..
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Lucia.
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#11
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#11
Sometimes the more freedom you give, the less likely they'll not stray. Okay I'm not taking that to extremes but...

If in a relationship, I acknowledge that both of us will still find others attractive. It helps to be honest about that stuff but helps a lot too if you approach monogamy in the same way. If you've got that right, then you'll get on well.
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