This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Staying friends with someone who's going to university?
- My friend has gone missing
- I'm uncomfortable around my dad
- Lecturer touched me?
- Hear me out!!
- Please give feedback on this essay I wrote on the theme of war in the manhunt!!
- Why would he ask me if I’m interested?
- When a guy blocks you after talking to you for a while
- Is it sexual assault if someone keeps moving their hand up your thigh?
- Relationship Advice
- my situationship
- Protentional crush on somebody living in another country. Please give advice!!
- Friendships with ex-teachers
- girlfriend
- Penis head sensitive to touch when erect
- Complicated situation with bf. Back together again
- Thesis and Research Question in the Same Paper?
- Has he lost interest?
- guy won't respond but is on social media
- Why won’t he let me touch his ****
He won't touch me
I'm talking about a serious lack of affection in my boyfriend's part. We used to be just like any other couple, holding hands, hugging a lot, his hands used to be on my back, leg, arm, anywhere even when we were just sitting down watching tv. Lately this has all stopped, and I miss it so much.
It's only me who initiates contact now, I often reach over to stroke his arm, or try to hold his hand. He doesn't pull back, he smiles and it shows that he likes it, but he never seems to reciprocate at all. Everything else, as in conversation, saying nice things and showing that he cares is just the same as it was.
But, I miss the touching and affection. It doesn't have to be sexual, just squeezing my hand or stroking my hair is enough. The worst part is, I don't understand why he is being like this and what's caused this sudden change. I'm not sure what to do, but the current situation is making me frustrated and unhappy.
Any ideas as to why this has happened, and what I can do to hopefully sort it?
It's only me who initiates contact now, I often reach over to stroke his arm, or try to hold his hand. He doesn't pull back, he smiles and it shows that he likes it, but he never seems to reciprocate at all. Everything else, as in conversation, saying nice things and showing that he cares is just the same as it was.
But, I miss the touching and affection. It doesn't have to be sexual, just squeezing my hand or stroking my hair is enough. The worst part is, I don't understand why he is being like this and what's caused this sudden change. I'm not sure what to do, but the current situation is making me frustrated and unhappy.
Any ideas as to why this has happened, and what I can do to hopefully sort it?
Scroll to see replies
I have tried to talk to him about it. He says he didn't notice he was being different. I'm not sure if he was just saying that to cover up the real reasons for it, or he really doesn't realise. But it hurts.
Anonymous
I have tried to talk to him about it. He says he didn't notice he was being different. I'm not sure if he was just saying that to cover up the real reasons for it, or he really doesn't realise. But it hurts.
Haha, I had the exact same problem during the past week. (with a female of course).
This is a VERY rare instance, where a guy just loses interest completely... (It's usually the other way round) And the reason is not something to be ignored...
Either: he's cheating on you...he has someone who's more good looking or something in his life
Or: he's suffering from some kind of depression, but he's not ready to tell you what it is...do not overlook this one
you gotta find out...
anjurdsg
when a girl does that, she dont like you anymore, mate...lol...
I know.
Maybe hes had enough of initiating contact with you all the time. It shouldnt be because hes stopped showing affection, youve started showing it. Thats wrong. He needs loving too! Just give it time and see how it goes, i know it hurts because ive been there too.
Speak to him about it, but dont let it escalate into an arguement, because when he does start showing affection towards you again, you may start thinking that youve forced him to, and hes only doing it to keep you happy.
Speak to him about it, but dont let it escalate into an arguement, because when he does start showing affection towards you again, you may start thinking that youve forced him to, and hes only doing it to keep you happy.
Angelicx1x
Maybe hes had enough of initiating contact with you all the time. It shouldnt be because hes stopped showing affection, youve started showing it. Thats wrong. He needs loving too! Just give it time and see how it goes, i know it hurts because ive been there too.
Speak to him about it, but dont let it escalate into an arguement, because when he does start showing affection towards you again, you may start thinking that youve forced him to, and hes only doing it to keep you happy.
Speak to him about it, but dont let it escalate into an arguement, because when he does start showing affection towards you again, you may start thinking that youve forced him to, and hes only doing it to keep you happy.
I did show affection before, I'm quite a touchy feely person, that's why I miss it so much.
If it is that, or anything else, I wish he'd just tell me straight instead of letting me guess and making me feel rejected/unloved.
Seriously, it's only now I realise how important intimacy is in a relationship, I guess I took it for granted before.
HE PROBABbly doesnt even realise he is being any different, the only thing you can do is talk to him about it, as so many others have said. perhaps he felt he was the one who initiated all the affection and thought he wld see whether you would start giving him some?
Sexual activity doesn't happen so often now, since we've both been busy. It hasn't completely stopped, just frequency isn't what it was, and the,uhm, quality isn't what it was either.
Yeah, I think I will definitely try to talk to him again, but it's so hard when he acts like nothing's wrong and won't open up. If it was a little experiment, then it seriously backfired, since if he doesn't respond to my advances, it ultimately leads me to completely stopping.
Him being so distant makes me wonder now if he actually wants me, and when I have those doubts I kinda feel like not making any effort at all. This sounds so bad, but it's true. It's like, if he won't even hold my hand or hug me, then maybe if I just get sulky and upset he'll realise what he's doing is wrong, like a getting even sort of thing.
Yeah, I think I will definitely try to talk to him again, but it's so hard when he acts like nothing's wrong and won't open up. If it was a little experiment, then it seriously backfired, since if he doesn't respond to my advances, it ultimately leads me to completely stopping.
Him being so distant makes me wonder now if he actually wants me, and when I have those doubts I kinda feel like not making any effort at all. This sounds so bad, but it's true. It's like, if he won't even hold my hand or hug me, then maybe if I just get sulky and upset he'll realise what he's doing is wrong, like a getting even sort of thing.
anjurdsg
This is a VERY rare instance, where a guy just loses interest completely... (It's usually the other way round) And the reason is not something to be ignored...
Either: he's cheating on you...he has someone who's more good looking or something in his life
Or: he's suffering from some kind of depression, but he's not ready to tell you what it is...do not overlook this one
you gotta find out...
This is a VERY rare instance, where a guy just loses interest completely... (It's usually the other way round) And the reason is not something to be ignored...
Either: he's cheating on you...he has someone who's more good looking or something in his life
Or: he's suffering from some kind of depression, but he's not ready to tell you what it is...do not overlook this one
you gotta find out...
hang on there thats not true! youve probably just got over the honey moon part of your relationship, the beginning where you are all over each other touching each other as much as you can but now you have settled down into the routine he has stopped. all you have to do is talk to him about it, he probably hasnt realised that he has stopped so just tell him you miss it.
its NOT a ''rare instance'' so dont be worried about it. think about married couples for goodness sake i mean at the beginning they probably used to be all over each other but after a couple of months stopped. they still love each other just as much but have just stopped.
yeah i spose theres the possibility that he is cheating on you or he is suffering from depression but for goodness sake give him a chance...
Honestly just relax I don't think it sounds massive I mean when you first go out with someone your always hugging and holding hands and stuff but as a relationship goes on for longer the whole novelty of the new relationship wares off and it just becomes a cozy relaxed one.
teenageclay
Honestly just relax I don't think it sounds massive I mean when you first go out with someone your always hugging and holding hands and stuff but as a relationship goes on for longer the whole novelty of the new relationship wares off and it just becomes a cozy relaxed one.
I'd agree with this
Happened to me and my ex, once you end the 'honeymoon phase' things arn't quite as new and exciting, instead it's comfortable
Maybe he's settling down into "domestic" life... he is used to you, he knows you are there for him and subconsiously, he doesnt need to make an effort to keep you anymore.
maybe not. Just a thought.
maybe not. Just a thought.
Related discussions
- Staying friends with someone who's going to university?
- My friend has gone missing
- I'm uncomfortable around my dad
- Lecturer touched me?
- Hear me out!!
- Please give feedback on this essay I wrote on the theme of war in the manhunt!!
- Why would he ask me if I’m interested?
- When a guy blocks you after talking to you for a while
- Is it sexual assault if someone keeps moving their hand up your thigh?
- Relationship Advice
- my situationship
- Protentional crush on somebody living in another country. Please give advice!!
- Friendships with ex-teachers
- girlfriend
- Penis head sensitive to touch when erect
- Complicated situation with bf. Back together again
- Thesis and Research Question in the Same Paper?
- Has he lost interest?
- guy won't respond but is on social media
- Why won’t he let me touch his ****
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 weeks ago
Mum makes a big deal about me having locked my phoneLast reply 1 month ago
Will they put it on my medical records if I ask for stronger painkillers?Health
8
24
