Oxford English Students and Applicants

(Achieved)
A* - English Lit
A* - French WJEC
A - History
A - Art History
A - Polish
a - Polish (pre-2008)
a - French (Edexcel)

(Predicted)
A* - RS
A - Spanish

It's a bit convoluted, really. I took French and Polish to AS and then a year later decided to take them to A2, but by that point (for Polish) the specification had changed so I had to start over and do AS and A2s at the same time, and I wanted to do a different exam board for French so I had to start that over too - so the two AS As don't really count but I have to declare them on UCAS. Other than that, I've decided to take RS and Spanish while on my Gap Year as they're quite stress-free and I can do them at the same time as all my internships and travelling My UCAS must be really confusing for an admissions tutor!

I feel like I should be preparing for the entrance exam but I fail to see how you can. If your written expression is good and you're comfortable with literary criticism, surely it's a matter of responding to what you receive on the day?
Not long now- Wednesday!

This is true to an extent, but surely practice will improve your critical acumen? I always feel far more comfortable before an exam if I've prepared, regardless of my ability in that field....each to their own, though. Even just doing the practice papers or reading through some poetry would help, IMO...

Well that makes me feel slightly less inadequate lol.

Anyone know if for the written work we can exclude the quotes from the word count?? im a thousand words over atm!!

Oh I'm not applying to uni this year because I'm doing an extra year at college; I highly doubt that I'll be applying to Oxbridge anyway. I was just bored and flicking through the forums thinking about my English application for next year and saw your sig.

My next essay....

You did this in 90 minutes?! Bloody hell. If that's what they're expecting I've got no chance.

My next essay....

- i'm slightly unsure of your title (are you even supposed to have one?), how about incorporating your ideas into your intro. Also to me, it seems a bit general and unclear: 'literary devices'= what literary devices? 'feminine beauty, and other ideas regarding both beauty and feminism?'= how does this link?
- you've definitely improved from last time- your so clear in how you write and I can follow your line of argument!!
- you say, "one can examine.." and "it is also worth noting"- i think this seems a bit dodgy to me as you are the person who is examining/analysing so don't speak in that detached way but in an active personal voice. This also makes me feel a little uncomfortable when reading and stops the flow of your interesting analysis.
- I really like how you compare- the passive vs active feminine!!
- although you significantly improved from using from using commas- but watch out sometimes, you even have commas for ",and,"
- your points are specific and incredibly intricate, but you don't keep on the text. some of your points are great but can be quite empty without the given evidence.
- also avoid using too long quotes
- "Thus far, the essay has examined the various ways in which feminine beauty is presented, but what has only been touched upon is the reason (s) why this is important;"- this seems a little weird as you seem to be commenting on your own analysis.
- in spite of this- i like your emphasis upon the argument itself!
- great vocab!
- you go off the close-reading at times and talk about irrelevant things like zeitgeist...

In conclusion- your brilliant at close-reading but particularly talented at bringing an argument to the table- but I think you need to work a little in trying to block your voice being too overpowering of the close-reading and don't comment on your track of the essay as well... but very good!

i'm going to put my one up- would you have a look at it- return a favour?

Thank you for all your feedback. I shall do the 2009 and perhaps the 2010 tomorrow and try to incorporate your feedback.

No. Of course not. I have better things to do!


I jest. But of course I shall have a look...

In Eliot’s ‘Middlemarch’ and Sidney’s ‘Sonnet VII’, the existence of portrait painting is apparent. Good, you've instantly imposed an argument upon the essay - but where is this going? Yet both writers reflect on art and contrast it with reality, This is better. I like the argument you've chosen, and wish that I had chosen it. Ah well. Either way, it's a good start. questioning whether reality itself participates A bit awkward in your terminology methinks? Perhaps, 'reality itself can be expressed through art'? Just a thought.within art and creates new portraits. Whilst, Shouldn't be a comma here. Eliot portrays the tension that is explicit between the observed art and those who observe the “contentment of its sensuous perfection”, Sidney’s Sonnet explores the beauty and attraction explicit within “Stella’s eyes” which are in the strange “colour black.” Good use of embedded quotations, but what allusions are drawn here - remember, allusions are one of the criterion mentioned...

It is clear that Eliot explores the theme of ‘observation’ in presenting the tension between reality and painted portrait and the blurring sensation between the two when conflated. The extract begins with, “a young man whose hair was not immoderately long...was looking out on the magnificent view of the mountains.” It is clear that Eliot evokes a portrait of the character and his image, the painstaking detail of the description reinforces this.Very good, well reasoned, although I'd question the use of 'painstaking'. Rather, 'intricate' or 'meticulous'. This therefore makes the reader a spectator of this visual depiction.Again, well done, strong close reading - make sure you analyse the effect on the reader. Yet, Eliot further creates a portrait as the character spectatorship of this ‘picturesqueness’ of the setting. Through describing the scenery as “magnificent” modifies it as a piece of work or portrait.Syntax is awkward here; you're missing a pronoun. Therefore these separate images which are seemingly internally viewed through observation and spectatorship, creates a visible tension between art painted portraits and reality. Rather 'a visible tension is created between...'

Similarly, Sidney presents the way in which a realistic being is modified as art and a portrait purposefully created. Nice comparison.Sidney describes, “When Nature made her chief work,” ;this clearly suggests the physical creation which was undertaken to create a picturesque human. Yet, ‘Nature’ is personified as an ‘artist’, this ignores the sense of reality but suggests artificiality.Interesting viewpoint. This is further suggested as “Frame dantiest lustre mixt shades and light?” Through describing the beauty of the person as “shades” and “lights” add a sense of artificiality and reduces her ultimately to a painted portrait. On the other hand, it is suggested that through Sydney’s use of questioning implies both a rhetorical question and a sense of uncertainty.Nice. The narrator’s demand to question may suggest his amazement in finding beauty within the colour black which is expected to be “contrary” to beauty or art. 'Use of archetypes'This therefore indicates the fact that art and beauty is inherent within reality. Nice conclusion.

In contrast, Eliot portrays the metaphorical conflict explicitThis doesn't make sense. between painted portrait and reality. The girl “standing against a pedestal near a reclining marble” suggests the tension between an object which is created with artificial value in contrast with a realistic being. “Standing against it” has ambiguous connotations as it may suggest the comfort between the two spate beings yet may also suggest the tactile and physical conflict that is held between the two.Nice use of alternative interpretation - though a bit brief. Eliot describes the girl through picturesque imagery, “breathing blooming girl...not shamed by the Ariadne...pushing somewhat backward the white beaver bonnet which made a sort of halo.” Eliot’s use of the words, “breathing blooming” clearly refines the physical reality within the atmosphere, which is in contest with the magnificent art. Eliot’s reference to the girl feeling unashamed by the Ariadne creates a shift within the narrative as it draws away from the idea of observation and appreciation. Strong argument.Therefore through ignoring the observation of portrait and art can still create a world of images and portraits with realistic elements. In spite of this, Eliot ironically uses the symbol of the halo to suggest the reflection art has upon reality. How so?Yet this is subverted through the idea that halo was continentally caused rather than painted. It is significant that Eliot emphasises the way the girl’s “eyes were fixed dreamily on a streak of sunlight”, this further reinforces the idea of observing life as though it were a portrait. Yet, Eliot presents this imagery, whilst portraying the girl unaware of the real art present. This clearly suggests Eliot’s intent to present art as a beautiful depiction of reality rather than artificial ideals.

Similarly, Sidney presents the tension between reality and art through his use of the sonnet form. The verses, “or would she her miraculous power show,/...contrary/...she even in black doth make all beauties flow?” Clearly, the use of the ABAB rhyme creates an emotional mood within the poem as the assonance “ow” in “show” and “flow” creates a wailing sound – which may be symbolic of the emotional need for a coherent understanding of why the black eyes exert so much beauty.I like this very much. This is mirrored within the use of the word “show”, a demand for visual demonstration and “flow” a tactile or aural understanding. In the last lines, the rhyming couplet is present, “Placed over there, gave him the mourning weed/To honour all their deaths who for her bleed.” It is suggested that Sidney creates a denouement or resolution of some sort in understanding the truth behind the beauty. Okay...This is signified in Sidney’s use of the rhyming couplet as a sense of harmony is created and the two distinct or fragmented feelings join. Well done. Clearly the reference to death adds a realistic quality and further reinforces how a portrait has the infinite power to last, where reality is mortal and transient.This is really good. The colour imagery Sidney employs within the poem of the colour black affirms the idea of “death” in the last line, and therefore adds a disturbing quality of macabre in suggesting art and beauty can be discovered within death. I'm not sure that this logically follows...maybe I'm just being dense? It seems incongruous.Yet a sense of peace is present as Sidney describes the “honour” that she gives to the “deaths who for her bleed”, further suggesting the love and artistic beauty that is transparent with aspects of life that are seemingly associated with the bleakness of reality.

Okay, very good.

-Your close reading is good to strong...
-You follow your argument with alacrity and cohesion.
-I like your interpretations and use of imagery.
-You show that you can interpret things in a variety of ways, but make sure you follow this through....

However, I would ask - how long did this take? At times your grammar and syntax goes awry, and I wouldn't want this to jeopardise your chances. I've given you the benefit of the doubt, assuming that it isn't done quickly/proofread - otherwise, make sure that everything that you write makes sense.

A good job, though.

thanks, really appreciate feedback.
I spent 1 and a half hour, but the half hour was on the reading itself. I haven't proofread, perhaps I should allow some time near the end of the exam to read it and check my grammar etc.