Feel bullied and depressed - cannot afford to quit

    • Thread Starter

    Hi there, I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this, maybe just to hear someone else has similar experiences or even just moral support...

    I work part time as a bartender in my local pub. I love my job, it's somewhere I can be really sociable which is good as I'm not good at talking to people usually.

    However, I feel really bullied by my manager.

    He's not the nicest of people in general, he can be quite insecure and isn't very confident, so I guess he feels he can be like this because we can't really do anything about it, but lately, he's been overstepping the mark.

    I usually work 23 hours a week, and at the end of every week, we write down our hours and give them to him and he pays us.

    On friday, at the end of my shift, I wrote down 23 hours - £115 and gave it to him. I had forgotten, however, that I left at 7 on thursday and not 8 as usual, but he went mental.

    He said "You did NOT work 23 hours!" at which point I remembered, felt embarrassed and apologised saying "Sorry, I left at 7 last night, not 8, it is 22 hours, sorry" but he was having none of it.

    At this point, he started shouting at me, saying "I came down at 7:30 and you were NOT here"

    I started feeling really embarrassed as there were customers there, people I know and he was making a massive deal out of it. As I left I could hear him telling people about it and I felt awful. I went in last night for a drink and two of the other staff came up to me and said "You've been naughty, I've heard what you did" Apparently, he told them I specifically said I worked until 8, which isn't true, and that I denied I left at 7!

    What do I do? I feel he has something against me, as after speaking to other staff, they've never felt he has been bad to them.

    Do I talk to him? I don't want to seem as though I'm seeking confrontation, but I also don't want him to think it's ok.

    Can anyone please help or give some advice?

    That is ridiculous behaviour. He shouldn't be be in the job he's in if he acts like that.

    I was bullied at a job for a while and it got to the point where i was actually scared to go in to work. But i also couldn't afford to leave. I felt so trapped and miserable.

    In the end i eventually just left because i couldn't take it anymore. Because i left 'voluntarily', i didn't get any Jobseeker's Allowance, and it was just really hard.

    I'd suggest looking for new work asap, and try to get a new job to move to. But yeah... much easier said than done i know.

    Is there anyone above him that you can complain to? An area manager or something similar?
    • Thread Starter

    It is ridiculous, the only reason he got this job is because the Landlord got a job somewhere else, so works away and needs someone to 'run' the place, and the only other person got caught taking from the till, so he just landed in that job, with no idea of how to be a boss.

    I've posted about him before, he kept making fun of the fact I failed my driving test 4 times, when he passed 1st. I thought he was up for banter, but as soon as I said something back, he threatened to fire me!

    There are two people I speak to about it, one is his bosses sister in law, who constantly tells his boss none of the customers like him and he's a dick, but as long as the pub is making money for him, he doesn't seem to care.

    The other person I can talk to, oddly, is my ex. She started working there a few months ago and he gave her a bit of grief initially, but her dad is not someone to be messed with, and plays golf with his boss. During a game he said to him 'Make sure that little **** leaves my daughter alone or I will be up there' at which point he spoke to my manager and said for his benefit, I'd leave it.

    I don't have nepotism or a big scary dad who's in with his boss

    I'm going to work tonight, I hate tuesdays because he just gets drunk and annoying

    Unfortunately there's always one idiot at every work place, in every class, in every friendship group... Have a quiet word with the sister in law if its really bothering you, explain the situation- surely a manager causing a scene like that on a regular basis will not do the business any favours. Maybe be looking for other options in case it continues. Crappy he's making your work so unbearable.
    • Thread Starter

    Went into work tonight, my girlfriend was in with me though so he pretty much ignored me...

    Absolutely bricking it as I cannot find my work key, I'm going to have to go in tomorrow and tell him and he won't be happy

    I hate this job...

    No one has the right to treat you like that. If you hate your job, you are more likely to make mistakes and get into more trouble. I would quit before the tension builds too much - The only leverage he has against you is to fire you, but to be honest, I bet you could find a better boss elsewhere. He does nothing for your development, apart from showing you how not to behave.

    I once worked at Costa Coffee and had a really bad boss too. I was on the verge of quitting before he left. Afterwards, the new manager was much more understanding, tolerable and organised. She also liked what she did. Ask yourself if you think your manager likes what he does?
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: August 1, 2012
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Electronic notes or handwritten notes?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.