I'm really tight..
I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if I should be worried or see a doctor, actually feel rather silly asking.
I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.
My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.
Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!
I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.
My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.
Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!
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Firstly, are you well lubricated when you have sex??
Original post by yennibubs
Firstly, are you well lubricated when you have sex??
Well I would think so, I've never used any specific lubricants but I get wet quite quickly and we always have foreplay for quite a while before which doesn't hurt me at all, I just don't know why I'm like this because I'm not nervous or anything. It's strange.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if I should be worried or see a doctor, actually feel rather silly asking.
I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.
My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.
Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!
I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.
My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.
Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!
I am EXACTLY the same, I feel quite relieved to have found someone like me! I have been sexually active for 6 years (I'm 24) and pretty much every time hurts as much as my first time, I literally have to psych myself up for the pain - if i'm having it regularly the pain slowly subsides but I still have to use LOADS of lube. I have been with guys who are like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" haha, it's weird to have to convince someone you've had sex before. I don't know what it is, it's almost like my vagina shrinks if I'm not having sex on a regular basis. Oh and having it more than once in the space of 24hrs is impossible!
Original post by Anonymous
I am EXACTLY the same, I feel quite relieved to have found someone like me! I have been sexually active for 6 years (I'm 24) and pretty much every time hurts as much as my first time, I literally have to psych myself up for the pain - if i'm having it regularly the pain slowly subsides but I still have to use LOADS of lube. I have been with guys who are like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" haha, it's weird to have to convince someone you've had sex before. I don't know what it is, it's almost like my vagina shrinks if I'm not having sex on a regular basis. Oh and having it more than once in the space of 24hrs is impossible!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if I should be worried or see a doctor, actually feel rather silly asking.
I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.
My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.
Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!
I've been sexually active for about 5 years (don't know if this is relevant, but I lost my virginity at 14, but didn't start having regular sex until I was about 16) I'm 21 now and I often get comments about how tight I am.
My new boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for a few weeks and he's convinced that I was a virgin before meeting him, we have sex once or twice in the evening, but in the morning if we decide to it really really hurts me, I have never experienced this amount of pain from morning sex in the past and I'm getting a bit worried, he isn't particularly "large" down there, possibly even smaller than average, but it kind of feels like he is very big because I'm so tight, it gets very painful.
Could there be something wrong with me? He thinks it's because I'm really short and petite but I'm getting worried that there could be something else? Should I see a doctor? It's just so embarrassing!
I'm the same too! I'm very tight and sex does hurt. I'm short, 5 foot 1 to be exact. I've had the comments about it being because I'm small before, but I don't think it's down to that.
I've taken to using dildo's and things to 'open me up' and get my body used to the stretching. It's painful at first, but it becomes easier. That's the only thing I can advise. Have you every teared from sex? This was a frequent problem for me, I found that doing perennial stretching massages helps. I would agree with the other poster and say that lube does ease it all up a bit, I never have sex without it now.
I don't really think there's anything wrong with you, or me. I would suggest you go ask your doctor, I've been, and she examined me and said well, your just tight! But maybe there's a reason why you are, you never know. it wont hurt to go to the doctors
Other than that, give your body as regular 'use' as you can, even if you only have to use your fingers at first to avoid pain. It will get better.
Original post by Anonymous
I am EXACTLY the same, I feel quite relieved to have found someone like me! I have been sexually active for 6 years (I'm 24) and pretty much every time hurts as much as my first time, I literally have to psych myself up for the pain - if i'm having it regularly the pain slowly subsides but I still have to use LOADS of lube. I have been with guys who are like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" haha, it's weird to have to convince someone you've had sex before. I don't know what it is, it's almost like my vagina shrinks if I'm not having sex on a regular basis. Oh and having it more than once in the space of 24hrs is impossible!
Oh wow, yeah i'm relieved too! I'm slightly different, like I can have sex maybe twice in 24hrs but the third time is absolute agony, but i'm really sure I didn't used to be like this.. it just seems so odd! Maybe i'll try using lube, but i've never really felt like i've needed it, very confusing!
The weird thing is though, about a month before me and my boyfriend got together I slept with someone who was a hell of a lot bigger than my boyfriend and didn't have any pain.. seriously he must of been twice as big, but then again we only did it once and I think he was quite careful with me and was saying how tight I was.
But omg yeah the virgin thing is so annoying haha, not that i'd be embarassed to be a virgin, I really wouldn't care but he just seems so proud of it
Anyway I don't know because I haven't felt nervous as such with my new boyf, but the 'bigger' guy i've been friends with for a long time and I really trust him so maybe we're kind of subconsciously nervous? I just don't know. I have heard of people going a bit like that when they're nervous? hmm...
Original post by Anonymous
Oh wow, yeah i'm relieved too! I'm slightly different, like I can have sex maybe twice in 24hrs but the third time is absolute agony, but i'm really sure I didn't used to be like this.. it just seems so odd! Maybe i'll try using lube, but i've never really felt like i've needed it, very confusing!
The weird thing is though, about a month before me and my boyfriend got together I slept with someone who was a hell of a lot bigger than my boyfriend and didn't have any pain.. seriously he must of been twice as big, but then again we only did it once and I think he was quite careful with me and was saying how tight I was.
But omg yeah the virgin thing is so annoying haha, not that i'd be embarassed to be a virgin, I really wouldn't care but he just seems so proud of it
Anyway I don't know because I haven't felt nervous as such with my new boyf, but the 'bigger' guy i've been friends with for a long time and I really trust him so maybe we're kind of subconsciously nervous? I just don't know. I have heard of people going a bit like that when they're nervous? hmm...
The weird thing is though, about a month before me and my boyfriend got together I slept with someone who was a hell of a lot bigger than my boyfriend and didn't have any pain.. seriously he must of been twice as big, but then again we only did it once and I think he was quite careful with me and was saying how tight I was.
But omg yeah the virgin thing is so annoying haha, not that i'd be embarassed to be a virgin, I really wouldn't care but he just seems so proud of it
Anyway I don't know because I haven't felt nervous as such with my new boyf, but the 'bigger' guy i've been friends with for a long time and I really trust him so maybe we're kind of subconsciously nervous? I just don't know. I have heard of people going a bit like that when they're nervous? hmm...
Hmmm, yeah that is weird that you never used to be like that. I've always had it with everyone i've been with from long term boyfriends to drunken one nighters so I doubt mine is from the same cause as yours. I'd say yours was maybe more psychological? Perhaps you are nervous without knowing it, or worried about pain? Or perhaps the shape of his penis just doesn't fit well into you? (regardless of size)....
Original post by lilabs
I'm the same too! I'm very tight and sex does hurt. I'm short, 5 foot 1 to be exact. I've had the comments about it being because I'm small before, but I don't think it's down to that.
I've taken to using dildo's and things to 'open me up' and get my body used to the stretching. It's painful at first, but it becomes easier. That's the only thing I can advise. Have you every teared from sex? This was a frequent problem for me, I found that doing perennial stretching massages helps. I would agree with the other poster and say that lube does ease it all up a bit, I never have sex without it now.
I don't really think there's anything wrong with you, or me. I would suggest you go ask your doctor, I've been, and she examined me and said well, your just tight! But maybe there's a reason why you are, you never know. it wont hurt to go to the doctors
Other than that, give your body as regular 'use' as you can, even if you only have to use your fingers at first to avoid pain. It will get better.
I've taken to using dildo's and things to 'open me up' and get my body used to the stretching. It's painful at first, but it becomes easier. That's the only thing I can advise. Have you every teared from sex? This was a frequent problem for me, I found that doing perennial stretching massages helps. I would agree with the other poster and say that lube does ease it all up a bit, I never have sex without it now.
I don't really think there's anything wrong with you, or me. I would suggest you go ask your doctor, I've been, and she examined me and said well, your just tight! But maybe there's a reason why you are, you never know. it wont hurt to go to the doctors
Other than that, give your body as regular 'use' as you can, even if you only have to use your fingers at first to avoid pain. It will get better.
Hmm maybe i'll try that. The thing i'm so confused about is though, I really would say that i'm quite experienced and have been with 'bigger' guys than my boyfriend so he should be pretty painless really.. it sounds horrible but he's slept with a girl who is younger than me and says she's like a bucket compared to me..yeah niceee image, so I just thought I wouldn't be like this at this age.
No I don't think i've ever teared before, sounds painful though!
I think I will try the lube just to see what it's like! Last week I had an sti test which all came back fine, I should of said something really but I just find it really embarassing. The nurse kind of looks at you 'down there' so hopefully she would of noticed if something was wrong...One other thing (seriously can't believe i'm saying all this - thank god for anon haha!) is we've been doing some quite complex positions, my legs were aching for ages from being kind of held like that for ages so maybe this position i'm not used to is making me sore, but it still doesn't really explain the tightness..
Thanks for the advice anyway, was really useful, if I ever have the guts to buy a dildo to help, do I buy a small one or ...? haha!
Original post by Anonymous
Hmmm, yeah that is weird that you never used to be like that. I've always had it with everyone i've been with from long term boyfriends to drunken one nighters so I doubt mine is from the same cause as yours. I'd say yours was maybe more psychological? Perhaps you are nervous without knowing it, or worried about pain? Or perhaps the shape of his penis just doesn't fit well into you? (regardless of size)....
Yeah you definitely could be right! Thankyou
I think I have always been tight but maybe the nervousness is making it worse so it's making me sore.. I don't think it's the sex that makes me nervous, but I do have my doubts whether I should actually be with this guy, I feel really ugly compared to him haha and he's a bit of a player.. well used to be but we'll see..Could be just me not trusting him as much, he's like the biggest chance i've ever took with a guy because I know what he's like, but I can't help liking him.
It's just weird though because when we're doing it I don't really feel any nerves or anything.. can't get my head around it!
Original post by Anonymous
Hmm maybe i'll try that. The thing i'm so confused about is though, I really would say that i'm quite experienced and have been with 'bigger' guys than my boyfriend so he should be pretty painless really.. it sounds horrible but he's slept with a girl who is younger than me and says she's like a bucket compared to me..yeah niceee image, so I just thought I wouldn't be like this at this age.
No I don't think i've ever teared before, sounds painful though! I think I will try the lube just to see what it's like! Last week I had an sti test which all came back fine, I should of said something really but I just find it really embarassing. The nurse kind of looks at you 'down there' so hopefully she would of noticed if something was wrong...
One other thing (seriously can't believe i'm saying all this - thank god for anon haha!) is we've been doing some quite complex positions, my legs were aching for ages from being kind of held like that for ages so maybe this position i'm not used to is making me sore, but it still doesn't really explain the tightness..
Thanks for the advice anyway, was really useful, if I ever have the guts to buy a dildo to help, do I buy a small one or ...? haha!
No I don't think i've ever teared before, sounds painful though!
I think I will try the lube just to see what it's like! Last week I had an sti test which all came back fine, I should of said something really but I just find it really embarassing. The nurse kind of looks at you 'down there' so hopefully she would of noticed if something was wrong...One other thing (seriously can't believe i'm saying all this - thank god for anon haha!) is we've been doing some quite complex positions, my legs were aching for ages from being kind of held like that for ages so maybe this position i'm not used to is making me sore, but it still doesn't really explain the tightness..
Thanks for the advice anyway, was really useful, if I ever have the guts to buy a dildo to help, do I buy a small one or ...? haha!
I'm very happy to help
You're probably okay with starting at an average, I have a rabbit, it's not huge, it's not small. Does it hurt with your fingers? If not, a normal size would be fine Hehe, yes that probably would have some affect, some positions all my muscles are tight in, which of course extends to the pelvic floor muscles, which makes me tight (you know when you squeeze down there, them). You could be tensing them in certain positions, which would make you tighter and sore.
It is odd that you are in pain now when it's not your first time, but then I think some people are like that. I've had a lot of sex, but that doesn't mean if I haven't had it in a while im not sore! Some of us are just tight and that's that. I would just try with the regular 'stretching'
to help ease you open, so to speak.Also just to say, if you don't want to buy a dildo, then there are other things to use. I would say what these things are, but some people would probably faint if they read it hahaha. PM me if you're curious to know, chances are you can be in inventive yourself around the house.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah you definitely could be right! Thankyou I think I have always been tight but maybe the nervousness is making it worse so it's making me sore.. I don't think it's the sex that makes me nervous, but I do have my doubts whether I should actually be with this guy, I feel really ugly compared to him haha and he's a bit of a player.. well used to be but we'll see..
I think I have always been tight but maybe the nervousness is making it worse so it's making me sore.. I don't think it's the sex that makes me nervous, but I do have my doubts whether I should actually be with this guy, I feel really ugly compared to him haha and he's a bit of a player.. well used to be but we'll see..This will affect your body, you're right. After being sore so often I began to get nervous of taking his cock, which meant my body would automatically tense up from the nerves, hence adding to tightness.
Try to understand your feelings for this guy and realize that you're not really ugly compared to him! Chances are from what you've said that if that was the case and he is a player, he wouldn't be having sex with you if he found you 'really ugly'.
Original post by lilabs
This will affect your body, you're right. After being sore so often I began to get nervous of taking his cock, which meant my body would automatically tense up from the nerves, hence adding to tightness.
Try to understand your feelings for this guy and realize that you're not really ugly compared to him! Chances are from what you've said that if that was the case and he is a player, he wouldn't be having sex with you if he found you 'really ugly'.
Try to understand your feelings for this guy and realize that you're not really ugly compared to him! Chances are from what you've said that if that was the case and he is a player, he wouldn't be having sex with you if he found you 'really ugly'.
Aw thankyou for all your advice! I think i'm gonna have a word with him about my concerns and hopefully things might get a bit better in that "area" lol.
I'm gonna PM you about the household dildos hahah hope that's alright!
Original post by Anonymous
Aw thankyou for all your advice! I think i'm gonna have a word with him about my concerns and hopefully things might get a bit better in that "area" lol.
I'm gonna PM you about the household dildos hahah hope that's alright!
I'm gonna PM you about the household dildos hahah hope that's alright!
No problem whatsoever
yes, speaking is aaaaalways a great way to sort things like this
I know where you're coming from, every single time I have sex it is a massive struggle to get the penis in. Me and my boyfriend have sex very regularly and usually no less than 2 times in one session and even on round 2 or 3 it is just as difficult to get it in. It doesn't really hurt as much any more, it's just really tight, a bit uncomfortable and such an effort getting him in.
Have you tried different positions? It doesn't seem to make a difference for me, but it could do for you? Also, lube could help and make sure there is PLENTY of foreplay.
If you're really worried about it -especially as it hurts you so much and the pain seems to have developed over a period of time - then maybe go and speak to a doctor, just to make sure there isn't a specific problem down there.
Have you tried different positions? It doesn't seem to make a difference for me, but it could do for you? Also, lube could help and make sure there is PLENTY of foreplay.
If you're really worried about it -especially as it hurts you so much and the pain seems to have developed over a period of time - then maybe go and speak to a doctor, just to make sure there isn't a specific problem down there.
I was fine when I was with my boyfriend then we turned LDR and I don't see him often at all but I have now found that when I do see him it does hurt. I think that it's just because I need to get used to it again! I also get nervous because he hasn't seen me in a while and fear that he'll not like how I look anymore lol doesn't help! I told him though and he's very understanding and takes it easy
If you have any reason to be nervous you'll be more tense therefore more likely to hurt.
If you have any reason to be nervous you'll be more tense therefore more likely to hurt.
Just in case anyone is reading this now and looking for help, most likely these girls had overly tight pelvic muscles and needed physiotherapy to stretch and relax them. I had this problem for many years and it was a long long process to get better, mostly because the doctors you go to have no idea. When i did a lot of research online and learnt about pelvic floor muscle tension/ pelvic floor dysfunction/ vulvodynia plus all the other names that can be used to describe it, I got my doctor to refer me to a women's health physiotherapist. These women specialise in the pelvic floor.. although you need to find the right one! The first one I saw was close to retirement and was used to seeing women with incontinence problems (the opposite problem to me as it generally means the muscles are too lose) so she hadn't been trained to treat me. She used a bio feedback machine to teach me how to recognise whether my muscles were tensed or relaxed and that helped a bit but it wasn't enough to treat the problem. It's like having a chronically sprained ankle - you can't just tell it to relax, you need a programme of massage, stretches and later strengthening to rehabilitate it back to normal function. Eventually I found a women's physiotherapist who was trained in "manual pelvic floor therapy techniques" which means that she could manually assess (i.e. use her finger!) how my pelvic muscles were functioning and then massage and stretch the muscles to get them functioning normally. It may seem strange but remember these specialists do this every day and they are trained to support you through the process. This sort of problem happens more than you think and the tight muscles can be caused by a variety of things. For example some women subconciously tense those muscles from stress (a bit like how someone with a stressful job can end up with tight neck and shoulder muscles), some do too many kegels and forget how to relax their muscles, and some have musculoskeletal issues with the rest of their body which affects how the pelvis is functioning. I'd say all three of those applied to me to some extent. The last one may be less common, but I had very bad posture and very weak core muscles, which meant that I had an unstable pelvis and issues like sacroilliac dysfunction. Not only was that making it harder to breathe and move well but my pelvic floor was tensing up when I did any physical activity in response to the lack of stability. Whatever the cause, you end up with muscles that are tight and shortened which means that they can't function normally and they can't relax and open to allow pain-free sex. It's not your fault it's just a physiological problem that can be upsetting to deal with and unfortunately the lack of training that doctors have means women frequently don't get the information they need. My treatment with the women's health physio involved going for appointments where she would do manual internal work on my pelvic floor, doing stretching exercises at home using a wand (I recommend EZ Magic glass wand) and just throughout the day using my new found awareness to focus on letting the tension in the pelvic floor go. In my case, which as I say won't apply to everyone, I also had sessions with a general physiotherapist and an osteopath to improve my posture etc. During those extra sessions I learnt that I had extremely weak gluteal muscles (among many others), muscle imbalances, very tight breathing muscles and sacroilliac dysfunction (definitely worth looking into that though especially if you have any extra symptoms e.g. a history of lower back pain, coccyx pain, trouble sitting, poor breathing etc..) Just to be clear I'm not talking about kegels exercises - these should be avoided unless under supervision. If your muscles are tense then kegels can make things worse! It took time but it worked and I now have pain free sex Sometimes I get a flare up but I now know how to fix it using my wand and to be more aware of what my body is doing. I recommend looking at Jilly Bond's videos on you tube. I only discovered her recently but she explains things brilliantly. If this affects you, don't despair, don't let anyone tell you that it's just you or that it can't be treated and don't let anyone tell you that you have to spend your life on pain meds! It can be treated but it's very important to find a women's physio who is trained in manual pelvic floor rehabilitation techniques, not just bio feedback. Be patient and kind to yourself as it takes time but it does work. Try to take a holistic approach: see the right physio, even if it can only be for a few sessions as they can assess you individually and make sure you know how to do the exercises; look into how well you are breathing; have a look at what the rest of your body is doing if you think that might be an issue; and have a look at ways to reduce stress too. If I can get better you can too
Sometimes I get a flare up but I now know how to fix it using my wand and to be more aware of what my body is doing. I recommend looking at Jilly Bond's videos on you tube. I only discovered her recently but she explains things brilliantly. If this affects you, don't despair, don't let anyone tell you that it's just you or that it can't be treated and don't let anyone tell you that you have to spend your life on pain meds! It can be treated but it's very important to find a women's physio who is trained in manual pelvic floor rehabilitation techniques, not just bio feedback. Be patient and kind to yourself as it takes time but it does work. Try to take a holistic approach: see the right physio, even if it can only be for a few sessions as they can assess you individually and make sure you know how to do the exercises; look into how well you are breathing; have a look at what the rest of your body is doing if you think that might be an issue; and have a look at ways to reduce stress too. If I can get better you can too (edited 7 years ago)
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we’ve never successfully managed one have penetrative sex. I found a condition called Vaginismus which is involuntary tightening of the muscles - like I’m ready in my mind but my body doesn’t want to.
I’m very scared and I don’t really know what to do about it because every ‘solution’ I’ve heard of is either extremely expensive or takes a long time to make progress (doesn’t sound overly successful).
At the same time, I don’t even know if it actually is this condition... I just don’t know what to do - my boyfriend has been amazing and so patient but now he’s getting frustrated and insecure.
Any help is much appreciated. X
I’m very scared and I don’t really know what to do about it because every ‘solution’ I’ve heard of is either extremely expensive or takes a long time to make progress (doesn’t sound overly successful).
At the same time, I don’t even know if it actually is this condition... I just don’t know what to do - my boyfriend has been amazing and so patient but now he’s getting frustrated and insecure.
Any help is much appreciated. X
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we’ve never successfully managed one have penetrative sex. I found a condition called Vaginismus which is involuntary tightening of the muscles - like I’m ready in my mind but my body doesn’t want to.
I’m very scared and I don’t really know what to do about it because every ‘solution’ I’ve heard of is either extremely expensive or takes a long time to make progress (doesn’t sound overly successful).
At the same time, I don’t even know if it actually is this condition... I just don’t know what to do - my boyfriend has been amazing and so patient but now he’s getting frustrated and insecure.
Any help is much appreciated. X
I’m very scared and I don’t really know what to do about it because every ‘solution’ I’ve heard of is either extremely expensive or takes a long time to make progress (doesn’t sound overly successful).
At the same time, I don’t even know if it actually is this condition... I just don’t know what to do - my boyfriend has been amazing and so patient but now he’s getting frustrated and insecure.
Any help is much appreciated. X
Hi there. Have you seen my post a little further up - the long one. It might help. Vaginisms is just one of the reasons why you could be tight. If you're tight all the time then most likely it's that your pelvic floor muscles are just chronically tight and you need physiotherapy. I'm having specialist physiotherapy at the moment and it's working wonders. Tight muscles can be rehabilitated and stretched so that they start functioning normally and are relaxed enough to allow penetration. The tricky thing is finding the right physio as not all women's physios are trained in treating tight pelvic floor muscles and pelvic pain. What city do you live in? I might be able to find out if there is one in your area. There might even be one on the nhs so you wouldn't have to pay.
I'm new to this forum so I don't know if there is a way to private message or if we can share email addresses but I'm happy to talk more privately if there is?
It sounds like you have a very supportive boyfriend which is great. I know it's hard but the right kind of physio really does help and you can work through it together. And some of the gentle stretching excercises (using a finger) I'm sure he would enjoy helping with
You have to build up to things slowly though as causing pain won't help, so I'd say you definitely need to be assessed by the physio first and given guidance on how best to start. You're right it's not a quick fix and it takes time but being able to have sex and without pain will be worth it. xIm the same, Im 5’5 and I lost my virginity at 17 and it was not enjoyable as I thought I’d enjoy it but it was a struggle as I was very tight I then recently had sex again I’m still 17 and the first time was around March and the second time was 2 days ago. He said I was very tight and then he tried to put it in but it hurt to much for me so he had to stop. He said I wasn’t tight enough and then he used some lube and it was then fine. I would like to know, everytime I have sex will it always hurt and will I always be too tight? I’m too embarrassed to talk to someone about it or go to the doctors 😅
Original post by Elz00_
Im the same, Im 5’5 and I lost my virginity at 17 and it was not enjoyable as I thought I’d enjoy it but it was a struggle as I was very tight I then recently had sex again I’m still 17 and the first time was around March and the second time was 2 days ago. He said I was very tight and then he tried to put it in but it hurt to much for me so he had to stop. He said I wasn’t tight enough and then he used some lube and it was then fine. I would like to know, everytime I have sex will it always hurt and will I always be too tight? I’m too embarrassed to talk to someone about it or go to the doctors 😅
I would try it with lube, and plenty of foreplay alongside being relaxed. If it works, then great! And I'd stick to using lube everytime (there's no shame I still do ) if it's not enough and you're still in pain, or concerned about the pain then definitely see a doctor and check whether it's an underlying condition. I felt the same but the truth is they are there to help and it was the best thing I ever did
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