The Student Room Group

They don't understand

It is really annoying me the way so many people are saying that people who cheat aren't in love with the person they cheated on. Most of the people who are saying this, i believe, are people who have never cheated so how can they form an opinion like that, they don't know how it feels. I cheated on my ex boyfriend once, not for a minute did i not love him until the moment i broke with him a few months later. Chating on someone does not mean you do love them, cheating is going in search of something that you are not egtting in the relationship, i'm sure many people who have cheated will agree that they didn't cheat because they didn;t love the person they cheated on. I loved my ex, I can admit i cheated on him and i can admit that it was wrong and i shouldn't have done it but, it doesn't mean i didn't love him. Cheating is something a person does on a time of desperation, for want of something.

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Reply 1

The cheating is a treachery of people who believe you.
Reply 2
But if you truly love them you wouldn't want to hurt them, and so no matter how much you missed whatever you wouldn't cheat.
i agree with the OP. it doesnt mean u dont love them. not cheating on someone is hard to do when u are used to just doing what u want. i love my bf so much but i have cheated on him and regret it deeply. i felt so bad that i dont think i could do it again tho.
Reply 4
The_Crow
It is really annoying me the way so many people are saying that people who cheat aren't in love with the person they cheated on. Most of the people who are saying this, i believe, are people who have never cheated so how can they form an opinion like that, they don't know how it feels. I cheated on my ex boyfriend once, not for a minute did i not love him until the moment i broke with him a few months later. Chating on someone does not mean you do love them, cheating is going in search of something that you are not egtting in the relationship, i'm sure many people who have cheated will agree that they didn't cheat because they didn;t love the person they cheated on. I loved my ex, I can admit i cheated on him and i can admit that it was wrong and i shouldn't have done it but, it doesn't mean i didn't love him. Cheating is something a person does on a time of desperation, for want of something.


you're the shallowest, most insensitive wart i've ever had the misfortune to meet...

"searching for something thats not in the relationship", eh? how low can you get? that is NO reason to cheat on someone, and if you do that then you deserve to be pimp-slapped, or else you need a boyfriend that always keeps you on the very edge of your toes, so you wouldnt look out for someone else...:mad:

listen, i have cheated and also been cheated on, and that was purely because i did not love the girl as much, or she didnt love me...
Reply 5

To Anonymous: you say that you love your boyfriend so much. Why did you cheat on him?
Reply 6
Alexandr
To Anonymous: you say that you love your boyfriend so much. Why did you cheat on him?


exactly my point... didnt you feel the dry feeling in the place where your legs meet, when you cheated on him?
The_Crow
It is really annoying me the way so many people are saying that people who cheat aren't in love with the person they cheated on. Most of the people who are saying this, i believe, are people who have never cheated so how can they form an opinion like that, they don't know how it feels. I cheated on my ex boyfriend once, not for a minute did i not love him until the moment i broke with him a few months later. Chating on someone does not mean you do love them, cheating is going in search of something that you are not egtting in the relationship, i'm sure many people who have cheated will agree that they didn't cheat because they didn;t love the person they cheated on. I loved my ex, I can admit i cheated on him and i can admit that it was wrong and i shouldn't have done it but, it doesn't mean i didn't love him. Cheating is something a person does on a time of desperation, for want of something.


If you feel that something is missing from the relationship then break up with them...simple.

There is no excuse for cheating- it's a simple choice, you either want to be with the person or you don't. And if you do then you don't cheat. If you don't then you break up with them and are free to do what you like with other people.

Ruthie xx
this thread is about how ppl dont understand so the OP gets a load of replies from ppl who really dont get where shes coming from. is it just me or is everyone missing the point here. the OP isnt saying that cheating is right but she is saying why she did it.

and to alexandr i was drunk and horney and in a long distance relationship. i dont think i could do long distance again. im the kind of person who needs physical contact. im not the most verbal of people.
Reply 9
If someone cheats on you then clearly they aren't the person for you and you're better off without them. THey aren't who you thought they were.
Nevertheless it's inevitably hard to let go.
I'm sure my answer will change once I experience it.
The_Crow
It is really annoying me the way so many people are saying that people who cheat aren't in love with the person they cheated on. Most of the people who are saying this, i believe, are people who have never cheated so how can they form an opinion like that, they don't know how it feels. I cheated on my ex boyfriend once, not for a minute did i not love him until the moment i broke with him a few months later. Chating on someone does not mean you do love them, cheating is going in search of something that you are not egtting in the relationship, i'm sure many people who have cheated will agree that they didn't cheat because they didn;t love the person they cheated on. I loved my ex, I can admit i cheated on him and i can admit that it was wrong and i shouldn't have done it but, it doesn't mean i didn't love him. Cheating is something a person does on a time of desperation, for want of something.



If you really loved him, you would of told him what issues you had with the relationship before going a head and cheating.

If ya cheat, something isnt right. Theres no excuse really... (unless its on a break... lol )
Juno
But if you truly love them you wouldn't want to hurt them, and so no matter how much you missed whatever you wouldn't cheat.

Pleople cheat for hundreds of different reasons but it does not mean you didn't love, the regret you feel afterwards shows just how much you do love them.
Reply 12
The_Crow
Pleople cheat for hundreds of different reasons but it does not mean you didn't love, the regret you feel afterwards shows just how much you do love them.


The regret is just a sign of guilt, not love.

If you love someone, you wouldn't betray them. Loyalty is a pre-requisite of love, and no matter how you phrase it, cheating is a betrayal. If you were really in love with someone, cheating on them would be too abhorrent to even *think* about, let alone do.

Maybe you think you love this person, but if you're willing to cheat on them, I'd have to say you don't (and merely think you do).
anjurdsg
you're the shallowest, most insensitive wart i've ever had the misfortune to meet...

"searching for something thats not in the relationship", eh? how low can you get? that is NO reason to cheat on someone, and if you do that then you deserve to be pimp-slapped, or else you need a boyfriend that always keeps you on the very edge of your toes, so you wouldnt look out for someone else...:mad:

listen, i have cheated and also been cheated on, and that was purely because i did not love the girl as much, or she didnt love me...

You are in the minority i believe ok, some people cheat because they don;t love the person as in your case but other people cheat for other reasons, i really did love my boyfriend, if you really want to know what happened amnd my reasons here you go.

Firstly he didn't realise why things were important to me and the night in question really meant something to me so he deliberately didn't come to upset me, he told me i would cheat on the night in question so I did it partly out of spite. He'd let me down so many times, so if anyone in the relationship was not loving it was him, despite all this i still loved him.
The_Crow
Pleople cheat for hundreds of different reasons but it does not mean you didn't love, the regret you feel afterwards shows just how much you do love them.


It's very likely that despite cheating on the boyfriend, you still wanted him as a boyfriend. That's no big revelation. If a girl cheats, she wants a bit of fun on the side with a guy who doesn't necessarily care about her or even would ever want her for anything else than sex, but is desperately worried about losing the stability that having a boyfriend offers.

Whether the person loves the partner they cheat on, one thing is for sure: they don't respect them. I think that that's a prerequisite to love someone. Some people don't think so.
The_Crow
Pleople cheat for hundreds of different reasons but it does not mean you didn't love, the regret you feel afterwards shows just how much you do love them.


It's very likely that despite cheating on the boyfriend, you still wanted him as a boyfriend. That's no big revelation. If a girl cheats, she wants a bit of fun on the side with a guy who doesn't necessarily care about her or even would ever want her for anything else than sex, but is desperately worried about losing the stability that having a boyfriend offers.

Whether the person loves the partner they cheat on, one thing is for sure: they don't respect them as a person. I think that that's a prerequisite to love someone. Some people don't think so.
Telling them immediately afterwards shows some form of respect but hiding it, just shows total lack of respect and also is in a certain way, insulting their intelligence.
ruthiepoothie
If you feel that something is missing from the relationship then break up with them...simple.

There is no excuse for cheating- it's a simple choice, you either want to be with the person or you don't. And if you do then you don't cheat. If you don't then you break up with them and are free to do what you like with other people.

Ruthie xx

Its not that simple, if you think that then you clearly have never been in love. Love is not gonna necessarily stop someone cheating. It is very hard to explain, so i'm gonna give up trying. Love is a very complex thing.
K'uin K'ra
The regret is just a sign of guilt, not love.

If you love someone, you wouldn't betray them. Loyalty is a pre-requisite of love, and no matter how you phrase it, cheating is a betrayal. If you were really in love with someone, cheating on them would be too abhorrent to even *think* about, let alone do.

Maybe you think you love this person, but if you're willing to cheat on them, I'd have to say you don't (and merely think you do).


Exactly what I think :smile:
I think cheating is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship as it totally destroys the trust plus the person cheated on is constantly thinking about it and comparing themselves and think they are not good enough etc. it can destroy there self confidence
Anyway like people have said, maybe you think you loved him but I really don't understand how people can cheat if they supposedly love their bf/gf
Reply 18
The_Crow
Its not that simple, if you think that then you clearly have never been in love. Love is not gonna necessarily stop someone cheating. It is very hard to explain, so i'm gonna give up trying. Love is a very complex thing.



If you think that, then it's clear to me that *you* have never been in love.

It strikes me that you're merely trying to appease your guilty conscience.
Plus for those who say once a cheater always a cheater i am with a different boyfriend now and i know for a fact that i wouldn't cheat on him in a million years, trust me, i've had the oppurtunity and haven't taken it.