Hi,
Wondering whether to go back to my Dr who prescribed me anti-depressants a few months ago. I stopped taking them because they made me want to OD on them + after taking loads I was put off them.
My Dr said I was depressed when I went to see her but I know I'm only unhappy because I'm fat + hate myself for it. I keep failing when I try not to binge + feel like I'll never get better- but is that depression or just me being a big fat pessimist?
I'm trying to get over bulimia, with counselling + following a CBT program on the internet, it's not going well at the moment- so please don't tell me to feel better I need to eat healthily, drink lots of water, avoid caffeine + take exercise. If I could do those things I would never have got myself into this position! Within the program I have to do a 'Hospital Anxiety and Depression' Test, am pretty ok as far as anxiety is concerned but every week I'm rated as having a problem with depression. Has anyone else had to do this? I'm not sure how reliable it is.
I can just carry on this way, I don't need to enjoy life all the time do I?
I'm finding it hard to concentrate or motivate myself to do school work, but I'm not too worried about the exams- just hate being behind. I feel bad for my boyfriend because even though I make an effort to be cheerful around him I get snappy or teary easily + feel really guilty for not being energetic + good to spend time with. I know I won't OD again or commit suicide- I do think that some time in the future I might be normal again.
Is it worth me going back onto fluoxetin? My counsellor + form tutor are encouraging me against this because anti-depressants don't work a lot of the time + the side effects are horrible, but I don't feel like there's much alternative apart from 'just trying harder' which I can't force myself to do at the moment.