Not getting anything out of uni life.

I must be the most disoriented person here in uni ever. I'm already in the spring semester of my second year (i.e. last few months of my second year in uni) and I still am not getting anything out of uni life.

I feel so helpless. I try not to indulge in self-pity and I do make an effort to join certain activities but they've all been in vain.

I am acquainted with only a few people in uni, and there's really nobody I could really talk to or hang out with, coupled with the fact that I have few acquaintances in this country I'm at (even though it's my homeland). I've tried to be desperate for a friend and non-desperate for a friend, but the problem is, I just don't know where to look for those people like me who are looking for friends in uni also. Other people just have their own lives and would very much prefer to have their own circle of close friends they've made in their first year at uni, thank you very much.

I'm really out of touch here. I don't operate at the same wavelength as anyone here at uni, it seems. It really frustrates me.

Just how could I start looking for a friend IN THE RIGHT PLACES?

Reply 1

~the_one~

1

What about in your first year, did you not make any friends there??

I feel so helpless. I try not to indulge in self-pity and I do make an effort to join certain activities but they've all been in vain.

Keep trying, yes, it does take effort but at the end you will find a group of friends that you get along with. Join societys that you know you will enjoy, increasing your chance of meeting like minded people. Theres no point going out of your way to go to a club to meet people, when you hate clubbing, chances are you wouldnt meet any people who share your interests.

Also could you not go outand socialise outside of your university, there is likfe beyond..

Reply 2

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

I'll be your friend :smile:

Reply 3

wantingmore

OP

~the_one~

What about in your first year, did you not make any friends there?? ..

Only a few acquaintances, I got into uni a little late and have some personal issues during the first year of uni. Moreover since those acquaintances don't really have the same timetable as me it's hard to meet up. Now they've all got their own sets of close friends.

~the_one~

Keep trying, yes, it does take effort but at the end you will find a group of friends that you get along with. Join societys that you know you will enjoy, increasing your chance of meeting like minded people. Theres no point going out of your way to go to a club to meet people, when you hate clubbing, chances are you wouldnt meet any people who share your interests.

Also could you not go outand socialise outside of your university, there is likfe beyond..

I would like to go hiking, just wondering how weird it would be if I joined a society hike alone? I find that almost everyone else join this sort of activities with a friend accompanying them cos they'll most probably be stuck in groups!

I feel that I've really little to offer. I mean everybody else inquires about my uni life and I've --simply -- got nothing much to talk about!

And yes I do join some activities outside uni, yes I do.
I just don't seem to be able to connect with anybody at all.

Reply 4

SamTheMan

17

Go abroad, change scenery.

Reply 5

enigma2506

I feel exactly the same, so don’t worry your not alone. Its strange because I've never had trouble making friends or getting involved in stuff but since I come to uni I have found it really difficult, and at times feel so uninvolved and alone. Ok for me I kind of know why, one thing is I’ve moved to stoke for uni, from london/kent, and my room is about 4miles from the uni so that’s left me feeling 'out of it'. The other thing is I’ve been in a relationship since I got up here n haven’t had the chance to socialise. But I know how you feel, unfortunately I do not have any advice to give as I still havent sorted it out myself. But at least you know your not alone :smile:

Reply 6

lawzer

I think where it went wrong was when you moved late. I think yous hould stick it out. Its easier to leave despite what u may think than it is to stay. When u egt to a point where youve overcome the obstacle, ull feel great. I think its something uve gotta face. Just wondering what uni do u go 2? I think it may be an idea to get a job outdies so u gt a different side of life. As for finding people in university. Here on this site isnt a bad place to start, go to ur uni an see. u like hiking see if anything there and try differnt things. With the hiking, u may not be grouped straight away but best to be easy going with that. They cant put u alone nayways..can they. And if they do..eventually ulls tart to talk. In ur classes, sit in different places if possible, until u get somehwree-dnt make it to obvious ur in the search of friends but itll come. If ur not conneting...what u said. U are possibly trying the wrong people. Try a different type to what u wld- u may be suprides. Hope this helps. Wish i was in my 2nd yr at ur uni and i had freinds. We'd so be freinds!! (sorry for poor spelling)

Reply 7

wantingmore

OP

SamTheMan

Go abroad, change scenery.

I've thought about that, but as you can see now I haven't, and I'm finishing my degree next year already! I'm still trying to adapt to this place, a place I'm supposed to call my homeland when I don't even feel "at home".

enigma2506

...

ttlbliss

I think where it went wrong was when you moved late. I think yous hould stick it out. Its easier to leave despite what u may think than it is to stay. When u egt to a point where youve overcome the obstacle, ull feel great. I think its something uve gotta face. Just wondering what uni do u go 2? I think it may be an idea to get a job outdies so u gt a different side of life. As for finding people in university. Here on this site isnt a bad place to start, go to ur uni an see. u like hiking see if anything there and try differnt things. With the hiking, u may not be grouped straight away but best to be easy going with that. They cant put u alone nayways..can they. And if they do..eventually ulls tart to talk. In ur classes, sit in different places if possible, until u get somehwree-dnt make it to obvious ur in the search of friends but itll come. If ur not conneting...what u said. U are possibly trying the wrong people. Try a different type to what u wld- u may be suprides. Hope this helps. Wish i was in my 2nd yr at ur uni and i had freinds. We'd so be freinds!! (sorry for poor spelling)

I go to a uni in asia, and people don't come to this site cos they don't know enough english to start with.
"Try a different type from what I would"---could you suggest some sources?
Societies, activities, classes---that's all I can think of.
I would like a close acquaintance in my own department, there're only 90 of them altogether, already clique-ish, and oh-so-unfriendly, so I've already forgotten about them.

Reply 8

sour stone

You make me feel bad about wanting to go...

Oh actually. You don't, I'm just bored and wanted to say something.

Reply 9

rock_eleven

1

werd, uni is **** for cool people like me too, so dont worry. Unless you can think of a really good reason to stay at uni (like if you think your degree is essential to your future happiness), then leave. This is the position I find myself in but can't manage to commit to doing anything about it - dont just stay there wasting money every day doing something you dont want to

Not getting anything out of uni life.

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