The Student Room Group

How to avoid someone

Ok, my bf doesn't like this male friend of mine, well he's not really a friend just an acquaintance. He's kinda weird, like he sat in my room the other day for two hours just talking at me when he just came up to get something. I was totally uncomfortable with having him there. He always seems to be asking me to go get coffee with him as well, most times I've said no but sometimes I just haven't had an excuse (you know when you're thinking of one and you just can't and it's really obvious). He texts me quite often too, sometimes really random things, but it's the holidays now and he's already text me to do with work.

Anyway I'm a bit of a bimbo basically (you know dyed blonde hair, fake tan, fake nails etc) and he's a bit "alternative" so I have no idea why he wants to be my friend anyway. So my bf thinks he has some thing for me, but whatever.

Anyway the point is my bf is getting well pissed off and he's saying he's going to knock him out if he doesn't leave me alone, I'm just being nice when he speaks to me, but I kinda want to avoid him so that my bf doesn't beat someone up who I then have to see til I graduate! My bf said he is definitely going to say something to this guy. Anyway I don't want things to be awkward if my bf does something stupid so I want to fix it myself, so how can I go about avoiding someone? I mean, I don't think it's a good idea to say "hey, my bf hates you, do you mind if you don't ever speak to me again?" is it??!
Reply 1
Any ideas???
Well, it sounds like you don't really like the guy anyway (the 'alternative' one), so why don't you just tell him you don't want to be friends with him, as you think that your personalities clash, or that you have very little in common, etc? That seems like the most obvious solution.
Bless this guy, he obviously likes you. Your bf sounds like a ***** if hes going to beat him up. How old is he anyway 15 seriously. Just let this guy down gently, dont hurt his feelings.
Reply 4
Anonymous
Bless this guy, he obviously likes you. Your bf sounds like a ***** if hes going to beat him up. How old is he anyway 15 seriously. Just let this guy down gently, dont hurt his feelings.


:s: Yeah I know, I don't want my bf to be a thug or something, it's totally not him. We're all at uni believe it or not!! The guy has a gf apparently. Erm, how do I let him down gently? I've never really had unwanted male attention before where I couldn't avoid them (I was single so I wanted it all haha!).
Maybe just tell the alternative guy that you feel uncomfortable with him in your room all the time? Like, 'it's nice to chat to you, but sometimes, I need to do work/I like my space/my boyfriend get jealous, so maybe you just come by a little less?'

or, lock your door, and don't reply to the texts?
Just make an excuse that you need to do work, best way if he has got a g/f then just to be civial with him, can't understand why your b/f wants to do his head in thats immature.
Reply 7
I don't really wanna tell him that I don't want to know him any more, bit harsh. How can I make him get the hint that I don't want to spend more time with him than I absolutely have to? Man I feel like evil saying this.
Reply 8
Well your boyfriend has alot of growing upto do it seems.
"Ill knock him out" what a nice guy he seems.
You cant avoid this guy so its best your straight with him about hwo your boyfriend feels, and tell this guy you think hes lovely and all but sometimes you like to have time to yourself.
I presume you wouldn't mind seeing this guy if it wasn't so often????
Reply 9
Dont reply to all of his texts...maybe once a week or something. He should get the idea. Keep your texts short and too the point. No chat. Lol.
Anonymous
I don't really wanna tell him that I don't want to know him any more, bit harsh. How can I make him get the hint that I don't want to spend more time with him than I absolutely have to? Man I feel like evil saying this.

Why don't you just tell the guy that you don't think that you have much in common, and that you feel that conversation is abit strained between you, and that you don't think that you can be friends in this situation?
Reply 11
Conversation isn't strained really, it's just he creeps me out. He is a absolute bastard to my bf though, when he met him he just said "hi" then ignored him and started talking to me and now if he sees us together he just says hi to me and totally blanks my bf. He won't knock him out becos hes not like that but he is very unhappy with this guy.
Reply 12
Anonymous
Conversation isn't strained really, it's just he creeps me out. He is a absolute bastard to my bf though, when he met him he just said "hi" then ignored him and started talking to me and now if he sees us together he just says hi to me and totally blanks my bf. He won't knock him out becos hes not like that but he is very unhappy with this guy.

What for this guy has done nothing wrong, not his fault if your not straight with him. Plus hes hardly being a bastard as he does atleast say hi tou your bf your boyfriend isn't unhappy with this guy hes just jealous im afraid
Reply 13
MNBStyle
What for this guy has done nothing wrong, not his fault if your not straight with him. Plus hes hardly being a bastard as he does atleast say hi tou your bf your boyfriend isn't unhappy with this guy hes just jealous im afraid


He doesn't say hi to my boyfriend, he blanks him completely.
Reply 14
Anonymous
He doesn't say hi to my boyfriend, he blanks him completely.

Usually when you say hi to people together its aimed at them both.
Saves saying hi twice after all, i think your bf needs to stop getting his arse in a twist over nothing and getting jealous.
Speak to this guy and say how you dont like him around all the time because you like time to yourself sometimes, perhaps also tell him to try get to know your boyfriend abit to as hes feeling left out.
Get some hormones, grow a beard, chop off a leg, replace it with a wooden stick, nail a parrot to your shoulder and pretend to be a pirate. Problem sorted. Your disguise should protect you.
Reply 16
I think you should be honest with this annoying guy, or you could be really cold with him - you know like really negative body language, not talkative - he'll pick up that you don't like him if he's got half a brain.
Reply 17
Put him off you. Say something you know he won't like you for. Be rude about his favourite band or something. He's probably got way the wrong idea about you anyway. I can't think what an "alternative" guy could see in you if you actually describe yourself as a bimbo.
Reply 18
Either he's reading you replying to texts, and being 'polite' and letting him sit there in your room for 2 hours as a positive and friendly response, so he thinks he's still in with a chance, or he's just plain pushy. Either way, he clearly isn't getting any negative signals so you need to change up a gear to make sure he gets it, cos this isn't fair on him or your boyfriend. Also, I don't know the guy but maybe he isn't acknowledging your boyfriend because he feels bad/guilty/is sensing he wants to beat him up?

Zoecb
I can't think what an "alternative" guy could see in you if you actually describe yourself as a bimbo.

Hilary Duff and Joel Madden from Good Charlotte though? Seems to work sometimes. Apparently 'bimbos' sometimes love the deep conversation an alternative guy can provide them with...hah.
Reply 19
ciara
Either he's reading you replying to texts, and being 'polite' and letting him sit there in your room for 2 hours as a positive and friendly response, so he thinks he's still in with a chance, or he's just plain pushy. Either way, he clearly isn't getting any negative signals so you need to change up a gear to make sure he gets it, cos this isn't fair on him or your boyfriend. Also, I don't know the guy but maybe he isn't acknowledging your boyfriend because he feels bad/guilty/is sensing he wants to beat him up?

My bf is nice to his face weirdly. Umm. So how can I give off negative signals without being nasty? I can walk round with a face on but if someone talks to me and is nice I'm like all happy and stuff.

Hilary Duff and Joel Madden from Good Charlotte though? Seems to work sometimes. Apparently 'bimbos' sometimes love the deep conversation an alternative guy can provide them with...hah.

Yeah, I guess, I dunno, I prefer intelligent conversation to stoner philosophies!