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as far as marriage...

I'm sorry if this sounds like something small, but do you think that a guy would go as far as to marry you for sex? It's just that if I mentioned sex after marriage, my boyfriend talks about marriage and like planning it out almost...

What are your opinions on it? Do you think this is strange behaviour or not? He seems willing to marry me eventually, but it seems that sex is a big part of the reason. I don't know if I'm stupid for thinking of someone so shallowly, but please, give your opinions. Thank you.

[sorry for the anonymous! he might read this!]

How old are you?

I guess it does give him more of an incentive, but i'm sure it's not his only reason (because lets face it, it's a hell of a lot of effort for it)... but in the end we don't know what he's thinking and the only way you will find out is to ask him

lou xxx

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

17

Reply 4

Happy1

14

Hmm i was always told that married people DONT have sex....

Reply 5

wendizzle22

1

It seems a bit drastic unless he has the same views as you do, or is of the same religion as you, if your views stem from that. Is he aware of what the marriage vows entail, and the sanctity of marriage? How long have you been together?

Reply 6

Daragh

15

Is he a no sex before marriage guy?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm not religious, but it's just a personal thing I have with regards to sex and making a commitment to your partner. He's not religious either.

We've been together for over 2 and a half years. I'm just really confused. I don't know, it just seems a bit strange, we're not even really that close and he's thinking about marriage and it just seems weird that's all..

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

deej2

Is he a no sex before marriage guy?

No, but when I said that I'd only have sex after a large commitment such as moving in together, or marriage, he started asking questions about marriage etc. and stuff in the far future.. Aargh it's late, I'm going to bed now, check on this thread in the morning!

Reply 9

Little Girl Red

1

If you've been together 2 and a half years, thats a long time, and I'm thinking that rather than going to all the effort of marrying you to have sex, he would have left you and had sex with some other person, if sex was all that he was after!
Surely if he has stayed with you all that time and is talking about marriage then he is being serious? If you don't want to think about it, then make this clear to him - that you're not ready for marriage.

Reply 10

Schmokie Dragon

17

Blokes don't marry for sex unless they are starved and despirate with no hope of getting it elsewhere. Lets face it, in modern society, that really isnt very likely.

I would say that if you are sure he is serious, he probably is. And while sex may be an incentive, I reckon its you he's after.

Reply 11

Apricot Fairy

16

If he's talking about marriage, but you say you've been together over two years and you're not even that close, I don't think this issue is your main problem...

Reply 12

Purple

18

^ Exactly I think you should talk to HIM about this.

Reply 13

jowsh

if you are thinking of marrying this guy......dont

Reply 14

shinytoy

18

i dont see why ou'd think this after 2 and a half years of being with him! he obviously isnt just after one thing - he wants to make love to you cos he loves you! i think you just , at 17, are not ready for marriage.

what i've come to realise is that it is pointless dating with a no-sex-before-marrige attitude unless you are planning to get married soon.i mean, otherwise what s the point?

Reply 15

tanusha-tomsk

18

It sounds like your gut instinct is right. No, he won't marry you for real. He is probable hoping that a month before your marriage you'll finally sleep with him (cos it'll be ok now you're engaged and all), and then he might even call it off. Don't sleep with him, don't marry him. Good luck!! x

Reply 16

shinytoy

18

tanusha-tomsk

It sounds like your gut instinct is right. No, he won't marry you for real. He is probable hoping that a month before your marriage you'll finally sleep with him (cos it'll be ok now you're engaged and all), and then he might even call it off. Don't sleep with him, don't marry him. Good luck!! x

well i dono. that seems low.
make it very very clear to him you dont care about being engaged - its the actual commitment to marriage on the night of the wedding that you will allow acess to the garden.

however, be careful - in the security of engagement he may try to push the boundaireis and once you get on the slippery slope its hard to stop

as far as marriage...

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