What will you be doing over the Easter break? >>

Is it moving too quickly?!

Right...:

2 nights ago, in a club, I met a very nice boy. By met I mean he started dancing with me, we kissed, and continued like that till I had to leave 30 minutes later(The only talking I did was to ask him his name not long before we left...). He asked for my number, and then text me the next day. I mustve had at least 30 messages off him, in which he told me that he didn't live where I do, and he was just passing through, and infact lives almost the other side of the country! I'd imagine a good 4-5 hour train ride. Anyway. We spoke on the phone tonight, for over an hour, and he's even sent me pictures to remind me what he looks like! Anyway, I asked if he'd let me knwo when he'd be around next,and he's said that he would and he might even make a special trip to see me.

If he did that, he'd have to stay with me I think. I wouldn't have a problem in him staying, but... I've never ever had a boy stay the night. I've had sex before, but they've never ever stayed. My ex boyfriend made a point of leaving at 4/5am even if it was a completely empty house. And, well.. That kind of scares me. What should I do? How long should I wait till I say its ok for him to come down? And will it be ok for him to stay? If he did, should I make a point of saying I have a spare bed (I only have my room though, so he could have a blow up bed on the floor..)?

This sounds so silly. But I think he's actually quite nice. And so I don't want to make things weird or mess thigns up and stuff. I just need some advice on what you lot think would be the best way to go about it!

Thanks in advance for any replies...

Reply 1

jd27

If you're uncomfortable with it, then don't do it. It's not for other people to judge; if you're scared, then you need to work out whether it is what you want. Remember there's always other ways of meeting him - if he came up early one morning and left in the evening, for example - without having to put him up for the night.

Reply 2

Talon

You want us to tell you if its ok for him to stay at your place?

Answer this: Do you want him to? If Yes -> Invite.
If No -> Dont Invite.

Staying till 5am is basically staying the whole night anyway. I used to get up at 6... Just invite him to come and stay and have done with it...

Reply 3

Feefifofum

First things first: there is no definite answer as to how quickly is 'too quickly', only you can answer that for yourself.

However, I would raise one concern here - you have only met this guy once, so is inviting him over to stay a really wise move? You don't want to get yourself into a situation that you don't feel comfortable. If you are looking for a relationship, then maybe it might be better to get him to come for day trip, for at least the first time. After all - you've only spoken to this guy face to face once, and on the phone a bit, what if it turns out you don't click? Sleeping with him on what is effectively the first date might not send the best signals either, if what you are after is a long-term thing.

May I ask why you have a problem with him (or anyone else) spending the whole night with you? Surely if you have already gone so far as to have had sex with someone, you must trust them, and all the rets of the night would surely be is sleeping. Sleeping in the same bed as someone can be a really nice feeling - if you've been that intimate, just cuddling while you sleep can be very comforting, and is certainly a nice experience. If you really don't feel comfortable with it though, do put a blow-up bed or something. Whatever you do, don't do anything you're not completely fine with.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

She didn't say she was planning to have sex with him though. :confused:

Reply 5

michelle9876

Thats the thing: It's not that I never wanted anyone to stay, its that noones ever wanted too. This sounds weird. But, I've always thought it'd be quite a lovey thing for a boy to *literally* sleep with, and theyve never wanted too.

What makes me scared now, is that if i've gone far enough to have sex with someone, then I'm not going to keep this a secret from any future partners, and so it then makes me feel a bit silly to say "but i've never actually shared a bed with someone".

Also... Would a day trip be possible? If you lived 5 hours away, and a girl invited you to come see her, would you expect to be put up for the night?

I've never been in any situations similar to this before... I'm just ab it unsure and would like everyone elses opinions on what they'd do! Eventually I'll make my mind up on my own though!

Reply 6

Talon

Id let him stay over. If I took a 5 hour journey to see a girl and she wouldnt put my up for the night thus making me have another 5 hour journey on the same day id be royally pissed.

Reply 7

Kate.

I stayed at my boyfriends house after only being with him a couple of days...if you're comfortable with it, then do it. I would do it.

Reply 8

Katmarauder

Just be careful - make sure you are both clear on whether sex will be involved if he stays over. It's probably a good idea to make sure there's someone else in the house too since you've only seen this guy once and you hardly know him.
Presumably if he was up near where you live when you met him he had somewhere to stay that wasn't your house? Maybe he could stay there. Perhaps I'm being naive but he should understand that you might not be happy with someone who's essentially a stranger staying over.