The Student Room Group

What should I do???

I am looking to quit uni and go back to my home country to get a job. I already have a job set up there ready for me if I want it, and it will pay around £250 / week, which may not sound much, but rent for a good apartment is about £250 / month, and my uncle pays about £40 / month on his groceries, so it is good pay for a job to start off with.

I will use this job to get myself based in the country, and then I will aim to attend the training acadamy for the career I want to spend the rest of my working life in.

The problem is my parent's who have control of my money are in all probability not going to let me have any of it, and they won't accept that I want to quit uni when neither of them went to uni and had to work much harder to get their jobs.


Should I do as they suggest and stay on at uni doing a course that I will do well in, and get a degree I'm not going to use, and get in debt and lose all my money, and then do exactly what I want to do now, just 3 and a half years later, and in debt, but have a degree so if it all goes pear shaped, I'll have a fall back plan.

OR

Should I just do what I want to do, tell my parents that it's my life and I can do what I want with it, demand they give me control of my money, and I go off to my home country, and live my own life according to my plans, not ones they set out for me.



By the way, the amount of money is £16,500, so just under a year's wage for the average young employee in the country.
Reply 1
(ignore what I said)
Why cant you use your degree to get a better job rather than doing the training academy?
Reply 3
supernova2
Why cant you use your degree to get a better job rather than doing the training academy?

I've wanted to do this job for all my life. I've thought about every option, and the only real ones I've managed to find are these two. I really want to go to the acadamy. I'm a stubborn mofo, and I'm not gonna back down from that.

B.T.W. bencat, what's up with your post??
Reply 4
It would help if we had details, what degree are you doing? What career do you want? Generally for a lot of careers there's non graduate routes.
Reply 5
kirstinx
It would help if we had details, what degree are you doing? What career do you want? Generally for a lot of careers there's non graduate routes.

I deliberately left them out as my parents check up on me and on the site, and if I say what I'm doing / want to do, they'll work it out, and I'll be in major trouble for asking people on here for advice and not them.

Sorry :frown:
Reply 6
You are posting anonynously?! It could be any one of the thousands of members on here.

How old are you btw?
Reply 7
Yeah, but paranoia does set in after your parent's check up on everything you do for 11 years. They wouldn't even let me get the bus to school till I was 17, and that was so they didn't have to buy me a car so I wouldn't get my independance.

I'm 18, 19 in a month, and the minimum age for entrance to the acadamy is 19, and they suggest that the closer to 19 you can be the better as you will be in better general health from sports and active hobbies.


I s'pose I can say - I'm doing engineering and looking to join a sector of the police department. I've got a job offer to tie me over till I enter the acadamy.
Whats your home country?
Reply 9
Kittennffc
Whats your home country?

Now that I can't say cos then my parent's will find out. There's only about 5 or 6 people on here from my home country, and they will work it out straight away. Damn my parents :mad:
Why don't you speak to them and tell them exactly what you're feeling. Why the hell are they so possessive in not wanting you to gain independence? You're 18, nearly 19, so techinally an adult, stand up for yourself!
Reply 11
They are like this because I was very nearly killed, and was right on the edge of death when I was a child, and I think my heart stopped for a few seconds before restarting of its own accord, and they had never done a thing to protect me then. My dad used to teach me endos and wheelies and jumps on my bike, my mum used to let me clean the roofing gutters on our house (we had a flat roof).

When I was about to die, they realised they hadn't done enough to protect me, they'd just let me have fun, and then they went into protective overdrive.

I would talk to them, but they will put me down, make me feel like an insignificant worthless piece of sh*t and that I don't care that they put their lives on the back seat so I would be safe, and they never understood that I liked the risk. They would also take it as a direct insult to them and their values, and boy when they feel insulted, that's when it gets bad. They aren't abusive physically, but they can make the strongest man crumble mentally. I've had 3 mental breakdowns partially due to them.
Theres being protective over a child in the sense of their physical safety, but its another thing if they don't trust you enough to check out what internet sites you visit! Anyway, I don't see how this can get solved without you speaking to them, after all they'd know if you suddenly came home from uni one day and started working. Do you have a student line you could ring and get some advice? Or speak to your union? What uni are you at by the way? Or will they find out from that?
Reply 13
I am posting to find out people's opinions to the matter to find out what the general concensus would be, as to if it is worth dropping out of uni or not. That way, I wouldn't have an unnecessary and very awkward conversation with my parents.

And I don't think they'd find out, so might as well say, I go to UCL. They wouldn't even let me apply for a uni further than that!! That way, I can live in halls during the week, and my dad can come and pick me up and take me home at the weekend!
Oh right, sorry, I was under the impression you were an international student!
Reply 15
Kittennffc
Oh right, sorry, I was under the impression you were an international student!


So was I!:confused:
Reply 16
I am international, just my parents moved here with me several years ago, and I never wanted the move, but it was just after the incident, so I wasn't up to complaining. Now I want to go back.