Parents-can't take it anymore :(

Hey,

Yes, I am choosing my unis.

But, they're just making me feel so terrible, the constant guilt trips e.g. 'what if you turn bad at uni-what if the devil leads you astray/ other people might influence you/asian girls don't usually move out for uni.

But the worst thing is...I'm applying to just one uni in London to keep peace in the house (and this particular uni is no way as good as the other 4) and they keep saying things like 'we hope you don't get into the other ones, just this one'.

I feel so terrible

Hey, just an update on the situation.

They had a talk with me and tbh it was more like they were both ganging up on me and making me feel bad about my chosen unis. First, they tried to discourage me from applying to uni altogether and said things such as 'there's no point really, if you are going to end up with so much debt, is there?' Then they criticised the unis I had picked. Both of them said things such as 'what if you forget your religion while at uni?'

I tried to stay composed and I explained to them that the unis I have chosen are all VERY good. But, I don't think I've ever felt that uncomfortable in my life

Right now, they've said 'do what you want', but they're both making me feel so guilty and horrible for choosing the unis I want.



Sorry for the rant.

Hey,

Yes, I am choosing my unis.

But, they're just making me feel so terrible, the constant guilt trips e.g. 'what if you turn bad at uni-what if the devil leads you astray/ other people might influence you/asian girls don't usually move out for uni.

But the worst thing is...I'm applying to just one uni in London to keep peace in the house (and this particular uni is no way as good as the other 4) and they keep saying things like 'we hope you don't get into the other ones, just this one'.

I feel so terrible

Dont feel terrible because this is the response they want.

Guilt tripping someone to get what you want is childish and means they dont actually have any real point to their argument. So the best way to deal with it is ignore it and not let it get to you, which is hard until you get used to it.

If you've picked one then thats cool if it keeps the peace, just dont feel like you have to pick it as your firm or insurance. You could just say the London uni didnt give you an offer?

At the end of the day if you want to move out they cannot stop you.
If you are worried about any retaliation from them (you may not be but some asian girls are) then inform the police and the uni. You would be relatively safe in halls anyway

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

Dont let them guilt trip you. Pick your choices wisely. They may know outright confrontation may not work so will use numbers and trying to make you feel bad to do what they want. It is just another method of trying to control you!

Also do your research! Make sure you thoroughly know your choices and courses ect. Also that "debt" thing is a bunch of ****. That "debt" is what will get you a degree. Those with a degree are more likely to earn more than those without and can get higher in some career ladders. And its not really a loan tbh. More like added tax you pay back when financially capable. Debt collectors will never hound you and in 50 years it will be wiped.

Keep doing what you want. It may seem bad to go against your parents wishes but you need to live your own life and do what you think is best.

Ask yourself this, Would you be happy if you listened to your parents? Where would your future lead if they did not want you to go into further education?

This time may be rough but stick to your guns and the pressure will go once you move out.

This just came to my mind:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4Am9ZL4MASA

Maybe you could show this eg to your parents. If I remember correctly, this student talks both about achieving good grades and being able to keep up her cultural traditions..