Always fighting

I jus don't get it now I've been wiv this girl for a few years and we've been getting on okay jus fine. We see each other a lot and always seem to be fighting for the smallest things.

like if she wants to do something and iI don't want to or the other way around then one of us will end up being upset and the other will get angry. we talk it through but i guess we never really end up sorting the problem becos it would happen again and again. its difficult as we both hav short tempers and sometimes it really gets me upset. She may suddenly get really angry for no reason and if i try to help her she'll snap. afterwards she'll act as if nothin had happeened and expect me to be all happy about it. sometimes she would go all sarcastic saying 'oh you will be upset' which may sound caring when u write it out but its how its said that really gets me upset. then if i speak to her about it she will go 'so now i can't say anything' getting more angry.

it seems be a loop we cant get out of. most days we get on ok but we argue and get upset quite a lot and i think its also effectring our sexual and social lives too. i think were changing and shes wantin to go out and do stuf fmore when i just wanna chill out were I'm most comfourtable. its so hard to not fight because when i try i just get the rude treatment

what shll i do

Reply 1

La Trampa

it happens, after people see each other for a long time they can get irritated by the smallest things.just try not to see each other a lot so you don't get irritated easily.also try to reach a compromise on things or you could work out an arrangement. also talk about what's upsetting,just sit down and have a civil calm conversation,don't say 'i hate..' you could say 'i'm not very comfortbale/or could we talk about you doing this this way..' that sorta thing. :smile:

good luck

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

we try to talk but sometimea it just gets frustratin i don hav any issues with stayin in and we do go out occasionally but im more of a stay in person than a goo out one. she become stroppy and then i get angry or upset or something like that. i get the feeling she is bored of our relationship and mayb wants something more than i can offer her :confused:

Reply 3

La Trampa

well make a compromise.assign certain days or amounts of time you'll go out and stay in during the week,so everyone has to plan carefully.unless there's a sudden invitation that's important everyone sticks to the rules. so let's say for every night that you go out,you have the choice to stay in...or she can go alone etc etc..you guys can work something out.

Reply 4

Spiral Architect

Fighting builds character.

Reply 5

username47781

Well i'd say you need to find out why you two are getting worked up over the smallest things.

Reply 6

Happy1

A few years is a long time. id say its time to have a serious chat about where your relationship is going. Everyone fights about silly things, but fighting constantly about trivial matters can signal that you're spending too much time together, or that you just arent compatible any more.

If you want it to work, you both have to make an effort to keep your tempers under control, maybe spend a week apart or something, and TALK about it.

Reply 7

Monkey_Maiden

I'd agre with some people onhere, you need to chat about what's going on. Towards the end of my last relationship we were arguing all the time over the tiniest things. Stuff that wasn't really that important. In the end we wealised we just wern't right for each other anymore
Sit down and talk maybe it's just something small you can work out but I've always seen an increase in arguing as a bad thing