Ex (dumper) wants to "chat"? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
I was with her 4 years. She walked out on me because I was suffocating her (I can see where she's coming from but it wasn't intentional).

It's been a couple of weeks now and I haven't begged her back at all. We've text eachother twice about living arrangements and belongings in that time.

When I text about my stuff I said it would be good to chat sometime, even by text, just to clear the air.

I got my stuff and left her a note saying I saw where she was coming from and wished her luck in the future - I've accepted it's over.

Last night I was pretty mangled but got a text saying I know you're away this week but it'd be good to meet up for a chat...

HMMM! :rolleyes: What's my response?
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SuperCat007
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#2
Report 6 years ago
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NO! Unless you genuinely think you want to go back ('I've accepted it's over' says it all) don't do it, if you have accepted it's over then having a 'chat' is just going to open up a can of worms which aren't worth opening.

I think I'd say something along the lines of 'Hi, nice to hear from you. I am away this week, but I will have quite a lot on when I'm back (contradicting her telling you you smother her). Maybe another time.'

Leave it at that. However if you still feel like you want to chat to her then say when you want to. I personally wouldn't bother. I'd love to meet up to 'chat' with my ex but I know I'd just end up punching him because I'm still very angry about what happened. It's not usually a good place to revisit so soon after a break up.
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Ice_Queen
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Two weeks and you have accepted it is over? It has been four months since my break up and i still find myself having to resist going to his house.

If you are absolutely certain you have accepted it is over then there is no harm in it. If you have even a glimmer otherwise, don't go.

Just my opinion.

IQ

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-I8160
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Anonymous #1
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I say accepted it's over. But I guess I mean I've accepted that its not in my hands anymore and it's time to move on.

I don't know how to reply to be honest. I am actually enjoying the single life but love her to bits and I pushed her away.

Do I ignore or do we talk?
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Nice Marmite
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I say accepted it's over. But I guess I mean I've accepted that its not in my hands anymore and it's time to move on.

I don't know how to reply to be honest. I am actually enjoying the single life but love her to bits and I pushed her away.

Do I ignore or do we talk?
Meet her for one hour in a cafe. Do not exceed the hour. Do not go anywhere else. In this way nothing can get out of hand and you'll have a really clear boundary for yourself.

Make it clear to her that you're busy, you'd like to talk and you can spare 1 hour on a specific date.
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live_a_life
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I would actually meet her for that chat if I were you. There's still something there. You still love her, you'll kick yourself if you pass up this opportunity. You've got a lot of history, that must count for something. You're in a good position, something was wrong in the relationship, you're obviously going to change that if you get another chance.

If you prefer being single fair enough! But if you still love her, go meet her


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Anonymous #1
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It's just surreal. I don't know whether to ask what it is she wants to talk about before comiting to going ahead with it because if it's just so she has an opportunity to get closure it's not going to do my progress any good.

How would I text her that? Without looking needy haha?
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Studentus-anonymous
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#8
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Chances are that is all she wants.
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username239687
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#9
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No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmR8fzQjuD8
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Warrior Queen
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#10
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Move on. She's clearly a slut.
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Anonymous #1
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I just said yeah no problem. Haha. Regret it already!
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username239687
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just said yeah no problem. Haha. Regret it already!
Sounds like a good idea. You already regret it and most posters said don't do it.

Good job!
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live_a_life
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#13
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Meh, I doubt it's closure after 2 weeks. Keep us posted. Prove me right. 4 years is a long time, I'd hate to throw that away if I were in your position! Rekindle the relationship if that's what you want


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Anonymous #1
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I'm just a mess of emotions. I've asked what she thinks it will achieve. If its negative it's not worth it and if it's positive it's too soon to talk about it rationally..
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g36c
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#15
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DO NOT REPLY.

wait for her to ask for u back properly, if thats what you want.

but do not contact her otherwise, she is just using you as an emotional tampon.
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Zangoose
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#16
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There's no harm in meeting up as long as you go about it the right way. Just make sure she's not trying to win the upper hand over the situation.
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Rock Fan
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#17
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I'm sure there's no harm in a chat and see what she has to say
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Warrior Queen
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#18
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(Original post by Zangoose)
There's no harm in meeting up as long as you go about it the right way. Just make sure she's not trying to win the upper hand over the situation.
Contradiction.
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infairverona
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#19
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#19
Meet her for a chat if you want and just be very relaxed and friendly. Don't act as if you're a couple, sounds obvious but I expect when you see her you'll slip back into boyfriend/girlfriend type chat. Don't give anything away, just try to be charming and funny etc and make sure you leave first (say something like "Oh I've got plans tonight so I'll have to be going now") and then let her contact you first.

This is what I'd do anyway, I read this book years ago that my mum had called "The Rules" and it works like a charm. Basically tells you how to get a guy, how to get a guy back, etc. I guess it'd work the other way around
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Anonymous #1
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Apparently it is because I said it'd be good to chat sometime to clear the air... So she's willing to do that. Although when I said that to her I said even just by text and certainly didn't suggest so soon :/
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