Bad friend? (Sorry v long)

Ok, just wanted a few thoughts on this, becuase as per usual I am feeling quite guilty about a situation, which may or may not be justified...

I'm a first year at Oxbridge on a course with a heavy workload, and it is pretty much fact that you have to use the holidays to consolidate and revise (we have exams in summer with practically no time to revise terms 1 and 2 beforehand so effectively have to do it now). My friend knows all this becuase I have explained it to her qutie a few times. In the Christmas holidays she wanted me to go swimming with her a few times a week, but I told her I wasn't able to becuase I needed the time to revise (to have an hour's swim would take up at least two hours since I don't live in town). For this I got called boring, pathetic and annoying. But as usual I put it down to her never thinking before she speaks. Back at uni she is always on MSN saying she is bored, if I try to tell her I'm working and would appreciate her not saying 'I'm bored' every five minutes, she just types in kjstliyglaerkmgn and all sorts of similar crap. I've also been told again I was annoying, that I'm forgetting my old life, I'm a bad friend and I'm too 'Oxbridgy' (she thinks the idea of Formal, gowns and rowing is stupid).

Anyways, back at home this holiday, once again I'm revising. And again she's asked me to go swimming with her. And I told her I can't. And yep you guessed it, I've been called all the same things again, but in addition been told I have no life. I've blocked her on MSN and really don't feel much inclined to speak to her at all. (I've blocked her before on MSN but felt too guilty after a day or two so unblocked her). Thing is she's always upsetting people by saying exaclty what she thinks and I usually stick up for her and fight her corner, but she's also let me down twice when I trusted her.

What I'm trying to say, am I justified in being so mad at her, or should I go back to feeling guilty becuase I'm a bad friend? Should I tell her why I'm so upset (have tried doing this before but she denied calling me those things and didn't seem to comprehend why) My mum says I should just ignore her becusae she's always done this and is always upsetting people,but she's not exactly unbiased. Am I being incredibly selfish for not going swimming with her? Am I just over-reacting? Gah.... :mad:

(Am also rather worried she'll make my other friends gang up on me, even tho I know this is quite unlikely as they often get a bit fed up of her too..)

Any thoughts appreciated, thanks.

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Reply 20

SciFi25

You can't let your work ruin your social life, in the end that sort of mindset will destroy both!! You need a break in order to keep working with maximum efficiency! Take a couple of hours a week and see her, it won't be the end of the world and you may even get more work done than you would have due to the increased efficiency in your working patterns. It works for my gf!

Reply 21

ZanyZanny

wow two hours away from revision that a long time. if i were you i would go swimming with your mate as it seems she has the right to be annoyed at you as you are kind of neglecting her so you appear to be the bad friend here

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