The Student Room Group

Friends Advice

Hey sorry all for posting this as anonymous but I don't know if any of my friends go on this so best to be safe.

Just wanted some advice on something that's happened between me and a 'friend' its sort of all over now but I never really got anyone's opinion that didn't know the people involved.

Well basically, I had this friend, and we started to get really good mates in year 10 and 11 so she was one of my 'best' friends. Then I introduced her to my boyfriend and we always used to hang out as a group with a few other friends but my boyfriend is a bit on the flirty side (which he did admit and apologised for) but it started to get a bit like she would text him and ask him to meet up before she asked me etc. Like once when she got back from holiday she immediately txted him to say did he want to meet up the next day and didn't txt me at all.

Also she's a bit of a fake when it comes to being drunk, (you know the people who are slightly tipsy but act very drunk to get attention). well when they used to go to the pub with a few other mates when I couldn't go she would be all over him and pull down her top etc and shout so that everyone could hear for my boyfriend to stop looking down her top etc. It got to the point when she even did it infront of me and just ignored me. I mentioned it to my boyfriend and he said he would stop being 'flirty' as he usually is so that maybe she would stop, but when I was on holiday they went to the cinema with my other friend and when I came home my other friend told me that she'd been cuddling up to my boyfriend and holding his hand in the cinema and afterwards etc. So I was a bit confused really so my boyfriend went to the cinema alone with her and lent over her to get some popcorn but stopped near her face to see if she would do anything and apparantly she leant in as if to kiss him but he pulled away cos he obviously didn't want to.

I know this may seem really pathetic of me to ask advice on but it went on for so long and I only ever felt like I was her friend when I was either with my boyfriend or when she wanted me to be her friend. Since all this happened we've had major arguments etc and my friends that I had in year 11 have now split into two distinct groups. (Not all because of this! :P there were lots of other issues between friends etc) But I never got an apology from her for any of this even though she knew I was upset by it cos I wrote her a letter to tell her all my feelings, but I didn't get a reply so we never really spoke about it. I just wanted to know from people who weren't involved was I being really pathetic or did I have some valid points etc?

Please reply I would really like to know.
Thanks:confused:
p.s. sorry for the long thread!:smile:
It clearly seems that you do hav a right to be annoyed at this so called friend as what she seemed to be doing was out of order. I know friends can easily get pally with other mates' boyfriends but it seems that she went too far. I think you should just 4get about her and the whole situation. It's good that your boyfriend supported you on the matter and it was very clever for you to let him go to the cinema with her on their own. You seemed to have done the right thing in an awkward situation...
Reply 2
Thanks that's good to hear from someone who doesn't know us all etc.

Does anyone else have a view as I'd like a wide range just so I know like what to do if this happens again in the future etc.

Anyone got any suggestions on what I could have done instead??
Reply 3
xgracesx

It was good if yoru boyfriend realised what he was doing though, are you still together?


Yeh we're still happily together, he's at uni now though but after this I know I can trust him:smile:
Anonymous
Thanks that's good to hear from someone who doesn't know us all etc.

Does anyone else have a view as I'd like a wide range just so I know like what to do if this happens again in the future etc.

Anyone got any suggestions on what I could have done instead??

i don't suppose you can really stop your boyfriend from seeing her, but your friend seems to be in the wrong, as you have already said that he is flirty- he probably can't help it. She sounds as though she isn't worth having as a friend if she keeps coming on to your boyfriend- good luck
Reply 5
Mrs. Political
i don't suppose you can really stop your boyfriend from seeing her, but your friend seems to be in the wrong, as you have already said that he is flirty- he probably can't help it. She sounds as though she isn't worth having as a friend if she keeps coming on to your boyfriend- good luck


Well he's at uni now and she did some pretty nasty stuff to my other mates who were also mates with my boyfriend so he no longer speaks to her cos of that so it's ok now I just wondered if I was acting immature or not
Anonymous
Well he's at uni now and she did some pretty nasty stuff to my other mates who were also mates with my boyfriend so he no longer speaks to her cos of that so it's ok now I just wondered if I was acting immature or not

no, you're just worried- sounds to me as though your friend is being immature
Reply 7
Mrs. Political
no, you're just worried- sounds to me as though your friend is being immature


Thanks for the advice!

Has anyone else got any views? What about a male view cos they're usually different :P
Reply 8
Your ex friend sounds like a slag and probably was only your friend to try and get to you bf in the first place. She sounds like an ex friend of mine who is a total bitch! At least your bf was decent enough not to do anything with her, many guys wouldnt have been respectable in that way! I dont think you were immature at all.
Reply 9
Well I mentioned to her once that it seemed like she'd picked the other girls 'side' rather than mine, and she said she hadn't but she continues to be best mates with her now.

They're always together and everyone who I was quite close with is still friends with her, I know I shouldn't make them choose but it hurts to think that they just accept what she did. I have a feeling they all believe me and agree with me but are too afraid to cause trouble does this sound reasonable?
It just hurts when people are talking to me and then go off to her as soon as she appears, if you understand?

I'd definately tell your friend to talk to the one she's lost because I regret not doing that at the time.