The Student Room Group

He just doesn't try it on!

Okay so there's a guy who I've been getting a bit close with recently and we have spent the night together a few times now. The thing is I know he is a bit of a player and sleeps around a bit. So I figured I would take things easy and not sleep with him at first so generally we just kiss/cuddle lots. But the thing is I'm bored of the kissing and cuddling and want to go a bit furthur but it's just not happening! I'll be quite suggestive when we are together but still he doesn't even attempt at moving things furthur. I don't want to completely take the inititive as I prefer the guy to. I'm not used to spending so much time in bed with a guy and them not actually trying something sexual. It's all a bit bizarre. Especially when I know he has had his fair share of experience. He seems keen enough and always says he enjoyed being with me/ wants to see me again. So yeah? Anyone have any guesses as to why this is happening? I'm getting randy as anything!!

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Reply 1
Try some Barry White - he'll know.
Reply 2
Maybe he actually likes and respects you and does want to go any further becuase he knows hes got a rep and doesnt want you to think he is using you for sex?
Well... If he's a real player...

A true player will make the girl want him; he won't chase. He'll wait till your brimming with sexual frustrattion, it makes you easier to play.

Not sayng this is what's happening, just be careful :smile:
Reply 4
Hmm, just read back what I originally put and think Im being a bit harsh on him. He isn't a total player but I do know he has had sex with a few girls he's not been that interested in. He's been involved in long lasting relationships aswell as flings so although he's not a complete player he does like the sex. Except with me it seems! Is it likely that he just doesn't find me sexually attractive?
It might be a sign that he really likes you. If he sleeps around a bit with girls he's not that interested in he may have associated sex in his mind with being an act which lacks respects for females.
Reply 6
Saving you for the honeymoon.
This is so confusing! So if a guy respects you, he wont do anything? Basically a no win situation :rolleyes:

Anyway, I’d take it slow, see how it progresses :smile: I highly doubt he’s not interesting.
Er, then take it into your hands (infer what you will) to move things further. Maybe he's just wary of how you'll react, you need to inform him (subtly) that you wanna do more.
Definitely an issue of respect! Shows he really likes you and doesnt want to rush things. I think you should take matters into your own hands and iniate it, even tho you say you dont want to. If you let him know you want it, then im sure he;ll be more than willing!!
it sounds like he likes you and wants to take things slow!
Reply 11
Just take the initiative, once he knows thats what your after he'll probably take the lead from there.
You chicks kill me. You whinge that all blokes are after is sex, then when something like this happens and a bloke wants to take it a bit slower you're back on the whinge again! Cant win can we?
^ Nah, that’s just your perception. Everyone is different. I don’t mind if he takes it slow, so long as it has nothing to do with respect :smile: because basically…that’s stupid :p:
Pretty Boy
You might think its stupid, but one day it will finally sink in that thats how blokes think.

If he thinks he has something special he'll treat it with respect - player or no player.

If he doesn't respect it, he'll jump it and leave it.

Believe it.

Yes, but you see darling, I don’t care :p: sorry, didn’t mean for that to sound rude :redface:

But that’s exactly it, I don’t care. I’m not into strict monogamous relationships **hopes boyfriend never sees this**

But seriously, I really don’t care about respect. Sure, it will hurt if someone I really like leaves after a night, but that’s his choice. You can’t really force someone to be with you. If they only want a one night stand, so be it :dontknow: I wont regret anything.
Pretty Boy
hey, you're not hurting my feelings, its cool.

I know how most guys view girls who aren't into monogamous relationships, but then I guess you don't care. Some girls do care how they're viewed tho.

You make it sound like I’m a slut :rolleyes:
I’ve learnt to not care what others think, because it's led to some foolish mistakes. I’m not going to suppress any desires just to make someone think I’m respectful. How is being human disrespecting yourself? I’m not asking for money or gifts, nor am I trying to trick him to become my boyfriend :s:
Reply 16
wow most people complain when they do
Pretty Boy
If you don't want to be viewed as respectful as you've said then thats your choice.

Only because I normally don’t care what others think.

All I'm saying is that most girls care how they're viewed by the opposite sex.

Fair enough. But can you really control what other think of you? That’s why I find it a waste of time. Just because a girl teases but doesn’t “give it up” does not make her dignified.
Reply 18
bluedreamer
This is so confusing! So if a guy respects you, he wont do anything? Basically a no win situation :rolleyes:


Unfortunately, the really confusing thing is that there are no 'if a guy feels X, he'll do Y' rules.

OP - Maybe ask him?
bluedreamer when you meet someone you actually truly love and care about im sure you wont think the same. Especially if it gets to the point where noone wants to be with you if youre seen as easy or a 2-timer. People do care about what others think and they should