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bad choice?

About half a year ago my long-term girlfriend broke up with me. We had been going out since we were 16 (now 18). For a long period of time we lived together, so we both became close with eachothers families. It was both our first long term relationship, but anyone that new us knew how good we were together, if one was without the other they would always ask where they were.

Now the reason for her splitting up with me was completely my fault. I got to comfortable with her and basically stopped treating her like a girlfriend, and she loved me so much she would do anything for me, so i can imagine how horrible she must have felt most of the time. With all my mates turning 18 before me i felt like a i had alot of catching up to do with going out and drinking, which meant I would leave her at my house and go out with my friends. Yes i sound like a bit of a jerk now.

But when she came to breaking up with me, it was only then i realised how much she meant to me and my life started going down hill. Her parents said it was really hard on her as well as she was crying everynight for weeks. I tried everything to get her back, but she really didnt want to get hurt again. We stayed really good friends and hung out a couple days a week which was cool but really hard for me as when i had to take her home i would get really depressed again. We even spent christmas day together which was amazing but depressing when it ended. I also had to worry about now she was single i knew loads of guys liked her and all i could think about was her doing stuff.

I started to drink everynight with a mate that recently was dumped as well and it felt like the only time we could stop thinking about it was when we were drunk. At first we would go down the pub and have a couple pints but recently we find ourselves going through a litre of vodka before we even go out. He now attends alcohol awareness meetings, after a bad night i wont go into. It got worse when i heard that she had slept with someone, i think ive never felt lower. I have "dated" a couple of girls since and non compare, i have slept with a few and regretted it as it feels wrong not being with her.

Anyway 2 months ago i find out she has got a boyfriend, which i didnt react to like a always imagined i would. For once i actually started to think whatever made her happy. Now about a month ago we started to hang out regularly again even though she had a boyfriend, but she told him about how close we are still because of our history and he was cool with it. We were hanging out one night and she said that she see's how i treat girls now, and why didnt i treat her like that. obviously an experience like what i went through has changed me and i have grown up from it. But then she says that she wishes she never broke up with me, and she wants to go back out with me. Now shes a very emotional girl and always puts other peoples feelings first so shes not sure how shes going to break up with her boyfriend, but i got a text today saying she is going to do it soon cus hes annoying her or something.

But my question is do you think that we should get back together? we both have been through alot and i dont know if we would be the same. I go to uni in september, i should have gone last year but i put it off a year for her. I mean for the last 6 months i have wanted her really badly, and i never thought it would happen. ive started to think though if i say yes, how should i go about it, or is it even a good idea to get back together.

Reply 1

lollipopsticks

u;s obv have something there and i think you should give it a go u never no...and also you dnt want to give up on a possible soul mate?

Reply 2

hitmanuk2k

Yea it sounds like you really still want to be with her, so giving it a second chance can't be a bad thing. Though that said if you are no longer feeling low, maybe you have moved on and are over her?

Reply 3

Jelkin

I think you should do it, because if you don't you could regret it forever, right? Sounds like you have a really deep relationship and I think it could possibly work. What is your instinct telling you?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Well ive wanted it for so long, but i worry that we have been with other people and it might sit in the back of our minds. its difficult to explain unless youve been there but, if it doesnt work and i have to go through all of it again.

Reply 5

Tyler Durden

I think you should, yes. You both sound like you're in a better position to make it work. Make sure you don't treat her badly again though. You don't always get second chances...

Reply 6

Redefined

Your going to uni, is she? Whatever happens will you be far appart or within easy traveling distance?

If you are moving away then I'd say leave it for time you are in Uni, keep in touch and if that feeling you both have is still there, then go for it.

It would be hard to get back together now just to leave in a few months and both of you get hurt again.

Reply 7

Happy1

Do you think she'll want to get back together with you? Taking someone for granted really can hurt them quite badly, and she's probably going to be pretty reluctant to let that happen again. If you're serious about this, its going to be one hell of a job convincing her that you deserve her again.

Reply 8

speedstacker

First love is always memorable.
If u still like her and still single why not get back with her. Don't think too much.

~Let It Be~~~~
Good Luck.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Well shes finishing her boyfriend for me so i guess she is serious about trying to make it work. And im going to uni like an hour from where we live and shes going to one an hour in the other direction next year... so i guess we could make it work.

Reply 10

mangomaz

As long as you dont make the same mistake again :smile:

Reply 11

shinytoy

i think if you both feel the same way, after all you've been through you probably still like eah other. i say give it a go cos you dont know what you might be throwing away if you dont

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

If you get back with her.. than be certain you're going to marry her, congratulations :smile:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Well she says to me now that she is definately going to break up with him, but i know she puts other peoples feelings first and she doesnt want to hurt him so im not sure how long it will take. We have spoken about how to go about being together again, and we seem to think to start as though weve only just met and take it slow... But considering what we have been through and were practically engaged at one point (i even had ring) im not sure if that will be possible.

Reply 14

sharpey09

I would say do it, go with your gut in my experience its the most trustworthy friend we all have.

Also im in the same position as the "boyfriend" my current gf of 4 1/2 months is still very close with her ex of 3 1/2 years and if she came to me and said she wanted to get back with him i would encourage her to follow her heart because i understand the relationship, yeah i would be gutted but i would get over it, id be happy that she had done what she wanted. hope this perspective helps

hope it all works out buddy